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[NF] NFPs, are we really as open minded as we think we are?

Elfboy

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descriptions tend to tout Ne, and NFPs in general, as among the most open types and, it's been my observation that, overall, we are....until you get to anything to do with their morals, in which case, our Fi can turn into just about the most closed minded function their is.
for example, I tried an exercise where I contemplated the validity of socialism and, honestly, it was painful. I absolutely hate considering alternatives to my strong convictions. obviously, it's not as simple as "I'm good; you're evil!" but, if I were to be honest with myself, in my mind, I sometimes want it to be that way. sometimes I wish real life was as simple as a storybook where I'm the hero and my enemies are the scourge of evil and this can, at times, lead to self righteous, closed minded and antagonizing behavior.

does anyone else feel this way? I felt compelled to post this because I've observed a lot of NFPs who can be VERY closed minded even if they lack the self awareness to see it

PS: this could also have something to do with having 1w9 as my gut fix.
 

Tyrinth

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I can kind of... simulate... open-mindedness. I can very easily see another person's perspective, but if it conflicts with a value there's no way I'm truly going to be open to it.

So I guess if I have no deeply held value on something I can be open minded, but if I do... Well, then I can see their perspective, but I'm just wasting time.

Paraphrasing something I said before, since I can't find it to quote... "I can see things from your perspective; your perspective is just wrong." That kind of sums it up. :laugh:

Edit: For the record, I try not to be that way when I can help it, but when I take a stance on an issue, that's usually how I end up.
 

Elfboy

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I can kind of... simulate... open-mindedness. I can very easily see another person's perspective, but if it conflicts with a value there's no way I'm truly going to be open to it.
So I guess if I have no deeply held value on something I can be open minded, but if I do... Well, then I can see their perspective, but I'm just wasting time.
Paraphrasing something I said before, since I can't find it to quote... "I can see things from your perspective; your perspective is just wrong." That kind of sums it up. :laugh:
Edit: For the record, I try not to be that way when I can help it, but when I take a stance on an issue, that's usually how I end up.

that's a brilliant way of putting it. I can easily see the logical reasons why someone would hold an opposing view, but at the end of the day, if it goes against my beliefs...fuck the evidence :laugh:
I've gotten a little better about this, to the point where I can at least see someone else's view as valid, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually changed my deepest convictions.
 

_eric_

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Yeah, I can confirm that it's very common among NFPs I've seen, including my ex-girlfriend, who is an INFP. ;)

I still love you all though! :wubbie:

As for myself, I do have plenty of strong positions on things, but if I see enough legitimate evidence to the contrary, I have no problem with adjusting what I think.
 

Thursday

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No. That Fi-Si really anchors you in. My friends and family know me as impossible to move once settled on a subject or a thing. My mother was an INFP and she had two modes - wanting something and then having something. She quit drugs and cigarettes cold turkey because of this aspect of her psyche. Then again, it also leads to addictions.
 

Standuble

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I used to think I was open minded but for the last few years I have been aware and relatively content that I am not. The NFP moral system is a dictatorship and the the values which Fi has approved of are essentially "God." If the Fi approves of and sees value in new learning, new ideas and finding out why what is valued may not be the best way then the NFP can become open minded but this lasts until the Fi starts to really value certain ideas which the new insight has brought. Once it does the door to open-mindedness closes. I've been trying to master a way to re-open the door after a relatively short period of it being closed, it's not always easy. Come save me Ne!
 

skylights

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I think I am much more harsh on myself (and my close friends, family, and significant other, by extension) than with others. Generally, if others want to live by their own moral codes, as long as they're not clearly causing harm, I am content watching them lead their lives as they please at a distance. But when it comes to myself and my close associates, I am much more intolerant of behavior that I find not-quite-right.

And yes, I can get incredibly stubborn if I think someone's behavior is clearly causing harm.

Elfboy said:
I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually changed my deepest convictions.

This, too.
 

jryn1993

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My experience with NFP types has been that they are pretty easy to bring around to my point of view. Although I'm pretty sure my sister is ENFP, so maybe I just subconsciously learned how to manipulate that mindset.
 

William K

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I think I'm open-minded externally and close-minded internally.

In other words, I can tolerate a lot of what other people do, even if I won't think of behaving that way myself. "Live and let live" and all that. Internally however, I feel that it's hard for people to change my mind when I have it set on something. Convincing me to change an internal 'value' would be like trying to drag a stubborn mule :D

On the other hand, I tend to be conservative when it comes to trying new things. I enjoy the familiar and routine a lot, so getting me to change those things can be tough too. Oh, I can go along with a group of friends and do fun things, but really that's kind of like simulating open-mindedness as [MENTION=14786]Tyrinth[/MENTION] calls it :)
 

chickpea

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I don't consider myself that open-minded but I also try to accept/understand people even if I disagree with them. basically I keep my judgements to myself, I don't try to change people and I'd prefer the same courtesy.
 

