[Jungian Cognitive Functions] INFJ or INTJ response to stress?

[alcea rosea]

I've been observing the behavior of this one woman for some time now. She is in a stressfull place and the sterss has been going on for some time now (around 6 months). I "know" that her type is INFJ or INTJ. I was wondering if her response to the stressfull situation is more typical to INFJ's or INTJs.

Her stress behavior:
She has become extremely emotional and gets really big emotional outbursts about things. She is still quite logical but her emotional response is not in line with subjects she talks about (it seems almost like something else is bothering her than what she talks about). She has become extremely picky on details while she is not normally like that (I mean she likes things are "the right way" but she isn't usually picky about details). She is rude to other people even if it's not her normal behavior. It seems that her main point these days is to show how wrong other people are. She isn't usually emotional at all (it's not seen) and she is usually very logical and sees the big picture.

What do you say? Typical stress behavior of INFJ or INTJ?

 

[JocktheMotie]

What’s the source of the stress? Seems from a behavioural point of view, it could certainly be an INTJ Ni-Fi hissy fit or an INFJ trying to regain control. Or another type doing something else. Behaviour and MBTI sometimes aren’t the coziest of bedfellows, as any behaviour can be rationalized to any functional orientation.

 

[alcea rosea]

Work related stress. The persons type is definitely infj or intj. According to theory different types have different responses to stressful situations....?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Work related stress. The persons type is definitely infj or intj. According to theory different types have different responses to stressful situations....?

Cognitively, sure, and while one’s cognition certainly influences behavior it’s not always a perfect tell, is all I’m saying. However, I’m going to contradict what I just said and say it seems ITJ. Fi in the tertiary position tends to make ITJs bitchy under stress. IFJs tend to just sort of shut down.

 

[INTJMom]

I've been observing the behavior of this one woman for some time now. She is in a stressfull place and the sterss has been going on for some time now (around 6 months). I "know" that her type is INFJ or INTJ. I was wondering if her response to the stressfull situation is more typical to INFJ's or INTJs.

Her stress behavior:
She has become extremely emotional and gets really big emotional outbursts about things. She is still quite logical but her emotional response is not in line with subjects she talks about (it seems almost like something else is bothering her than what she talks about). She has become extremely picky on details while she is not normally like that (I mean she likes things are "the right way" but she isn't usually picky about details). She is rude to other people even if it's not her normal behavior. It seems that her main point these days is to show how wrong other people are. She isn't usually emotional at all (it's not seen) and she is usually very logical and sees the big picture.

What do you say? Typical stress behavior of INFJ or INTJ?

I am an INTJ. The biggest difference I find between Ts and Fs when they are having outbursts of anger is that in an F, the outburst is more likely to be a personal attack meant to injure and harm the other person's feelings.

An INTJ would insult someone's intelligence, "what an idiot" whereas the F types I have known, know how to make the dig intensely personal... stabbing you with a knife with YOUR NAME on it.

I surmise this is because the F type is naturally good at "knowing" what I like or what is important to me, and so when they are mad at me, they choose to insult and belittle my most deeply held beliefs or cherished ideas. As far as I know, no "T" I have ever known has ever done that to me.

So it's up to you to decide how "personal" these verbal attacks are.

In Beside Ourselves by Naomi L. Quenk, in the chapter on INTJ/INFJ types under the section called Return of Equilibrium there are several suggestions for helping these 2 types when they are stressed, out of sorts, etc. These ideas might be helpful in this context, too.

There's almost 2 pages, so there's more than I can type here.

-they need space and a low-pressure environment
-they are not amenable to suggestions and deny the possibility of alternatives
-the worst thing others can do is give them advice

-a change of scene or activity can help break the negative obsessive focus
-being in peaceful, quiet, natural surroundings
-getting something under control (I clean and organize sometimes)
-expressions of understanding, sympathy and empathy help some (but not all Ni types)

 

[lostlanguage]

Hi, INFJ here. The Quenk book is really good... also check out "Personality Types under Stress" floating around the web.

