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[NF] INFP vs. INFJ

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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The INFP and INFJ can a number of things in common, but what are the most telling differences between the two types? How are they most different socially, intellectually, and emotionally? How would you contrast the way the INFJ vs. the INFP approaches information and learning? Which type is more stand-offish, which connects more quickly with friends? Which type is more reclusive? Which type shows more emotion, which one recluses when processing emotion?
 

heart

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I would say INFP recluses when processing. My husband always needs to talk and talk when he is processing or stressed and it is stressful at times for me because when I need to process I need to be quiet. Even things like car repairs, he wants to talk every detail out with me, says that is the only way he can really think about it.

I would say INFP needs more sentimental emotion and cuddling and stuff like that. But on first glance INFJ will seem warmer and more needy and more open, but as time passes and INFP opens fully, its INFP who wants more emotion from SO and close friends.
 

Kiddo

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INFP moral compass versus INFJ ethical principles.
 

awy

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I used to be INFP because my J was underdeveloped. Or rather I was INFJ but I didn't know it. Sometimes I still wonder if I'm correct.

INFPs are much more optimistic.

How are they most different socially, intellectually, and emotionally?

Intellectually, INFJs are more philosophical and more realistic about their ideals. Focused on justice. Like the idea of a 'poetic justice' than forgiveness. Punishing those who did wrong, by a higher power/karma sort of thing.

Socially, INFPs are more mellow, laid-back socially.

Emotionally, INFJs are more aggressive, not in a bad way, just more certain.

That's from what I know between me and my INFP friend. I could be wrong.
 

heart

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INFJs have plans in life.

That comment shows a misunderstanding of external and internal judgement. ;)


For laughs:

Here's a negative view between INFP and INFJ, are you a otherworldly crank (INFJ) or a self deluded dreamer (INFP)?
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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INFP moral compass versus INFJ ethical principles.
Could you expand on that. I'm not certain of the distinction between the two, but it could well be fundamentally important.
 

Nadir

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Currently I feel unable to express my thoughts coherently (or rather, my thoughts themselves resemble breadcrumbs that must be collected together) but I think I might be able to add something about the showing emotion issue... and the social. I'm an INFX relating more to the J than the P.

I have a good friend who I believe is an INFP. He's not very emotionally expressive unless he's with his closest friends and confidants. In most other cases, he gives off a stronger introverted and self-absorbed vibe than most people I've seen and observed -- also me. I on the other hand, simply need to ease myself into a new social enviroment (easier said than done, though) before I can be expressive -- it's even better if I have "anchors", meaning acquaintances, smoothing the process. To simplify what I mean by all this... we both have the potential to be bubbly, serotonin-trigger-happy "laughers" (I'm very fond of laughing), but he needs a higher familiarity and trust threshold to enter that mode.

The above does not, however, mean that he's more stand-offish of us two. I used to be classmates with him (though it should be kept in mind that we were 17 at the time), and during the break-times where we occasionally weren't talking, or spending time together, he was simply self absorbed with doodling, writing, and the like... whereas I was closer to the window pane in the classroom just watching adolescents act as the social creatures they are, and pretty much stand-offish as you get, though I did not find people repulsive or repel them. So you could say that we're both reclusive in our own ways -- I, for example, am occasionally described to be cold and "metallic in emotion" despite being overall more expressive and closer to bubbly.

As for friend making, I think we were both pretty equal in that realm. I'm told that I usually project an air of calmness, for instance -- this was also true in his case, and amplified by his introversion. There isn't much to say about this, after all I'm giving a pair of (by now) young adults' accounts, friendships for us pretty much cropped up by themselves whenever they did and we encountered thought patterns similar to our own in other people.

The moral compass / social ethic issue should be addressed... here's my two bits. Call it my Fe developing, or whatever, but nowadays I frequently find myself more sensitive to how people treat each other and communicate with each other. I've frequently told some other friends of mine off for not communicating healthily with each other or making unfair judgments on each other, An ISP friend, for instance, is particularly fond of doing that, and I find myself trying to tell him about the importance of healthy discussion at a developmental stage where he would rather not care about such fineries and get on with swearing.

All of the above is something that I feel my INFP friend would not do. And yet I feel my ISP friend would, almost subconsciously, alter his communication patterns in his presence. (it should be said of course that the ISP friend of mine also used to be classmates with my INFP friend) This is because I feel the Fi moral compass, while not being direct, has a certain influence on other people despite being a strictly internal faculty. Thus it would seem that both F functions serve social purposes. Also, Fi's sensitivity goes the distance. I've seen him moved to despair, near tears, by some of the darker things we have glimpsed in the enviroments we have been, where I would be either cynical, saddened or outraged. This is because he concentrates of the implications of what he has seen. On the other hand, I'm far more hurt/saddened by offenses directly aimed at my person or close friends, (like when I was teased, again in high school), and concentrate on the implications of those, whereas he finds that sort of thing disgusting.

I feel I could type more, but not now. Hope this has been helpful. Of course, I should add -- I might be entirely off and perhaps I'm the INFP and he's the INFJ. ;)
 

heart

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nadir said:
This is because I feel the Fi moral compass, while not being direct, has a certain influence on other people despite being a strictly internal faculty.

