Im didn't mean it like they never change, I meant they never can be persuaded that anyone else could have figured out a better value system than theirs. It is quite possible to turn me into a believer of some values that I didn't approve on first glance. But they seem like rocks with their values. Usually it isn't that bad, but sometimes their values sharply disagree with mine. Thats when it gets difficult...
Well.. The main focus for me is my brother and my father. I haven't lived in my hometown for many years so it isn't like life and death situation since we all have our own little lives now. But still, the things I've wanted to improve have been there for since I was kid, but now that I found MBTI, I think I might actually be able to do something about them. See, there are some cases when I would have wanted to get involved in their problems ad help them out. Lets say anger management... I have had my share of depression so I could have something valuable knowledge about their problems as well. But...
...the catch is that they just don't want to talk about their emotions, they are uncomfortable hearing me talking about emotions. So I haven't tried that for a while. I'm almost out of connection with my father, as he is so shut up (either angry or completely without emotions for a decade now. very rarely smiles). Mostly we talk about when am I going to graduate and how will I get a job. Then silence. My brother's not so bad. He and I grew up together so, there is obviously mutual understanding at least. But with him I always feel that I have to be careful not to hurt him. That's weird, but that's the vibrations I get from him.
This isn't something dramatic I'm talking about here. It's more like a subtle void that is ever present with us. My other brother, my mother and I have this warmth between the lines when we are talking. Not with the SJ-side of the family.
The meaningful relationship with my (also adult) brother and father would be something that doesn't feel so shallow as it does now. We never talk about anything that matters in our lives. I guess it's some kind of code that we all just follow. But I have noticed the same with other SJs. It could be, of course, that I apply the same code with the new acquaintances.
As far as I can tell, they want no support from anyone. They find it shameful to admit not being able to cope. And that's how they cope, just barely, doing their duties and hurting themselves in the process.
No, I don't find them easier. I can't always read them. They obviously have the same emotions as the rest of us, but they are somehow so self-contained that I don't see through them.
My way of argumentation is to try to prove them wrong while considering what they say and to make counter-arguments, but their way is to repeat the punch line all over again in slightly different form. I will get tired of it eventually.
)