A dead give away would be the cause of the stress... what triggered it? In my experience an INFJ and an INTJ can each sit back and be totally cool and calm in situations where the other could easily be a wreck. Figuring out what the person found stressful might be a clue to this.

Other IFJ stress signs to add to the above: overindulgence (obsessive retreat into food, drink, too much TV).
Basically calling on Se to come up to the plate after the Dom, Aux, and Tert functions have all failed and it feels like there's nothing else to try!! Luckily it's usually a short-term thing.

 

[alcea rosea]

I am an INTJ. The biggest difference I find between Ts and Fs when they are having outbursts of anger is that in an F, the outburst is more likely to be a personal attack meant to injure and harm the other person's feelings.

An INTJ would insult someone's intelligence, "what an idiot" whereas the F types I have known, know how to make the dig intensely personal... stabbing you with a knife with YOUR NAME on it.

I surmise this is because the F type is naturally good at "knowing" what I like or what is important to me, and so when they are mad at me, they choose to insult and belittle my most deeply held beliefs or cherished ideas. As far as I know, no "T" I have ever known has ever done that to me.

So it's up to you to decide how "personal" these verbal attacks are.

Ok, based on that, I would say she is INFJ. Definitely. There are huge negative emotional attacks going on.

A dead give away would be the cause of the stress... what triggered it? In my experience an INFJ and an INTJ can each sit back and be totally cool and calm in situations where the other could easily be a wreck. Figuring out what the person found stressful might be a clue to this.

The problem is that I really don't know what triggered it. And because I cannot see any obvious reasons for the reaction, I would say there is some feelings included and then I would also say that she is INFJ. I have a gut feeling that it's something deeper, something very emotional, like feeling hurt because someting I cannot put my finger into.

 

[Fidelia]

I'm overindulgent or avoidant under stress. I don't tend to attack other people. Just do things like buying celeb gossip magazines, junk food, sleep a lot or very little, watch mindless TV and so on.

 

[alcea rosea]

I'm overindulgent or avoidant under stress. I don't tend to attack other people. Just do things like buying celeb gossip magazines, junk food, sleep a lot or very little, watch mindless TV and so on.

Maybe I'm making a wrong conclusion here ( her being INFJ), i don' t know. Lots of emotions included anyway.

 

[cascadeco]

My INFJ friend when under a lot of stress at work (she's had a few stressful periods over the past several years) says she just starts feeling super incompetent, isn't able to keep on top of things well, becomes more scatterbrained, but has never cited having emotional outbursts in front of others; if anything she becomes more withdrawn; I'd say from personal experience she also becomes more avoidant. She told me her 'outbursts' at work would involve going into the bathroom stalls and crying; so most of the emotion was tucked away from coworkers, it's just they would have noticed a decrease in the quality of her work and her being much more withdrawn.

I have to think enneagram would also tie into this and there'd be variation based on enneagram type too.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Whenever I'm under stress I feel more like crawling into a cave and not talking to anyone, yet the emotions I'm experiencing fester inside me. I just want to be left alone and given my own space. Like what Cascadeco said about her INFJ friend, I tend to get more scatterbrained and lose track of things. Typically INFJs don't show emotional outbursts in the workplace, it's reserved at home or someplace in private where nobody else sees it.

 

[cascadeco]

I probably should have answered for myself, too. It's just that my INFJ friend is much more prone to getting stressed out because she leads a busier life and takes on a lot more than I.

But whenever I'm stressed, I too just withdraw and have a lot less desire to interact with anyone, period. I just want to go home and lie on the couch. I'm more closed-off from coworkers, and if probed by coworkers I'd just be more generally negative and irritable than usual; not directed at others in a jabbing way, though. So I don't yell at people, I don't have any desire to make other people look bad/ anything described in the OP. I really just want to keep to myself.

It's why I wasn't sure if enneagram wasn't more impactful with the behaviors described in the OP. Otherwise, the usual disclaimer I throw out there that mbti isn't going to begin to describe everything, behaviorally especially.

