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  1. #131
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Typhus View Post
    No, I'm not scared away that easily, I'm just busy. I'm serious about learning more about ENFPs. I didn't choose to like that type. I say like ENFPs because most of the women I've been attracted to have been of that type.

    I do think that there has been an overreaction to some off the cuff comments I made, but I admit that part of that is my fault because I opened up with an insensitive approach. I should've said this before, but I'm one of those INTPs that's sarcastic and clownish. I like to wind people up, but I wasn't trying to do that here. But echoes of my personality come through and you thought I was trolling.

    INTPs are weird and misunderstood and and atypical INTPs have it harder. I'm trying to stop coming off as a douche to ENFPs and everyone else. That's why I'm back. I'm serious in my goal.

    It seems that I'm coming off to you just as a stereotypically judgemental ESTJ would dress down an INTP for failing to be an SJ. I had no idea that this was how Ti would conflict with Fi. Is that why ENFP-INTP relationships are discouraged?

    I didn't mean to suppress a vital part of a person or force them to think as I do. As an INTP, I know all about the weight of social expectations that I have no interest in meeting. Now that I know this, what things can I do so that I don't tread on Fi and produce this reaction? Give ENFPs space to engage their Ne (?) and explore the world and understand systems without demanding they follow my standards of logic and thought. But what else?

    Why are ENFJs theoretically ideal for INTPs? Js tend to be controlling and that pisses me off. (Ironic isn't it?)
    Im glad to see you came back
    And Im glad to see you want to see this through, it shows a lot of goodwill on your side - something ENFPs tend to appreciate tremendously

    I guess you could say that it is the way SJs piss you off. Really though, all types are capable of this and start out in life this way, I'd wager. What I mean by that is - when you develop as a person, you value your own perspective on the world. In fact, often we aren't aware that others view the world differently. Perhaps we say we do, but we don't *actually* understand how someone could possibly see the world in a different way than we do. You view the world through Ti. You don't know any better, it is so second nature to you that you don't even notice it being there. Like glasses you never take off. And because you re unaware of those glasses, you expect others to see the same thing. SJs in their own right see the world through Si (and because there are a lot of them, they are more validated in having 'the right perspective' perhaps). So your perspective ticks them off and makes you look either stupid, inept or deliberately obstinate.

    Similarly, dominant Ne probably looks flaky and airheaded to you, despite the fact that you use it yourself. Fi, the auxiliary, does not make sense to you, so it just looks like random ridiculousness to you.

    Now, as understanding as our breed can be, it isn't exactly fun to have someone look down on you for how you work. You are btw experiencing to a certain degree the same thing from our side. I have trouble understanding how someone could *not* see all the angles on something, how they could not see that each person has their own merits in their own differently unique way (I normally try to curb that a little, but didnt in this case for that unfortunately my Ne did the same as yours and went off the cuff)

    I find that the way to get along with INTPs is often by building a bridge through that Ne. You do have some, and it is fun to banter, toy and tinker with
    Also, it helps to realize that the other person has different insights which can be intriguing. Granted, you'll have to trust their insights, especially as Fi is probably about the most obscure function to you (as Ti is to us btw, so it demands trust from our side as well!), so vet the results first that they achieve to see if their 'airheaded' ways actually pay off to see if there is something there

    Similarly, you'll want a girl to be open to your way of logically constructing and your us odd and incomplete way... of valuing people. ENFPs normally want to know how a person ticks and why they would do something so if you find one willing to put aside her own preferences to take a look at yours, you're good. Meanwhile use your logical deductive skills to see what her way of working objectively yields and contributes to the world - how it is different from your way of being, then appreciate the hell out of it - even if it does NOT make sense to you. Give credit where credit is due - we'll return the favour, I promise (and if we don't, realize it is within your rights to point that out!)

    Here is a small test

    Lastly, ENFJs speak the same language you do (TiFe), hence the recommendation. They will still give you that fluffy, warm thing you want from us, but they will understand why you value people the way you do (and even help you with it, as it is their strength) and look up to your mad logical skill as something to aspire to (Ti) as that is their inferior function and weakness. messy Ti/Fi turf battles

  2. #132
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp
    SLI None


    Quote Originally Posted by Typhus View Post
    Metaphorically speaking.
    I'm INTP and I've felt the magnetic pull that only ENFPs seem to have over me. But I scare away most of them. I'm not mean or creepy so why do you run away? I'm just weird. Am I giving off some creepy vibes? I checked the mirror and I don't have an evil pulsating green boil that on my forehead.
    - are you attractive? do you care of yourself?
    - are you comfortable discussing feelings and passions?
    - are you comfortable with intense intimacy?
    - can you hold a decent conversation? (you don't have to be a conversational expert, just enough for it to feel nature)
    - do you readily show affection to close intimates?

    if you answered no to any of these, there's a place to start. good luck mate!

    ENFPs, how do your perceive INTPs? I'm outgoing and clownish for an INTP.
    generally I see them as
    - nihilistic
    - overanalyzing/overly technical
    - seemingly lacking genitalia

    but more self aware INTPs are cool. they're intelligent, make good conversation and know how to put a cap on their overanalyzing tendencies
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  3. #133
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    7W6 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Fixed for convenience.
    I'm glad you settled on INFJ.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #134
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010



    for my intp and i:

    love the partnership we have.
    and how he knows exactly what
    i mean. even though my thoughts
    are still tangled in my head.

    the connection. oh man. one look.
    one glance. one squeeze of the hand.
    a giggle, a snort, a chuckle. oh man
    oh man. the flow. we both just. get it.

    addicted to how he sees the world, and how
    that adds so much delight and surprise to my
    own worldviews.

    and that Thor looks almost as good as him.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  5. #135
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    5w4 sx/sp
    ILI Te


    Quote Originally Posted by Typhus View Post
    Why are ENFJs theoretically ideal for INTPs? Js tend to be controlling and that pisses me off. (Ironic isn't it?)
    I think the "ideal" type for INTPs is actually ENTJs, but it's not really important. The dominant thinking preference is more important than the orientation. Just as for an INTJ, ENTP is theoretically a better fit than ESFP. But whatever works. I just don't think you should be using type to filter people out in the first place. Just get to know somebody you like, and then worry about her type, so that you can make the relationship most effective.
    You lose.


    Respectful Leader

    Johari Window|Nohari Window

  6. #136
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Quote Originally Posted by Typhus View Post
    ENFJs are fine, but something deep in me is turned of by Js.
    Then don't date them. You got 8 perceivers and 8 judgers to choose from.
    Elementary arithmetic--remove the useless ones.
    Start by putting those pesky ENFPs on the "pay-no-mind" list.

    And ENFPs are the exact same as ENFJs, except they're less overt in their manipulation.
    They put on that great big bullshit smile and tell you what you want to hear.

    Then you get a knife in the back. You have been warned.

    For you sir, I'd recommend ENTPs.
    Ne+Ti mindmeld and they often find your INTP "nerdiness" kind of cute.

  7. #137


    I've crushed on a few INTPs! I have a thing for quirky NTs. I always envisioned myself being the girlfriend of an NF or an SP, but I'm dating an SJ. So it depends on the person.

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