Yes, Fi can feel oppressive to others. I am told this by some people, when I am not trying to put any sort of vibes out there, they say I do. I can walk into a room and immediately, a stranger (usually someone who seems Te or Fe) has a problem with me and I think it is the same sort of thing.

I can have more an effect on my husband by feeling something strongly internally than speaking to him on it.
 

Nadir

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Yes, Fi can feel oppressive to others. I am told this by some people, when I am not trying to put any sort of vibes out there, they say I do. I can walk into a room and immediately, a stranger (usually someone who seems Te or Fe) has a problem with me and I think it is the same sort of thing.

I can have more an effect on my husband by feeling something strongly internally than speaking to him on it.

I wasn't actually thinking of oppression when I said that -- that seems rather negative -- it was really closer to a description of presence. He does not get people moving by just being there, and perhaps this is all because I know him well, but I think he has this kindly? emotional aura that very subtly nudges others to watch their words.
 

proteanmix

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Yes, Fi can feel oppressive to others. I am told this by some people, when I am not trying to put any sort of vibes out there, they say I do. I can walk into a room and immediately, a stranger (usually someone who seems Te or Fe) has a problem with me and I think it is the same sort of thing.

I can have more an effect on my husband by feeling something strongly internally than speaking to him on it.

I wouldn't call it oppressive but Fi does emit a certain heaviness. I think Nadir describes it pretty well or at least the way I've experienced it. It's more of an automatic snap back in line simply based on the FP (I've only noticed this in IFPs) rather than explicit correction from an FJ.
 

nolla

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I feel my ISP friend would, almost subconsciously, alter his communication patterns in his presence. This is because I feel the Fi moral compass, while not being direct, has a certain influence on other people despite being a strictly internal faculty.

I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place :). I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

*goes out disapproving people*
 

heart

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I wasn't actually thinking of oppression when I said that -- that seems rather negative -- it was really closer to a description of presence. He does not get people moving by just being there, and perhaps this is all because I know him well, but I think he has this kindly? emotional aura that very subtly nudges others to watch their words.

Well, I wasn't really ascribing a negative connotation to it either, just that it can reach out beyond the person to affect others.

EDIT: I think Jung is the one who used the word "oppressive" in relation to Fi first, I will have to check to see.
 

anii

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INFPs are better drivers, INFJs better housekeepers.
 

Nadir

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I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place :). I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

*goes out disapproving people*

That, in turn, reminded me of an occasion where my INFP friend disapproved of something I was doing. I was walking with a person he didn't like -- disapproved of. The thing is -- I used to disapprove of, and even dislike that person as well, but eventually let that slide, and now that person is another acquaintance of mine. My INFP friend isn't like that -- once he disapproves of, or dislikes someone, (doesn't happen very easily for both of us) it takes some proactive persuasion from other parties for him to let go -- he can be quite set in his ways where that is concerned --, whereas I just forgive people over time and give them second chances, attempt to reconcile differences and find common ground, stuff like that.

Anyway, about his disapproval of my walking, and here's the most important part -- it only take a look from him for me to understand. We both have the potential to "stare" someone, but he does it far more effectively than me, because I know the moral compass to be there and right now it's pointing accusatorily towards me -- and it's all in his eyes.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place :). I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

*goes out disapproving people*
Ha. There have been a few occasions where someone has told me they thought I was disapproving when nothing was further from my mind. That is a bit demoralizing. It's like meta-judgementalism or something - being judged for judging what you didn't judge. :(

I think maybe it is the heavy withdrawn thing they see in me combined with the other person's own ideas about what they should be doing.
 

heart

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INFPs are better drivers, INFJs better housekeepers.

Actually it is the reverse here. I get motion sick, husband has poor Se, cannot navigate household chores well. My Te has to bridge the gaps. He can clean but needs to be led in it or he feel overwhelmed. He is more picky about how clean the place is, but less effective at actually cleaning!

nadir said:
My INFP friend isn't like that -- once he disapproves of, or dislikes someone, (doesn't happen very easily for both of us) it takes some proactive persuasion from other parties for him to let go -- he can be quite set in his ways where that is concerned --, whereas I just forgive people over time and give them second chances, attempt to reconcile differences and find common ground, stuff like that.

Will proactive persuasion actually work on him? I really don't deal well when people try to do this with me.
 

nolla

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Anyway, about his disapproval of my walking, and here's the most important part -- it only take a look from him for me to understand. We both have the potential to "stare" someone, but he does it far more effectively than me, because I know the moral compass to be there and right now it's pointing accusatorily towards me -- and it's all in his eyes.

I find this quite annoying sometimes. If I think something bad about someone and he walks by, I can't really look at him because I know I'm too easy to read. But I have to look at him because it would be even more awkward not to look at him. And then he is being disapproved and I'll try to avoid walking around that neighborhood for a while so that when after a few months I bumb into him in a store or something I can be like "hey, what's up, its been a long time!"

:)
 

Nadir

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Will proactive persusation actually work on him? I really don't deal well when people try to do this with me.

When I need to do that, I am careful to not invalidate existing opinion and stance on a person. I acknowledge it -- because usually the reasons make sense. I try to offer some different view points from which to consider the situation... or, for example try to describe the person who I'm trying to exonerate as I see him/her. Of course this isn't like mathematics or a chemical reaction, with guaranteed results, but it can be helpful and a healthy way of discussing the matter at hand.
 
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