[ENFP] Helping a depressed enfp

[sketcheasy]

If you want to help, just STFU and listen. If you understand how she could be upset, tell her you understand and relate an experience of your own without saying how you overcame it. Wait for her to ask YOU for advice. Then take her out somewhere you think she'll have fun and maybe forget about her troubles, like sushi or ice cream. If you're having problems figuring out what to say because all you want to do is talk about her situation, go do something that doesn't require conversation like a movie or the arcade, or get wasted with some friends and play card games.

G'luck.

i disagree on some points. let her talk it out with you cause she's an ENFP and she'll definitely start going on and on about it until she starts to rationalize it through her monologue. only talk after it appears as if she's exhausted her thoughts and play off it and you'll be surprised as to how easily they begin to solve their own problems. ENFP's are versatile and can handle these situations if they can just get a grip on their emotions. encourage her to think more than to feel. it helps me.

 

[Dom]

im a depressed enfp right now... have been for going on 3+ years now

What's up old chap?

 

[Xander]

Of course I rejected being ENFP, I'm an ENFP and someone just told me who/what I am.. I wasn't standing for that! lol... once i realised what it meant I had to admit that I am one. Though perhaps not typical, but then I'm of the opinion that there are fewer people who are typical of their types than not... lol

Well stereotypes aren't supposed to fit someone... well not if you're thinking straight.

I never ever said that someone else's opinion couldn't be useful or informative and I never suggested that it wasn not possible for them to spot something I've missed. Don't turn my assertion that I know myself better than anyone else does into a pretence that I think I have myself down anymore than the 1.2% you suggest!

I was merely underlining.

anyway, sure Xander you could offer a perspective I haven't considered but that doesn't mean you are right. And it is for me to consider it and revise my position or not. If you think hard you'll notice that sometimes, I do say.. I hadn't thought of that, and think on it a while before responding with how I think it can be incorporated or why it needs to be rejected. It is when you insist, or i perceive that you are insisting that I incorporate it, or when I've already thought of and rejected it that we head into trouble!

NF/ST versus NT/SF combined with EP versus IP. You feel like I don't listen enough and I feel that you exclude things which are connected. Most of the time we only have problems in stressful times. Think ESFJ talking to ISTJ, that may illuminate more.

Basically you may stonewall sometimes and other times you take something in, process it and then seemingly reject it completely where as I filter things before I take them in a very rarely reject anything completely. The two approaches makes for very ... interesting discussions

 

[Battle]

What's up old chap?

just a vicious cycle that never seems to end.

and no one to turn to for help..due to lack of trust... its a REALLY LONG story. maybe ill blog about it one day

 

[Dom]

just a vicious cycle that never seems to end.

and no one to turn to for help..due to lack of trust... its a REALLY LONG story. maybe ill blog about it one day

Go for it, (though be careful as people here will give all kinds of crazy advice)

Pm me if you want a totaly objective person who really ca't hurt you, to blather at...

 

[Dom]

Basically you may stonewall sometimes and other times you take something in, process it and then seemingly reject it completely where as I filter things before I take them in a very rarely reject anything completely. The two approaches makes for very ... interesting discussions

sigh... well that is how you see it...

Personally I think you are far far far more stubborn at accepting a perspective from the outside than I am, old chap. But then i would think that huh cos I'm an enfp and all, and well obviously you do fliter, accept or reject accurately and incorporate approriately cos your an intp!! Lovely I'm glad we've sorted that one out....

I rarely reject anything completely, I am an E but the fullness of everything that happens in my head doesn't actually get broadcast whole sale to the world.

And what criteria do you use to "filter" what you take in? DO you think hmmm.. yes but it came from a fluffy F or how do you filter? "hmm that doesn't fit in my already constructed view, I'll filter that out then as silly"?

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

i disagree on some points. let her talk it out with you cause she's an ENFP and she'll definitely start going on and on about it until she starts to rationalize it through her monologue. only talk after it appears as if she's exhausted her thoughts and play off it and you'll be surprised as to how easily they begin to solve their own problems. ENFP's are versatile and can handle these situations if they can just get a grip on their emotions. encourage her to think more than to feel. it helps me.

Where exactly did you disagree?

 

[sketcheasy]

about distracting her by keeping her mind off of it. when i'm in that situation, the reasons for my depression would linger in the back of my mind and it would be impossible to really keep my mind off of it. do something that does require conversation.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I see. Very well.