BlueScreen

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Not sure if I'm a typical ENFP but I figure I'm open minded to and accepting of most things. Curiousity tends to rule when something different or new comes along. The main exception to open mindedness seems to be when someone is telling me to change who I am, to do something or that something is a certain way. Then something internal resists strongly.
 

dieValkyrie

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I think the term "open-minded" gets applied usually to people who easily accept things like same-sex relationships and unorthodox beliefs and different types of sexualities, identities, cultures, and lifestyles, rather than to people who are easily swayed by outside viewpoints.

People who are marginalized by society often feel very comfortable with me because as a long as a person isn't hurting someone else with their actions and behavior I see no reason to judge them. Also, since I'm a pretty caring person I really sympathize with people who just want to be themselves and so I treat them better than they're used to by others.

Really though, I'm pretty close-minded. I never compromise my morals, it just so happens that my morality makes me very open to connecting with things often viewed as negative or dangerous by society, since I have such issues with society in general. If society says a person is bad because of something that doesn't hurt anyone, I'm going to very partial to the individual and inclined to side with them because I see such huge moral issues with our society.

As someone mentioned though I'm really good at simulating an open mind and projecting myself into another person's position, but that information still gets sifted through my value system.
 

pinkgraffiti

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EXACTLY. and i love you for being so much to the point. :)

(great thread elfboy. its an issue i've thought about often)
I can kind of... simulate... open-mindedness. I can very easily see another person's perspective, but if it conflicts with a value there's no way I'm truly going to be open to it.
 

Stanton Moore

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Well, this is how I see it: I never impose my beliefs on others, unless they are in danger of hurting themself, or another, in some way. I consider an open mind to be a social obligation, which I gladly adopt. Beyond that, I am not often interested in changing others' minds. Having said that, my beliefs are in a 'black box', and are not amenable to change for any reason except new information from the world that must be incorporated in order to stay on course, so to speak. I have a rock solid ethical center, and will stand up for another if I see them being abused, by anyone, anywhere.
 

Aesthete

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Open-minded? Not really. If an idea comes my way and I don't like it, though I can see evidence for it, I generally like to stick with what I have; I'll ruminate on it for quite a while before finally accepting it as the truth - and, even then, it still has to fit into the old framework. I have well-developed codes for what the world should be like - everything being connected to everything else, so it's sometimes hard to explain where I'm coming from - and it really upsets me that it isn't so.

I can seem open-minded, though: somebody could bring up an idea and I'll try to pretend what they said holds some truth. However, if they start pushing it, I'll tell them everything that's wrong with their idea (unless I see some advantage in being silent). I guess that's it: we have Fi, so it doesn't really show itself to everybody - only to our close friends and family - so we can seem to be fine with everything, but we really aren't.
 

William K

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Yeah, I'm a judgmental bitch though I hide it well.

Yup. People seem to misinterpret an INFP's commonly non-confrontational, unassertive reaction as neutrality or even tacit agreement
 
R

Riva

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I don't think so. Sadly I have to elaborate don't I? Can we simply stick to the functions?

Si and Fi would be counter to being open minded - which I do believe I don't have to elaborate on. Unlike NTPs who'd take information in and deal it with Ti, NFPs deal it with Fi. So there you have it.

On the other-hand Se users go with the flow - this applies to even NJs. They take information as it comes and changes their perspective on things if the Se brings in more information.

So theoretically SJs and NFPs should be the least open minded of all types and ISTJs (due Si and Fi) leading the way.

---

In their defense they would however be open to emotional reason behind a totally opposite point of view due to Fi. They might not agree but they will try to accept/respect.

So if you wish to change the mind of a stubborn judgmental NFP bitch the best thing to do might be to convince them how personally you feel about something they disagree with. You can also lie. As long as you sound sincere they'd fall for it.

Can an NFP confirm the last two paras?
 

King sns

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I think I am open minded on a more vague level, you know, understanding stuff that goes on in general and why people may think a certain way or things could happen a certain way. Sometimes when I come face to face or emotionally involved with stuff that goes right out the window.
 

Elfboy

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I don't think so. Sadly I have to elaborate don't I? Can we simply stick to the functions?
Si and Fi would be counter to being open minded - which I do believe I don't have to elaborate on. Unlike NTPs who'd take information in and deal it with Ti, NFPs deal it with Fi. So there you have it.
On the other-hand Se users go with the flow - this applies to even NJs. They take information as it comes and changes their perspective on things if the Se brings in more information.
So theoretically SJs and NFPs should be the least open minded of all types and ISTJs (due Si and Fi) leading the way.

---

In their defense they would however be open to emotional reason behind a totally opposite point of view due to Fi. They might not agree but they will try to accept/respect.

So if you wish to change the mind of a stubborn judgmental NFP bitch the best thing to do might be to convince them how personally you feel about something they disagree with. You can also lie. As long as you sound sincere they'd fall for it.
Can an NFP confirm the last two paras?

confirmed.except for the strike. we see through that shit and will forever view you as deceptive snake if you attempt to do so.
Ne is open minded but
- Fi: judgmental as hell
- Te: open minded as long as you have evidence. also the guard dog of Fi, who sicks it on it's enemies
- Si: not open minded at all "this is how it is and that's that"

so, in other words, you might say "NFPs are open minded.....unless it's something important to them"
 
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