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[INFJ] INFJ+INFJ relationship, any thoughts about this?

Penguin

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Apr 20, 2008
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i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)

the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly

conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation

but that is just what i believe, lets hear it from the rest of you :D
 

helen

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I've never met a male INFJ, or at least if I have, I didn't recognize him as one. So this is speaking hypothetically.
i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)

Well, this is probably true. I almost never get bored and it always surprises me when people mention being bored, because it's something I just can't empathize with.

the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly
Does being an INFJ necessarily mean that you are trustworthy? But I do think a sense of understanding and being understood by the other would likely arise very soon, and that this would hasten the process of the two becoming comfortable with eachother.
conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation

Perhaps they'd be tricky at first, but I bet that they could become awesome rather quickly. So much similarity of outlook, and ability to grasp the other's feelings and point of view.

Still I'm not so sure. All of this sounds like it could make for a very fulfilling friendship, but I wonder if romance would actually happen. Would each person feel that the other actually needed them in any real way, or that they completed eachother? What about that sense of fascination that comes from innate differences? My perspective on relationships is that a person is basically looking for their missing half, not their double.

But hey, it all depends on what the people involved find fulfilling and attractive. I'm sure marriages between people of the same type are carried on successfully all the time. There are many other factors that influence two people coming together besides MBTI. Similar life goals, and religious and philosophical beliefs are doubtless much more important.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)
I can't imagine boredom would be an issue. I think whoever said that doesn't understand the type. I think it would be a very interesting dynamic based on the inner complexities and insight of the type.

the Wall could be overridden by the fact that each INFJ will quickly sense a trustworthy person in each other, and they will let their guard down quite quickly

conversations could be a bit tricky at first, but that depends more on each one's ability to carry an interesting conversation

but that is just what i believe, lets hear it from the rest of you :D
I'm guessing the relationship would result in plenty of non-verbal communication. The main pitfall may come from making assumptions (depending on the INFJ) about the other person because the type is used to intuitively reading others. It might be good to make some effort to take each other at their word and to practice verbalizing needs. When too many assumptions based on subtle cues come into play, things can get hyper-sensitized and communication can warp into misread signals. I think the pairing could run very deep and be wonderful for you depending on the specific people involved. :hug:
 

cafe

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I think I'm too bossy to be in a relationship with another J. :blush:
 

Thursday

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Cafe-are you sure about the traps of a J-J relation ship ?

i think that as long as both parties understand which role they play and when to switch from leader to other, then its fine

perhaps the inability to do this is the monkeywrench in most relationships
 
S

Sniffles

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Hey if any of the hot INFJ babes here want to test this theory out, don't hesitate to PM me.
ladys-man.gif
 

redacted

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i think it could work out very well, outsiders could say that it is a boring relationship, but the 2 people involved would never really get bored, since INXJ's in general rarely get bored(from what i know of)

hmm. i probably get bored more than anyone else i know (shadow Se). i'm definitely not bored around interesting people, though, so i would think it wouldn't be an issue for me, at least in terms of the hypothetical relationship.

I'm guessing the relationship would result in plenty of non-verbal communication. The main pitfall may come from making assumptions (depending on the INFJ) about the other person because the type is used to intuitively reading others. It might be good to make some effort to take each other at their word and to practice verbalizing needs. When too many assumptions based on subtle cues come into play, things can get hyper-sensitized and communication can warp into misread signals. I think the pairing could run very deep and be wonderful for you depending on the specific people involved. :hug:

very very good point.

i could totally see myself with a fellow INFJ. i'm also not that typical for an INFJ (a lot of the judging i do is Ti, so i'm not as closure oriented as most), so i still think there would be complementary traits in the relationship.

i'd rather have an INTJ though.
 

cafe

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Cafe-are you sure about the traps of a J-J relation ship ?

i think that as long as both parties understand which role they play and when to switch from leader to other, then its fine

perhaps the inability to do this is the monkeywrench in most relationships
I'm not sure about the traps of a J-J relationship. I'm extrapolating that by the way I tend to react to any male using a directive communication style with me unless (and sometimes even if) he's my boss. Let's just say I don't tolerate it well.
 

