[INFJ] INFJ+INFJ relationship, any thoughts about this?

[Angry Ayrab]

Tell him to give us half a chance. We're not that bad.

If it makes you feel any better, I am so attracted to INxJ's it is not even a joke. They are freaking genious, and the only ones that can keep up with me. Only issue is they seem to always be hiding something, but I can usually read right through them.

He says he hates it because it makes him feel like he has to open up some type of conversation with the other introvert, and for him that is just too much work. Wierdly enough, I have forced him to be the center piece talking figure many times, and he does just fine, albiet in a slightly sissy fashion.

I'll tell him to try it, but he will probably just say to hell with all of them.

 

[Desert Flower]

he does just fine, albiet in a slightly sissy fashion

They are freaking genious, and the only ones that can keep up with me. Only issue is they seem to always be hiding something, but I can usually read right through them.

That's the way i feel about ENFPs too. The first time i talked to one I was like "Holy crap, I better watch what I say because this person is very aware".

 

[lorkan]

This combination is very interesting to me. Still nobody with experience or observations of any friends? =/

 

[cascadeco]

I have several close INFJ friends, and I love all of them. It's definitely easy/effortless to connect, we automatically tend to understand each other, and we have a lot in common.

But in a romantic relationship? Being around/with another INFJ 24/7?? Ug. I think it would be boring, not to mention annoying (I mean, the same sorts of pitfalls/weaknesses/dilemmas/patterns for both), and wouldn't yield many opportunities to grow and expand as a person - on both of our parts.

I know some people are in favor of, and prefer, dating and being with someone who is very similar to themselves - less potential conflict, more initial understanding. But I'm in the other camp - I want someone different, who might complement me, and fill in some of the things I'm not naturally good at. Challenge me a bit, maybe, and also keep things more exciting and less predictable. It would be somewhat predictable with another INFJ, even though yes - it's a given we're complex. ;-)

Edit: although now that I read the other responses, everyone's brought up good, favorable points, and making me question what I wrote! But I'm sticking to what I wrote! -- Just not what I'm seeking out of a relationship, that's all. Too much of the same dynamic. Like I said - Ug!

 

[lorkan]

My parents have a friends who are INTJ/INTJ and they've been together for several years. I don't know very much about them except that they seem to get along fine together. The lady in that relationship is civilengineer and the other is politician, and my guess is that they would have alot to talk about because in their own house, is the only place they feel understood. Just a mere guess because they've been together very long and seem very good together. And my imagination tells me it would be nice to have a place were you actually feel more understand, and also neither superior or inferior regarding intellect and emotions. You can always have friends who are other types so interaction-wise not get to bored in life. Although I can't imagine what hobbies we would probably share and if a INFJ women would like having small projects that both could work on.

 

[cascadeco]

My parents have a friends who are INTJ/INTJ and they've been together for several years. I don't know very much about them except that they seem to get along fine together. The lady in that relationship is civilengineer and the other is politician, and my guess is that they would have alot to talk about because in their own house, is the only place they feel understood. Just a mere guess because they've been together very long and seem very good together. And my imagination tells me it would be nice to have a place were you actually feel more understand, and also neither superior or inferior regarding intellect and emotions. You can always have friends who are other types so interaction-wise not get to bored in life. Although I can't imagine what hobbies we would probably share and if a INFJ women would like having small projects that both could work on.

Well sure, again it all comes down to what the people want out of the relationship.

Plus, any type combo could work together, in theory, and have a happy, long marriage, if both people want to work for it, and if the relationship fulfills the needs of both parties.

 

[MrME]

I find myself quickly drawn toward NF-types and I wouldn't be opposed to attempting a relationship with an INFJ.

If only I had the TIME!!

 

[lorkan]

Damn. I really sound traditional when I said that. I just really want stability and at the same time feel understood.

 

[iwakar]

I think it'd be two times too much of "The Me Show!"

We're emotionally high maintenance, whether we like it or not.

 

[lorkan]

I think it'd be two times too much of "The Me Show!"

We're emotionally high maintenance, whether we like it or not.

That actually sounds scary

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I think it'd be two times too much of "The Me Show!"

We're emotionally high maintenance, whether we like it or not.

Liar! I'm not high maintenance...

 

[eclare]

I think it'd be two times too much of "The Me Show!"

We're emotionally high maintenance, whether we like it or not.

Oh my goodness, yes. I think that if I ever met myself I would find me insufferable. A male version of me would be even worse

 

[MrME]

I'm not high-maintenance ...

 

[Valiant]

This idea seem kind of like incestuous

 

[conrad]

But in a romantic relationship? Being around/with another INFJ 24/7?? Ug. I think it would be boring, not to mention annoying (I mean, the same sorts of pitfalls/weaknesses/dilemmas/patterns for both), and wouldn't yield many opportunities to grow and expand as a person - on both of our parts.

I am going on 4 weeks with an INFJ (and I am an INFJ too). Things just keep getting better. The level of communication is amazing. Both of us value that very much. We are very very similar where it counts yet uniquely different in many of the important ways too. She just turned 40 and I am 41... almost 42. I think by this age INFJ's have worked out enough stuff in their heads to know what they really want and need. I other words it takes us a while to grow up but once we have it can be quite amazing with another INFJ.

 

[quietmusician]

I think it could work if you want someone truly similar to you. Some days I think I would like a girl with opposite personality traits, but compliment mine at the same time. And then there are days where I just would rather have that familiarity. I've spent my life around too many SF's, ST's, and NT's and I've never had an NF friend or relationship. When it comes to romance I think I would test it out with an INFJ chick. I don't think too much damage could come out of that, lol.

 

[Thursday]

Liar! I'm not high maintenance...

Nope. But you are an ENFJ.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Nope. But you are an ENFJ.

Ha. I wish! Cause then I'd be kewl

 

[conrad]

I'm not high-maintenance ...

Yeah man, but look at you... you're coming apart... maybe just a little maintenance now and then would be in order?

 

[Tiltyred]

I just started becoming friends with a fellow INFJ woman. We were introduced over a year ago and probably nothing would have come of it except that she had a specific thing she thought I could help her with, and that got us talking. When we both found out we were INFJs, we practically jumped up and threw ourselves at each other. We're in a workplace saturated with NTs. I must say, it's very very nice to be among your own kind. I imagine it would be great with the opposite sex, too, with the caveat that you had better be ready for a Capital R Relationship, because it almost can't be anything else. To me, that's excellent for a female friendship -- I want to build a relationship and know she does, too -- but with men and women, sometimes that's a little much all at once.