[ENFP] How to Ceaselessly String Along an ENFP

[Dom]

I enjoyed using my ENFP wife for sex for almost 2 whole years. But I guess I complimented her too much and didn't insult her enough, because she eventually got tired of me.

But actually, I was the one who didn't want to accept that the relationship was over, I literally begged for her to stay and not leave the family that we created, and she left anyway. Thankfully, because of my oh-so-practical SP attitude, I was able to eventually forgive her.

I think ENFPs do tend to hang about a bit longer, even after they realised it's all over; we bend. We want to be sure it's done and not just one of those times where the feelings wear off for awhile but normally return. However, once we hav made our minds up, it can come as a shock and we do tend to follow through. People often get supprised when the hitherto compromising enfp finally snaps backing into shape and refuses to bend for you again.

I'm sorry your marriage ended, especially as you have a family, I hope she explained why and how she felt she had tried to put it right before walking out?

Also I think this appeal people make to family is misguided, frankly the most important thing that holds two people together, whether parents together or not, is their own relationship. It seems people forget to make an effort to stay in love, and then appeal to the family when what the other person probably wants/needs to hear is how they are the centre of YOUR universe, not your kids... they probably already know that.

 

[Fuent]

This is ridiculous. Must be a joke.

 

[Amargith]

Stringing along an ENFP after the emotional connection has gone is like knocking on the door when no ones home. You can use your key to get in, but the house itself will be empty.

 

[Lady_X]

 

[Laurie]

Actually there is partial truths in the entire thing. (nice necro thread)

The thing that is missing is that you can do this with any personality type. So you take some weaknesses and say it makes the enfp stringable. Weaknesses are also strengths, it could be rewritten to be extremely positive toward an enfp.

"Sex is really intense and the ENFP puts everything into it because they see it with depth"

"Don't go expecting good sex from an ISTJ because everything to them is just bland" <-- I can do this for any personality type you would like

It's all in how you write it.

The REAL Personality Types Made Relevant

 

[Lady_X]

elaur...that link is hilarious.

and i know i don't like to end relationships with people...but that's why i haven't had many. just a few really long ones...but screw that...insults and an attempt to control in anyway will cut that emotional tie right off. i know how to flip that emotion switch and i certainly will if you show me you're not worth it...so

 

[JocktheMotie]

They often spend their leisure time engaged in role-playing games, having pillow fights that lead to wild, lustful lesbian orgies...

I knew it.

 

[Lady_X]

I knew it.

what are you trying to say!? haha

 

[wolfy]

what are you trying to say!? haha

He's trying to say he'd like to see a bunch of ENFPs having a pillow fight.
You never know where a girl-fight might lead...

 

[Lady_X]

you silly boys with your imaginations

 

[alexx]

Hey! Me too!

 

[Lady_X]

Hey! Me too!

i know right!? screw you op!

 

[Moiety]

I wonder what's the OPs type...

 

[Lady_X]

me too...are they even still here?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Judging by avatar I'd go with a bitter INTj, or an INTj with terrible comedic delivery*.





































* Which is basically all of them, but still.

 

[Lady_X]

i thought intj also...but i don't know enough about them to trust my instinct.

 

[CzeCze]

2nd try

I repleid to this before but I realize my answer was really generalized and didn't answer the OP directly about ENFPs. So here we go!

1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them.

You know, I am a masochist! I definitely have a high tolerance for what is considered 'drama'. But to me, it's just skits and giggles. I'm always able to see my situation objectively and know how other people would see it, even as another part of me is actually involved.

I can laugh when people say things that are insulting if they are in fact, funny.

Now, get on my bad side, and it's over. What's insulting and disrespectful to you may not be to me. Loss of respect is usually thoughtless -- the person respects you so little they don't even consciously mean to disrespect you their opinion of you really is that low.

If I feel you disrespect me, it is OVER.

It's true, eventually I may not really care that much anymore about a situation and I know it's over but I can go through the motions or stay in a situation until something better comes along or until the other person ends it.

This is true! I think it's extreme EP flex - it's hard for me to say that anything is over.

I think that's pretty clear for both people involved though that the end is nigh and there aren't hard feelings about it. Adult relationships are complicated, you know?

2. Use them for sex. ENFPs believe sex is a sign of love, in polar opposite to the way NTs think sex is an EXPRESSION of sexual desire.

OMG, I'm gonna guess you are dude and a young and heterosexual one at that.

Who started the stereotype that NF females, particularly ENFP females, are stuck in harlequin romance novels?

No and

3. "Don't be nice to an ENFP out of pity, they will see that as a sign you are getting back together."

This is the case for people in general, no?

It depends for the person if the door has really closed or not. Some people are better than others at closing the door quickly or firmly.

This is the formula for snapping out of it and nailing that sucker shut:

Maturity + Experience + Being Smart = No.

When something is over there's no point kicking the poor dead horsie. You can be nice and even try to woo me back till the cows come home, but I know what time it is! Over is Over is Over. I think even in trad ENFP analyses this is mentioned. It's the Fi - such a cruel and erratic mistress. LOL.

 

[Amargith]

you silly boys with your imaginations

Did we ever organize that pillow fight in the ENFP playground?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Did we ever organize that pillow fight in the ENFP playground?

You ladies should get on that.

 

[Amargith]

You ladies should get on that.

Sigh, we need a J for that...