 

[011235813]

Going by the OP alone, she honestly sounds like an INFP in the grip of inferior Te. But you say she's Ni-dom, so I dunno.

 

[metalmommy]

I also withdraw and start "dropping balls" when under extreme stress. While I may become more irritable, that would be expressed as just less "outgoing" than usual to acquaintances/coworkers. Again, a general withdrawal. I would not be emotional or have mean outbursts at work. The only people who might see something like this would be those who are in my inner circle. Even then, no emotional cruelty.

Now, if this person is unleashing emotionally at work, is it possible that there is a personal relationship happening with a coworker that is going awry? That's the only way I could see myself becoming that unhinged at work, is if there was a significant personal component. Even still, that's a stretch. I loathe becoming emotional in front of people.

 

[alcea rosea]

I do realize people are more than just their MBTI types. I just remembered that certain types have certain habits when stressed out.

I wonder if INFJ's and INTJ's have different way to react when they feel personally hurt or personally not considered as they would like to be considered? This all at work setting too. So, if INFJ / INTJ would feel personally hurt at work because they don't feel they are considered, would that cause a emotional burst against people about issues?

How about if INFJ/INTJ had personal problems? Would that "shine through" at work. Would emotional problems at home be seen in work life as lack of concentration and having emotional bursts that one wouldn't usually have?

Because how this INXJ is behaving is not her normal behavior. I've known her for several years now.

 

[cascadeco]

How about if INFJ/INTJ had personal problems? Would that "shine through" at work. Would emotional problems at home be seen in work life as lack of concentration and having emotional bursts that one wouldn't usually have?

Lack of concentration / quality of work declining, yes. Emotional outbursts, again, I don't do it and my friend doesn't. I brought up my friend precisely because of the emotional stress in her personal life whilst going to work - she was under immense stress (divorce, while simultaneously learning her sister had cancer, then caring for her sister while she went through chemo), and what I described in my first post is how she was - she'd go into the bathroom to cry.

 

[prplchknz]

INTJs haven't responded, but some of this is the same behavior i have observed in so called INTJs under stress. I say so called, cuz i'm terrible typists and i don't trust people to be the correct type. I'm not even sure if I'm correct.but also its seems to be the younger more immature INTJs who do this.

 

[alcea rosea]

INTJs haven't responded, but some of this is the same behavior i have observed in so called INTJs under stress. I say so called, cuz i'm terrible typists and i don't trust people to be the correct type. I'm not even sure if I'm correct.but also its seems to be the younger more immature INTJs who do this.

My first thought was that she is INTJ because the emotional outburst is something not typical for her.

Her enneagram type would be quite likely type 1 because their stress reaction is Becpming moody and irrational which she seems to be currently even if her logic of thins seems to be ok. But the strenght and the emotional response is out of place compared to her previous behavior and compared to the state of things ( things aren't THAT serious at work) so I started to suspect personal problems.

I am usually right about somebody's behavioral change but usually wrong about why.

 

[metalmommy]

Lack of concentration / quality of work declining, yes. Emotional outbursts, again, I don't do it and my friend doesn't. I brought up my friend precisely because of the emotional stress in her personal life whilst going to work - she was under immense stress (divorce, while simultaneously learning her sister had cancer, then caring for her sister while she went through chemo), and what I described in my first post is how she was - she'd go into the bathroom to cry.

I agree with this. I am, actually, under tremendous amounts of stress at the moment, and I deal much the way you have described. Sometimes things slip, and sometimes I need to go hide in the bathroom and cry. I will do everything in my power to avoid an emotional display, especially at work.

 

[prplchknz]

My first thought was that she is INTJ because the emotional outburst is something not typical for her.

Her enneagram type would be quite likely type 1 because their stress reaction is Becpming moody and irrational which she seems to be currently even if her logic of thins seems to be ok. But the strenght and the emotional response is out of place compared to her previous behavior and compared to the state of things ( things aren't THAT serious at work) so I started to suspect personal problems.

I am usually right about somebody's behavioral change but usually wrong about why.

Yeah my gut says INTJ, but my gut is not the pope, so take it with a brick of salt.