[ENFJ] ENFJs and Friendliness

[SubtleFighter]

ENFJs are generally known to have a friendly demeanor toward everyone they meet. For the ENFJs out there, I'm wondering how you would act differently toward someone who you're trying to start a friendship with. For instance, would you ever tell someone that you should get a coffee or a meal sometime and not really mean it? And if so, how would you let them know that you do mean it?

In general, do you know of any signs that you give off that you want to start a friendship with someone and that it's not just general friendliness?

 

[Thessaly]

Why do you ask? Hmmmmm.... *rubs hands together*

 

[IceBlock]

For instance, would you ever tell someone that you should get a coffee or a meal sometime and not really mean it? And if so, how would you let them know that you do mean it?

YES, DEFINETELY YES. They are experts in making you think they like you when in reality they don't. At least with the all ENFJs I know, all women.

 

[Neutralpov]

YES, DEFINETELY YES. They are experts in making you think they like you when in reality they don't. At least with the all ENFJs I know, all women.

Lol bitter ENFP in the wake of the enfjs. Don't you like the intense emotional experience!? Funny thing is in my life the ENFPs were the ones who couldn't handle it in the end.
I wish I was a man sometimes because I am excellent at initiating and not afraid of rejection (or falling flat on my face to risk something I want). To be honest sometimes I mention coffee, emailing to be polite and this might be a big southern thing but you can tell if I mean it by my eyes. I also pursue people, I mean only an enfj has the fortitude to drag down an intp with friendliness-wrapped intensity :-D

I often miss that other people want to get coffee with me or get together because they don't follow up on their words. If you don't follow up, step up...on to the next. I guess in that sense I am aware that I can easily find someone else or an existing friend unfortunately. I also don't get the subtle infp or infj posts like this. Why not show you want to be a friend? Step out in life to get the rewards! If it isn't expressed we won't register it. I would love an infj friend.

 

[ms.behaving]

ENFJs are generally known to have a friendly demeanor toward everyone they meet. For the ENFJs out there, I'm wondering how you would act differently toward someone who you're trying to start a friendship with. For instance, would you ever tell someone that you should get a coffee or a meal sometime and not really mean it? And if so, how would you let them know that you do mean it?n

In general, do you know of any signs that you give off that you want to start a friendship with someone and that it's not just general friendliness?

I do not lead people on like that. When I say I want to get together, I want to rock your world,

The pressing question,. how would you know I meant it? I would text or call...befriend you on Facebook.

 

[Glycerine]

ENFJs aren't always the best with follow up.... if they don't like you, they wouldn't have bothered inviting you in the first place. I am horrible with being responsive to people sometimes but it usually doesn't mean I dislike them.. more stress or a lot on my mind... I am worse than my ENFP sis on this front. [MENTION=14632]IceBlock[/MENTION], you surely have it out for ENFJs...whoo doggies.

 

[Rasofy]

I also pursue people, I mean only an enfj has the fortitude to drag down an intp with friendliness-wrapped intensity :-D

True story.
Met one that was fairly aggressive, yet extremely tactful. Her rhythm was much faster than mine, but I didn't tell her to slow down... I just submitted lol.

/macho

 

[ms.behaving]

ENFJs aren't always the best with follow up.... if they don't like you, they wouldn't have bothered inviting you in the first place. I am horrible with being responsive to people sometimes but it usually doesn't mean I dislike them.. more stress or a lot on my mind... I am worse than my ENFP sis on this front. [MENTION=14632]IceBlock[/MENTION], you surely have it out for ENFJs...whoo doggies.

I am pretty darn responsive, even gifted there, but I agree with you that I would not bother inviting someone I do not like to go to an event with me.

 

[Neutralpov]

True story.
Met one that was fairly aggressive, yet extremely tactful. Her rhythm was much faster than mine, but I didn't tell her to slow down... I just submitted lol.

/macho

lol

 

[Anarkandi]

I'm an sx/so Fe(Ni) 3. (ENFJ) and when I say "Let's go out for coffee" I do because I want to. It's not like all ENFJ's are "hey I love you (no i don't)" but maybe we overreact and are overly touchy-feely and lead people on to thinking we like them more than they do, just a little bit.. But then it's more because we're not sure than that we are intentionally manipulating people. Oh, and sometimes I suck at following up. Like I invited this girl for coffee but then she never responded and I didn't either.

 

[frylockholmes]

I find that if I even slightly enjoy the company of someone, I will reach out and want to hang out with them especially if I've been deprived of social experiences in the recent past. But if someone else comes a long that I REALLY enjoy, I will forget about the other person. I really suck at follow up unless it's a person who I'm really excited about. But then if I don't feel the same excitement from them, I tend to not follow up in that instance either. I will never make plans with someone who I don't like. I'll just make excuses like, "I'm super busy this... year." haha... But I do always remain friendly. Everyone always says I'm so nice and my husband says that EVERYONE loves me. But I think it's just because I make everyone feel loved.