[Ne] Grass is Greener Syndrome

[sculpting]

that guy over there who seems smart and interesting online might be some 30 year old jobless bum,

*snickers*

The most important thing to defeat the urge to run away into newness is to recognize it for what it is-escape. fun, wonderful escape, but still escape. I have developed the five day rule-if I still want to take the leap after five solid days of thinking over an issue, then I need to consider a real desire and not a fleeting escape path.

Even then, the most important thing in the world is to speak about the issue to the other person (if a person is involved) and give them the chance to talk through the issue. Sometimes I find I am so hesitant to speak of what bothers me, that escape seems an easier path than confrontation.

 

[Standuble]

I am plagued by these issues. They manifest themselves these days as the idolization of certain MBTI types due to the perceived possession of a certain skill or two which I believe myself to lack and subsequently covet. I imagine what I could be doing with myself and the possibilities of how my life could have turned out if I possessed slightly different preferences e.g. stronger thinking, more intuitive etc. whilst conveniently overlooking the issues of any shortfalls or problems which may plague said type which I do not experience or are unaffected by.

It's an unfortunate issue. Especially as I have supposedly commited myself to stop desiring the lives of others and work on salvaging what I can from my own.

 

[Isis]

Gawwwwwd- relate to all of these- glad I'm not alone- but why do we torture ourselves. What gives?
I found this extremely exacerbated after being on a regiment of anxiety meds. I think my higher level of serotonin loves the feel good and craves anything that keeps me at the feel good level. It sucks really!!
Why can't we just be eternally happy with the choices we have made?

 

[kyuuei]

My general thought on it is that no matter how green the grass is or where it came from, if you taste it it'll still taste just like grass.

 

[Betty Blue]

ie How Ne Creates Its Own Special Hell


Strategies on confronting this, anyone?

Nope sorry, still working on it. It dosn't affect my comittment so much, but the airy fairy..."oh wouldn't it be wonderful if..." idea's never go away.

 

[skylights]

^ ditto. I never had a problem with commitment, only with regret.

I am plagued by these issues. They manifest themselves these days as the idolization of certain MBTI types due to the perceived possession of a certain skill or two which I believe myself to lack and subsequently covet. I imagine what I could be doing with myself and the possibilities of how my life could have turned out if I possessed slightly different preferences e.g. stronger thinking, more intuitive etc. whilst conveniently overlooking the issues of any shortfalls or problems which may plague said type which I do not experience or are unaffected by.

It's an unfortunate issue. Especially as I have supposedly commited myself to stop desiring the lives of others and work on salvaging what I can from my own.

I lived this out for a while in regards to ENFJ. I was very envious... until my ENFJ friend had a series of setbacks and we grew apart a bit and I met another ENFJ and I began seeing the serious negatives that the type can entail.

As far as I see it now, I'm committed to being a happy ENFP because even if I tried to be something else, I wouldn't be able to be happy.

*snickers*

The most important thing to defeat the urge to run away into newness is to recognize it for what it is-escape. fun, wonderful escape, but still escape. I have developed the five day rule-if I still want to take the leap after five solid days of thinking over an issue, then I need to consider a real desire and not a fleeting escape path.

Even then, the most important thing in the world is to speak about the issue to the other person (if a person is involved) and give them the chance to talk through the issue. Sometimes I find I am so hesitant to speak of what bothers me, that escape seems an easier path than confrontation.

Good ideas!

One time I was antsy in my relationship and I worked up the courage to ask my boyfriend if he ever imagined dating other people (while we were together). He said yes. I was surprised. I asked him who and when and where and why. And we had a really interesting conversation. It was really comforting to be able to share that together, that we both felt that draw towards other options but chose to stay with each other anyway. It reinforced my confidence in our relationship tenfold. He said he was glad to be able to talk about it, too.

It was also good to identify which aspects of those other options were causing us to feel drawn to them.

 

[Isis]

It can be really really tough.
Seeing people less fortunate can help kick me in the arse.
I'm in a tough grass-is-greener mode right now. And I don't like it. I really wish I would get over it already.

 

[Standuble]

It can be really really tough.
Seeing people less fortunate can help kick me in the arse.
I'm in a tough grass-is-greener mode right now. And I don't like it. I really wish I would get over it already.

What is it you're desiring? Couldn't you try and perceive a specific trait in the object of your desire which you believe would make you less fortunate?

 

[Isis]

What is it you're desiring? Couldn't you try and perceive a specific trait in the object of your desire which you believe would make you less fortunate?

I do try to do that- thank you. It seems to work temporarily but doesn't stick. ugggh
You know that song sex and drugs and rock n roll? Well yeah- it's something like that. lol

 

[PrincessButtercup]

Wow. The more I read these threads the more I see I am INFP. I have not wanted to be INFP but I am.

Oh how I wish I had known about this 25 years ago. How do you stop the Ne gone crazy? Relive all the times you gave in to it and lived to regret it.

Tell yourself, "This is not reality but my intuition showing me what is possible - it's possible, not real, not guaranteed, but possible in the perfect world that exists ONLY in my head...Now, back to reality."

 

[UniqueMixture]

Rise to the occasion