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[ENFP] Are ENFP's motivated by competion at all?

The Great One

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I've heard that ENFP's aren't motivated by competition very much? Is this true?
 

Starry

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True for me. I'm basically 'demotivated' by competition as it makes me uncomfortable. It's weird...I'll be interested in something and want to participate...but as soon as 'competition' comes into play - I'm out.
 

The Great One

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True for me. I'm basically 'demotivated' by competition as it makes me uncomfortable. It's weird...I'll be interested in something and want to participate...but as soon as 'competition' comes into play - I'm out.

Interesting. Why does competition make you feel uncomfortable?
 

AgentF

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OP: i'd have hog-tied you with saran wrap by the time you finished that post.

but i may be confusing competition with sensuality.
 

The Great One

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OP: i'd have hog-tied you with saran wrap by the time you finished that post.

but i may be confusing competition with sensuality.

And I would gladly allow you to hog tie me with saran wrap. That sounds hot.
 

skylights

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i think this may be more of an enneagram issue?

generally i am quite competitive, but i don't like open competitions (like performances).

and yes there is an element of sexiness to competition.
 

Starry

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Interesting. Why does competition make you feel uncomfortable?

idk. I haven't really thought about it all that deeply - and maybe I should as maybe I'd be more successful myself if I could ascertain why I'm so annoyed by competition and competitive people haha. I guess there is just something stupid and primitive to me about it...as soon as something becomes more about 'winning' and 'being right'...than having fun or executing a task in the most efficient and effective matter - yuck. Like I've seen people's judgment totally skewed/screwed by their competitive need to be right or 'first' or whatever...and I just have to roll my eyes. I have seen competition work in a counterproductive way far more times than I have seen it work positively for people (like in sports where it is appropriate). So that's it really.

...yes there is an element of sexiness to competition.

I have to laugh at this because I feel the complete opposite haha!!! I don't mind big egos so much when there is 'room for everyone' so to speak... But big competitive egos that suck all the air out of the room? No thanks. These kinds of people are decidedly unsexy to me lol.
 

Amargith

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The fact that others will feel bad about themselves while you feel great when you win, makes me shy away from competitions. The general vibe of disappointment overthrows any potential fun and enjoyment of whatever the reward is. So..its a lose-lose situation for me.

The only exception I have is when nobody can lose. To give an extreme example, a competition in the bedroom to blow each others minds and drive each other beyond the point of return is most definitely something I'm up for and will gladly accept a challenge on. Otherwise, not my cup of tea.
 

Laurie

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I'm competitive. We always played board games growing up and I learned that you can win or lose but you should always play your best.

My circle of friends are all from board game group and there are no hard feelings over people winning games. These aren't simple games, some take 3 hours. If there does happen to be some stress after a game it just blows over anyway. I do like games like Dominion and Power Grid where I play by myself with other people.
 

The Great One

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i think this may be more of an enneagram issue?

generally i am quite competitive, but i don't like open competitions (like performances).

and yes there is an element of sexiness to competition.

It may be an enneagram issue.

The fact that others will feel bad about themselves while you feel great when you win, makes me shy away from competitions. The general vibe of disappointment overthrows any potential fun and enjoyment of whatever the reward is. So..its a lose-lose situation for me.

The only exception I have is when nobody can lose. To give an extreme example, a competition in the bedroom to blow each others minds and drive each other beyond the point of return is most definitely something I'm up for and will gladly accept a challenge on. Otherwise, not my cup of tea.

Who gives a shit if the others feel bad if they lose? I would just say, if you lose, then you didn't practice/try hard enough.

I'm competitive. We always played board games growing up and I learned that you can win or lose but you should always play your best.

My circle of friends are all from board game group and there are no hard feelings over people winning games. These aren't simple games, some take 3 hours. If there does happen to be some stress after a game it just blows over anyway. I do like games like Dominion and Power Grid where I play by myself with other people.

See for me, losing is not an option. I must win everytime or I feel bad about myself.
 

Amargith

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I do. I prefer not having to deal with crappy feelings that i induced.
 

Betty Blue

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No, i'm not motivated by it at all. I can be assertive when necessary but that is different.
So there are variations on what competition is...and circumstances yadda yadda.
Funny laurie mentioned the boardgame thing as i was always very competitive until i got into a position in which i was dominating all... then i would back down and support the underdog.
Because of this i would rarely win, i'm a very good loser, it just dosn't bother me.
But one thing i absolutely detested was when people would brag and flaunt their winning in your face. I would never retaliate or do this in return, i think it annoyed a lot of friends.

