[INFJ] Jocks, car salesmen and loud mouths

[Ene]

Okay, I confess that I am still new to the the whole enneagram, personality thing. I got turned on to it while helping my sister on a research paper for psychology. So, I've not yet learned to identify other types, but I know the characteristics of the types I don't like. They're loud, boisterious, obnoxious. They're always lording their physical powers over others and showing out. They're insensitive and full of themselves. Ever since I was a kid, I've disliked it when the guys who played sports were louder, got more breaks from teachers, were rude, etc. I want to like people for who they are, but there are certain take-charge types that I have issues with. I hate to admit that, but it is so true. So, I've just got to ask, does anyone else ever have this personal issue?

I was doing a martial arts demonstration [with some friends from our martial arts school] and handing out flyers for free self-defense class at college this evening when all these jocks come around acting like they knew everything about everything. I hate that I am like this but I don't like them. Maybe I'm jealous that I'm not six feet tall and made of muscle or twice as strong as I am, but I do all right for a petite person with a big lot of heart. It's like we come from different planets. I confess. I fantazised about hurting them as they walked away. Eek! That's not good.

 

[Winds of Thor]

 

[kiddykat]

I confess I share the same fantasies, too.

I've often felt as though when in the presence of that kind of behavior, we're on two totally different plaents. I can see myself being obnoxious and loudmouthy, but this is mostly at home when I'm in my comfort zone and purposely want to get a rise out of my loved ones just for kicks.

Obnoxious as in being very egocentric? What gets me more is the linear type of thinking where when they talk, they make it seem like "it's just the way it is" as though their values are being imposed onto others because that loud boisterous obnoxious nature makes it so. Annoying. I want to spray some raid and fumigation, mase them.

 

[A_priori]

What can we learn from them?

 

[Ene]

I confess I share the same fantasies, too.

I've often felt as though when in the presence of that kind of behavior, we're on two totally different plaents. I can see myself being obnoxious and loudmouthy, but this is mostly at home when I'm in my comfort zone and purposely want to get a rise out of my loved ones just for kicks.

Obnoxious as in being very egocentric? What gets me more is the linear type of thinking where when they talk, they make it seem like "it's just the way it is" as though their values are being imposed onto others because that loud boisterous obnoxious nature makes it so. Annoying. I want to spray some raid and fumigation, mase them.

Thank you, KittyKat. That is exactly the way I felt last night. I guess it just does me good to know that not everyone in the world values those things above more "lasting" things.

What can we learn from them?

What I've learned from them is that if the whole world acted that way, then it would be a planet void of compassion, understanding and spiritual growth. I've also seen them on the other end, in the nursing home say around 80 or 90 and it's not a pretty sight unless they finally "grow a heart".

 

[Ene]

Criac,

Thanks for the video. Yeah, that guy would be one of them. haha.

 

[Istbkleta]

I fantazised about hurting them as they walked away. Eek! That's not good.

Why is that not good.

Because it contradicts the image you have of yourself?

You know what theory says - inside every compassionate INFJ there is a brutish jock (ESTP), waiting for the mid life crises to come out and play

Maybe I'm jealous that I'm not six feet tall and made of muscle or twice as strong as I am

Perhaps this is the conscious representation of your anima Se - the need to develop well physically just because you want to.

This is not a bad thing in itself. It's a good, positive side of every individual. The anima is the door to the magical world of the unconscious mind. You seem to be doing very well getting to know it. I think jungians say this is the most challenging of all the functions to accept. Takes decades for the average person, if ever. It's a very positive thing you are being so open towards it.
I think though it's important to protect it from other people and their criticism. It's vulnerable and shaky and has very strong needs. I think it needs to play in a safe environment away from criticism. Including self criticism (can't stress this enough).

All the best! I hope this information will help you.

 

[Jaguar]

What I've learned from them is that if the whole world acted that way, then it would be a planet void of compassion, understanding and spiritual growth. I've also seen them on the other end, in the nursing home say around 80 or 90 and it's not a pretty sight unless they finally "grow a heart".

According to your other post, you're fantasizing about hurting people while talking about compassion and understanding in this post.
Perhaps the reason you don't like those jocks is they represent an unacknowledged physical side of yourself that is anything but compassionate.

Strike a balance.

 

[Ene]

Jaguar and Isbkleta,

I first want to answer Isbkleta's question of why it's not good. It's not good because hurting people in general is just not a good idea!

I'm sure you're right in saying that hidden desires to hurt someone represents an aggressive side. Striking a balance is an every day effort in life for an INFJ, at least it is for me. On the one hand, I feel great compassion, on the other, I KNOW that I have the compacity to committ hurtful acts. I make no effort to disguise the fact that I have moments when I want to get physically aggressive. After all, I'm at least partly human. I make no attempt to cover up the fact that I am capable of great acts of hurt, just as I am capable of great acts of mercy.

The thing about an INFJ is this, if I ever did decide to do something, it usually wouldn't be a snap decision, it would be a carefully planned act and thankfully before I have time to finish planning the act, some inside force appeals to my humanity and reasons me out of it. I'm glad for that inside force. As I look back on the instance I realize that I didn't really want to do permanent damage. I only had a secret desire to bring them down a notch or two, but even in that, I was wrong. It's not my place. I believe that every one of us, regardless of type, has these conflicts. Maybe they are stronger in some than others. But people who think that INFJ's are immune to feelings of anger, hurt, shame, aggression, etc. are mistaken. We often don't show them on the outside, but on the inside, they're there and they have to be dealt with constantly.

The following story from my childhood illustrates this constant contradiction. I remember once when I was a kid, a cousin hurt my feelings. I went up to my room and planned for a long time on how to make her see the errors of her ways. I finally came up with a plan that would look like an accident [yes, it was INFJ revenge, only I was ten and had no idea that's what it was]. Then I went downstairs, got on my bike and started riding around the front yard. I "lost control of the bike" as I approached the area where she sat playing with my brothers and their toy trucks. I ran right into her and she cried. Immediately, I felt remorse. I thought she had it coming and I gave it to her, but then I knew I was wrong. Hurt feelings and carefully laid plans had turned me into a little monster and I saw it. I couldn't undo what I had done and her tears haunted me after that. I consoled her as did everyone else. I had hurt her, on purpose and made it look like an accident. In my mind I had been a evil little jerk. I haven't done anything like that since. BUT, I still have thoughts, just like I had thoughts about the jocks at the college.

So, I suppose that my posts about the jocks was a confession of sorts, or maybe I just wanted to say, "Hey, doesn't anybody else ever feel this way?" Or maybe, and this is highly likely, I am kind of new to the forum and I just wanted to get to know people and the only way I knew to do that was start a conversation. INFJ's are supposed to be hard to get to know, yet, I want to be open, to a point [don't want to tell my address, phone number, etc.], but I want to be open about what makes me tick. After all, this is a personality forum