[MBTI General] infp-istp relations

[WALMART]

Are we doomed to loathe each other?


I don't feel Fi/Ne and Ti/Se play nice.

 

[tkae.]

I see the ISTP stereotype as being a little shallow, but fully appreciate the deep mental capacity that runs underneath the impulsive, adrenaline junkie exterior.

If there wasn't a consistency issue, I'd totally date an ISTP. Y'all are hot

Going back to my appreciation for your mental capacities, if life were a video game and I was pitted against each MBTI type as a final boss, you guys would be in the Top 4 somewhere. And it got split into a game with teams like kickball, you'd be one of my top choices. You're competent, get shit done, act independently yet can fit your own actions into the larger strategy, plus you're ruthless when it comes to winning. Not like us feelers at all. I see you guys like bouncers of the kickball team, playing nice until someone tries to steal home, then you shove the kickball through their faces and down their throats.

If I was playing against you guys on a team, knocking you out of the game through injury would be high on my list of priorities.

Does any of this answer your question?

 

[Southern Kross]

I don't think we would have particular problems.

My dad's an ISTP and he and I connect over our silly sense of humour. We also are kinda laid-back, hands off types - you know, live and let live - which means our interactions are very relaxed with neither wishing to force an issue. I also like his calmness and how it defuses tension.

I'm not sure about how it would work in a romantic relationship but I think mutual respect can go a long way. I do acknowledge Ti and Fi can really clash at times but if both types are healthy, it can be overcome.

 

[WALMART]

I see the ISTP stereotype as being a little shallow, but fully appreciate the deep mental capacity that runs underneath the impulsive, adrenaline junkie exterior.

If there wasn't a consistency issue, I'd totally date an ISTP. Y'all are hot

Going back to my appreciation for your mental capacities, if life were a video game and I was pitted against each MBTI type as a final boss, you guys would be in the Top 4 somewhere. And it got split into a game with teams like kickball, you'd be one of my top choices. You're competent, get shit done, act independently yet can fit your own actions into the larger strategy, plus you're ruthless when it comes to winning. Not like us feelers at all. I see you guys like bouncers of the kickball team, playing nice until someone tries to steal home, then you shove the kickball through their faces and down their throats.

If I was playing against you guys on a team, knocking you out of the game through injury would be high on my list of priorities.

Does any of this answer your question?

Consistency issue?


So, coupled with this post and the one below, it is not an inherent disaster waiting to happen. My only substantiated claims have been between myself and my sister, and myself and her friend. They are both INFP's... I think the brother-sister dynamic is more at play than istp-infp.


It is good to know INFP's can hold such opinions of us, though

I don't think we would have particular problems.

My dad's an ISTP and he and I connect over our silly sense of humour. We also are kinda laid-back, hands off types - you know, live and let live - which means our interactions are very relaxed with neither wishing to force an issue. I also like his calmness and how it defuses tension.

I'm not sure about how it would work in a romantic relationship but I think mutual respect can go a long way. I do acknowledge Ti and Fi can really clash at times but if both types are healthy, it can be overcome.

I am re-evaluating my post. It was kind of made in a moment of quick contemplation, I think, but this is helping work out the kinks.

 

[Amargith]

*puts on INFP-hat* Never really had that issue..

Granted, there has to be a mutual sense of curiosity and respect as we are *so* different, as the function order demonstrates. But there is a certain fascination and mystique that comes with that, as well as an utter respect for each others strengths, normally. Communication...can be hard, yes. But as long as both parties give each other the benefit of the doubt, it can be minimised.

For that matter, I fight with NTPs a lot more as they tend to *think* they get what I mean and berate me for expressing myself so poorly (and i have the same problem with them when it comes to Fi shit), which makes me wanna pummel them for being such blind morons at times. It's the shared Ne..it doesnt help that that thing jumps over the important shit and fills it in with its own garbage

The fact that STPs feel *so* alien to me means that I'm more likely to watch my step when using Ne and not assume I know what the STP means. And usually..if they give me the light of day, it means they are somewhat willing, for the time being, to do the same, as my 'weirdness' tends to either repulse them or attract them. And STPs, ime, tend to be very much like:'Ok, *this* I don't know shit about. Teach me, coz I need to know.' A very humble streak on an otherwise very cocky breed

The ones that aren't up for that automatically steer clear from me and vice versa, as we do share a lot of other things...like valuing personal space and freedom, as well as free choice to do what one wants. The only time that tends to go wrong is when the NFP perceives the STP to be harming others with their free choice and the STP goes: 'yeah...and?'
Similarly, an unwilling and resentful STP having to clean up your shit coz of whatever insecurity you are experiencing is going to be...well not pleasant in the backlash-department.