Thursday

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I'm not sure about the traps of a J-J relationship. I'm extrapolating that by the way I tend to react to any male using a directive communication style with me unless (and sometimes even if) he's my boss. Let's just say I don't tolerate it well.

[ switches communication style ]
well,
since you are an INFJ, in this thread ,
it would be a good idea to communicate how you like to be communicated to

and why male ?
 

cafe

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[ switches communication style ]
well,
since you are an INFJ, in this thread ,
it would be a good idea to communicate how you like to be communicated to

and why male ?
I believe the dichotomy as related to perceiving/judging is called an informative communication style.

I do not know why I react to a directive communication style in males the way I do. Maybe it has to do with being more of a dom than a sub. Maybe it has to do with being spoiled beyond reason by the closest thing I had to a father figure growing up. Who knows? It's just a pattern I've observed.

Js, like myself, tend to have more of a directive style, so make of it what you will. It's not a value judgment about J men or a blanket statement about INFJ + INFJ relationships. It's just my own preference. My husband, a perceiver, doesn't seem to mind my directive style and I do try to be considerate and keep it to a minimum, so it works. And his informative style works very nicely with me.
 

Thursday

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ah
i like the harsh J tone a bit in an introvert
and a P tone in an extrovert

it balances out, what with the E's natural resonance, making it sound like a command
 

tenINsFJ

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i always questioned this too... to find someone much like myself. i was at a orchestra concert for school, saw a girl, knew her friend, been messaging her on myspace for a couple months now. just found out 3 days ago she's an infj. going to hang out with her on tuesday at a park with our dogs. i'll keep you posted on how it goes lol. im really excited to meet an infj...

lol when i found out she was an infj i immediately said lets hang out, hahaha. im so odd.
 

tenINsFJ

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i think infj and infj can work if you have something in common.. as in hobbies and stuff. if both infjs have the same passion, no reason why it would never work out. and quite frankly i think infj + infj can work easy. talking is almost no problem because its almost like you know what the other person is saying or thinking while they're saying it. it's weird to describe.
 
S

Sniffles

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I must confess to have interacted with only a few INFJ women. Yet I couldn't help but want to hug and kiss them endlessly with almost every word they spoke. :wubbie:

So yes, despite my little experience in this area, I believe in the great potential of INFJ + INFJ relationships - of course with the addition of similar interests and other important factors. And also, it depends heavily on the actual people involved.

As for me, I would jump at the chance to be in a relationship with a loverly INFJ girl.
 

Desert Flower

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talking is almost no problem because its almost like you know what the other person is saying or thinking while they're saying it. it's weird to describe.

Interesting. Now, I really want to meet another INFJ in RL. (And i thought the ENFP-INFJ "thing" was pretty freakin' cool...this sounds awesome).
 

Hang

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Some say that INFJ conversation with another INFJ would be stiff at first. Not at all. INFJ's get a lot of vibe. And I admit that sometimes I can be too willing and trustworthy. Once I reveal this to another INFJ there is a click. INFJs can be bold, when they like someone, they would stuggle weather or not they should tell the person. But in the end they do. They just need someone to bring it up first. The relationship is not boring at all. There is always new philosophy and obtacles in the relationship. Due to low self-esteem or doubts. But this is where I can truely say that INFJ relationship is what you can call true love. Because it always seeks out perfection.
 

Hang

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INFP and INFJ can also work out.

I've been doing some reading.

Jesus Christ was what you call a major INFJ.
Mary Magdalene was an INFP.

Jesus said that he loved her for her spunk. And she loved him for his charisma and teachings. They were childhood sweethearts. And they were an example of perfect love.

Sorry to the religious kook
(sorry again)
 
S

Sniffles

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I have my skepticism about INFJ-INFP; in large part due to my experiences at the INFP forum. Oh course this is just me. INFPs often seem to be sensitive to the manner I often conduct myself, or rather the words which I express myself with.

Your theory about Jesus and Mary Magdalene being childhood sweat-hearts and so on was completely unnecessary.
 
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