[Ti] My thoughts are not worth sharing

[Istbkleta]

I feel awkward talking about the things I believe in and feel like people get bored or are not accepting of what I am saying.

I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure that I am right but I feel terribly reluctant to say it out loud. Even when I honestly believe it can help people I find myself self-censoring.

This is a new sensation to me.


I'd be happy to hear about similar experiences and what they taught you.

 

[Haight]

I think your analysis is spot on.

 

[Tyrinth]

Well... The trick for me is that I generally don't care what other people think about what I'm thinking. If I think it's worth sharing I'll share it, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I'm not saying this is something you should do, but that's how it works for me.

The thing is, people are going to take their own path regardless of what you say, so just give your two cents, and go on with your day.

Though, I'll admit, self-censoring is something I do often, and is something which can actually be very important...

Being wrong only really matters for objective topics. Whenever something is subjective or an opinion is in play, you really can't be wrong, despite what some NTs would have you believe. So just say and stick with what you believe in. Everyone's opinion is valid/matters, that doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

I think I'm starting to tangent, so I'll stop.

 

[Istbkleta]

Only one person?

 

[skylights]

I believe that if you think something might be positive for someone, barring any major foreseeable conflict, you should share it. People have full free will in terms of whether or not to act on your opinion. If they decide it is worth listening to, and it doesn't work out for them, that's their problem, not yours. There are so many greedy, self-promoting sources spewing out possibly-not-even-close-to-true information (self-absorbed people, advertisements, corporations, etc.) that a genuine, well-thought-out opinion from a sincere, concerned individual is almost always guaranteed to be a boon.

 

[Rasofy]

I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.

Interesting. I take this approach on religious matters (unless people ask my opinion directly).

I'd be happy to hear about similar experiences and what they taught you.

With other subjects, I just try to make it obvious when I'm talking about my opinion or about a theory.

And I try to give people the full picture.

Like, if I'm talking about mbti, I'll mention that it helps with self understanding, but I'll also mention that there are people who end up using it to justify their shortcomings instead of trying to improve themselves.

Also, it helps to have an idea of how clever the other person is.

 

[sculpting]

I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.

Is this a Ti-ish thing and perhaps an internal recognition that Ti is in some sense tied to an individuals identity? thus you should be cautious in how you share the idea so that it doesnt not overtly constrain their own definition of themselves? (But how does what one does define identity? what one thinks? I can sort of see a dot-to-dot pattern in TPs, but I cant "feel" the internal experience that embodies this with a sense of self...)

I am exactly the same as you, expect it is not with ideas but with feelings and values. I feel extremely awkward in sharing a strongly held value stance-and will do so only in hesitant terms which are very cautious not to encrouch upon the other person's feelings. Thus often I say nothing. They have the right to determine what they would like to feel on a topic and have the right to the internal emotions that give rise to their values. because those feelings are so closely tied to internal motivation, it is really, really rude to try and overtly influence them directly-like I am invalidating their own sense of identity-invalidating them as a person. I may not feel the same as them, but if I cannot convince them with data to see a situation in a different way, it isnt my place to tell them they are wrong (or god forbid "unhealthy"), as much as just agree to disagree. Or even ask why they feel they way they do to learn more about their perspective-maybe they can teach me something.

(Ideas are nothing like this-they are more like beach balls that I just throw in the air-I dont care if they are right or wrong-there is nothing personal in them. I love nothing more than a combative discussion where my ideas get beaten up)

Rather than my thoughts are not worth sharing-it is that my values are not worth sharing. <<There is something telling there about a sense of self-worth.

Additionally there is a notion that while my feeling may be very important (even "RIGHT"), that I should quell them from and give others the freedom to feel differently, even if it makes my gut tense and offends me-as you would allow them the freedom of ideas, even if wrong<<There is something about maturity and recognition of the group needs over our own inner world/ego....

(sorry to sound self-focused-I see a mirror in my experiences that may be of value as it reflects your experiences-basically yes what you feel is shared by others in similar ways)

(Is this your your inner Fe shrug?)

Hope that was helpful