 

[entropie]

Are we doomed to loathe each other?


I don't feel Fi/Ne and Ti/Se play nice.

infp's can have relationships with every type. Its because they talk so little about themselves that the universe knows virtually nothing about them (tho I have to say in defense of dom Fi users that the moment they finally start to spit out wall of texts about themselves, I usually answers tl;dr)

 

[Xann]

You personally seem to be one of the easiest to get along with istp's for this infp. It might be because you have experience with infps previously though, while it seems many istps don't.

 

[chickpea]

i've been dating one for over a year. we're not perfect but we generally get along well and understand each other. his mom kinda gives me an ENFP vibe so maybe that has something to do with it.

one possibly type-related problem we have is that when i want to complain or vent about something, he doesn't get that i just want somebody to listen and tries to offer practical advice on how to fix the problem which is the last thing i want sometimes.

 

[sulfit]

Are we doomed to loathe each other?

I don't feel Fi/Ne and Ti/Se play nice.

Kinda. According to this intertype relations chart these two types are in superego relations which are uncomfortable.

 

[RaptorWizard]

I know an INFP 4w5 sp/sx, who absolutely hates conflict of any kind, and generally likes people to have the liberty of going with their own flow.

Unless of course a sacred value is violated, and then of course this individual goes into rage mode, especially in regard to domineering ETJs.

Though of course this is directed at the low level individuals of those types, so I guess kind of like with ISTP, an INFP will let you do your own thing, unless like I said you cross the line.

 

[skylights]

Ditto Amargith, NFP/STP usually seems easier than NFP/NTP... my brother is ISTP and it's like she said about recognition of very different thought processes. We rarely think similarly, but we often end up at the same conclusion, and it's useful to have each others' perspectives. I think it would also relate to how heavy the dominants are. If one is super-Ti and one is super-Fi there will probably be more disagreement.

But I think there's also a certain degree of understanding in any IxxP / IxxJ / ExxP / ExxJ pair. All IxxPs will generally share a preference for calm, independence, and low drama.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I get along pretty well with INFPs. The ones I like, I like immediately. I appreciate their gentleness, good humor, laid back nature. I can almost immediately trust them as they have no pretense about them. Something I really appreciate in dealing with people.

The ones I don't like, that's immediate too. Too sensitive, do as i say not as i do approach to life, or preachy doesn't go over well. And they don't particularly like me either.

 

[WALMART]

Kinda. According to this intertype relations chart these two types are in superego relations which are uncomfortable.

I get along pretty well with INFPs. The ones I like, I like immediately. I appreciate their gentleness, good humor, laid back nature. I can almost immediately trust them as they have no pretense about them. Something I really appreciate in dealing with people.

The ones I don't like, that's immediate too. Too sensitive, do as i say not as i do approach to life, or preachy doesn't go over well. And they don't particularly like me either.

"Do as I say not as I do approach to life." That particularly strikes a chord in me on my intentions when creating this thread. I honestly think I am an anti-idealist. Is there a word for that?


Reading responses from the familiar faces in this thread, I can see that it is the level of psychological health in an individual I am concerned with, not their MBTI status. Thanks for the responses.

 

[sculpting]

ENFP perspective (Just in case it is of added value in some way...another data point)

I was with an ISTP for many years and it was a fairly peaceful interaction. We never fought-we still dont ever fight. At worst, we would get a little snappy and the shell up and go to our seperate corners.

However if I expressed strong Fi values about an ideal....he would almost always read it badly as an Fe expression of judgement against him or whoever I was talking about. This happened very, very rarely, but it did crop up from time to time.

I didnt invite him into my inner world, nor me into his, but we both gave one another freedom to pursue those things externally and dint seek to control the other. He would ride bikes all of them time and I would would do whatever crazy thing I wanted (once I made my own light up christmas lawn ornaments-including a giant dancing shiva). When younger, I think my energy and unfiltered talk would embarress him a bit around his friends, but as he got older he would just tell them I was smart but kinda crazy, which was far better than stupid.

I didnt understand how to deal with IXTP depression at all though and that was part of what led us to break up-he was in a very depressive state and he needed to re-find is way onto a new path. We get along great now-I invited him and his new ife and babay on our last vacation.

 

[tkae.]

Consistency issue?

It's an STP thing, as far as I know.

You act logically in the moment according to variables that we don't necessarily see as significant, which causes you (from our perspective) to be inconsistent. I like to figure people out so I can assess them as threats or friends or best friends or whatever. I like having a general gist of how people will react. That's harder with STPs, who can respond so quickly to changing scenarios and redirect their effort that it confuses us.

Think of it like this: you're a boat captain and I'm a passenger. You have a sonar that lets you see that there's extremely shallow water that can't be seen from the water surface. So you're turning the boat all over the place navigating shallow water and I'm staring at you like you're either drunk or insane, cause all I see is you turning the boat avoiding imaginary obstacles. It's not so much an actual inconsistency issue as a problem with pinpointing why you do things in a given moment.

All of that said, when I trust that an ISTP is competent and has my best interest in mind, I'm much more likely to defer to their judgement about things without much explanation. That, or I just see them as protectors in general, even though sometimes I'll ignore their advice because I, in traditional INFP naivety, think I've got everything handled.



But yeah. ISTPs have always been on my list of people I think are insanely sexy. They've got the confidence and capability of ISTJs, but are relaxed enough for me to actually get along with in an actual relationship, at least theoretically

 

[Randomnity]

It's an STP thing, as far as I know.

You act logically in the moment according to variables that we don't necessarily see as significant, which causes you (from our perspective) to be inconsistent. I like to figure people out so I can assess them as threats or friends or best friends or whatever. I like having a general gist of how people will react.

That's weird - I would say the exact same thing but about F types. To me it's more far consistent to act according to the circumstances according to a consistent rationale rather than acting in a Fi way that appears random/without a rationale to me (I'm sure there is one, it's just not obvious to outsiders as Fi tends to be hidden). I guess our Ti rationale can be hidden from you in the same way (but if you ask, we will usually be more than happy to explain!)

I think any two types can get along, but individual differences can change that - so there are definitely some istps that can happily date infps, but I don't think I'm one of them, since I much prefer people who are more similar to me. I prefer a more understanding rather than challenging relationship. That said, I've had good first dates with enfps and dated an isfp for years, so maybe my real-life experience would be different from my theorizing and I just haven't met the right infp yet. I would not dump someone because I found out their type was theoretically a bad match - that's moronic, IMO.

My mom is infp and with her and other infps I've met IRL, we can be very friendly acquaintances and even joke around together, but neither of us really "gets" the other and sometimes that's painfully obvious.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

We never fought-we still dont ever fight. At worst, we would get a little snappy and the shell up and go to our separate corners.... I didn't invite him into my inner world, nor me into his, but we both gave one another freedom to pursue those things externally and didn't seek to control the other.

If you all don't mind me adding my ENFP perspective, I'd like to second what Orobas has said here. My ISTP husband and I hardly ever fight. At most we snap at each other and even that is very, very rare. So my experience has been that ISTP/xNFP relations are very peaceable. By the same token, I don't share parts of my inner world with him. He just wouldn't get my Ne/Fi ruminations. Nor am I privy to his innermost Ti meanderings. (Intense Ti generally gives me a headache so I'm happy not to go into the depths of his Ti with him.) In other words, I rely on my NF friends (not my ISTP) to listen to my NF hopes and dreams.

BTW, my INFP BFF also gets along with my ISTP very peaceably. Nor does she discuss her rich inner world with my ISTP. Based on this anecdotal evidence, I'm going to proffer that there are similarities between INFP/ISTP interactions and ENFP/ISTP interactions.

I'm not sure if the INFP/ISTP is a natural dating pair, however. I can't quite articulate why this might be so, but I don't think the two types would be naturally attracted to each other. I think there might be too much redundant introverted energy there. I think Fi (INFP's lead function) and Ti (ISTP's lead function) would just look right past each other without interacting a whole lot. <- Hope this makes some sense.

 

[jixmixfix]

Infps are nice but they are flakey and weird. They are one of the few types i have trouble understanding even more so then infjs. That being said most of them arent out to kill you you just have to respect their space.

 

[chickpea]

That being said most of them arent out to kill you you just have to respect their space.

no, of course we aren't