Competition in other senses, i suppose, have affected me more. I like challenges and that could be interpreted as some form of competition.
I like to take things on that people think i would be incapable of, things that may seem lost causes too. Just to prove to myself that i can i think.
So maybe that's it... it's more about myself that competing with others.... i don't have anything to prove to others...just myself... yeah that fits.
 

skylights

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i was always very competitive until i got into a position in which i was dominating all... then i would back down and support the underdog.

me too!! :)

I have to laugh at this because I feel the complete opposite haha!!! I don't mind big egos so much when there is 'room for everyone' so to speak... But big competitive egos that suck all the air out of the room? No thanks. These kinds of people are decidedly unsexy to me lol.

lol, i get annoyed by that, but to be honest i usually find outright power struggles kind of funny because both people generally end up making asses of themselves.

anyway i am not against quietly trying to one-up people when it comes to looking good, doing the best at work, or catching attention from men of interest. i figure it's a fun challenge for me to engage in, with the end result being me trying harder and doing better at whatever i'm already doing. i'm not always very good at self-motivating, but if i use someone else as my yardstick (eg i would like my hair to consistently look as nice as emily's), then it's easier. usually i'll do something like that and will work on individualizing along the way. so i love emily's long wavy thick blonde hair, but that's her, not me - i'm going for long wavy voluminous strawberry blonde instead.

i'm also definitely a fan of trying to capitalize on my own strong points and encouraging others to capitalize on theirs, rather than fighting over one spot. people are naturally better in different ways, so best to encourage each person to succeed on their own path, the process of which not only helps them but also clears yours for you to shine.

The fact that others will feel bad about themselves while you feel great when you win, makes me shy away from competitions. The general vibe of disappointment overthrows any potential fun and enjoyment of whatever the reward is. So..its a lose-lose situation for me.

I do. I prefer not having to deal with crappy feelings that i induced.

i agree with this. i don't generally like win-lose games because i have to choose between feeling bad because i lost and feeling bad because the other person lost. if it's someone i really care about, like family or significant other, i'll try to make us come out even. with friends i usually am more competitive and will try hard to win, but i'll also pull myself out of the game if i've won more than once.
 

King sns

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I tend to compete with myself the most....
 

Starry

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lol, i get annoyed by that, but to be honest i usually find outright power struggles kind of funny because both people generally end up making asses of themselves.

anyway i am not against quietly trying to one-up people when it comes to looking good, doing the best at work, or catching attention from men of interest. i figure it's a fun challenge for me to engage in, with the end result being me trying harder and doing better at whatever i'm already doing. i'm not always very good at self-motivating, but if i use someone else as my yardstick (eg i would like my hair to consistently look as nice as emily's), then it's easier. usually i'll do something like that and will work on individualizing along the way. so i love emily's long wavy thick blonde hair, but that's her, not me - i'm going for long wavy voluminous strawberry blonde instead.

i'm also definitely a fan of trying to capitalize on my own strong points and encouraging others to capitalize on theirs, rather than fighting over one spot. people are naturally better in different ways, so best to encourage each person to succeed on their own path, the process of which not only helps them but also clears yours for you to shine.

haha...even though I was cracking up at what you said...I know you well enough to know what you meant by it and can understand in that way. And what you describe above...I think you are so right when you say this 'competition' thing is enneagram related. I've always felt like you have a strong connection to 3 and have a very healthy/positive expression of it.
 

unityemissions

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It depends. Sometimes I don't like to compete, because there's no point. If I'm best, why participate? Sometimes I like to compete because I can improve myself. If I'm not best, why not participate?

There's other points I focus on when deciding if I want to compete, however. If the goal of competing is personal or team improvement, sure, but at what expense?

Basically all of my decisions follow a continuum of constantly evolving principals. While I barely know exactly how the process works, I can generally sum it up as:

If X causes more good, based on my values, proceed. If X causes more suffering, just don't do it.

So applying this in the context of competing, if I see more progress in the majority of people that this action would influence by choosing to compete, than regress, I'll do it.

If I'm not sure, and it seems neutral, I go to personal preference usually based on my current mood.

Oh but if it's a game of chess, BRING IT!!!
 

boondocked

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I'm most definitely motivated by competition.

I see good, healthy competition as the only appropriate outlet I've got for aggression. By which I mean, I have trouble manifesting aggression in any other way because I feel bound by others' perception of me as uniformly sunshiny and sweet. I'm too prone to conform to whatever people want me to be (which, generally, *isn't* a "difficult", combative woman).

Soooo instead, I've got competitiveness, the socially-sanctioned release! I can let myself feel whatever stormier emotions I've got to feel, and then leave them out there on the field/gameboard/debating floor.

As long as you aren't underhanded or mean-spirited during competitions, I think it can be a veerrry positive thing :D. In my case, it both provides release and spurs growth. V. motivating.

//awesome question, OP, btw
 

Laurie

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I'm hoping to get this on a shirt for tomorrow night's game group.

162270392794127293_sl16iEUP_f.jpg


(taking off the "brotip" part, of course)
 

skylights

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^ lol!!

haha...even though I was cracking up at what you said...I know you well enough to know what you meant by it and can understand in that way. And what you describe above...I think you are so right when you say this 'competition' thing is enneagram related. I've always felt like you have a strong connection to 3 and have a very healthy/positive expression of it.

:blush: thank you... you are absolutely right about there being a good deal of 3 in me. i think it's been a long road in terms of making it come closer to a healthy connection, and i think i still have plenty of room to grow - not long ago i used to FREAK OUT if anyone saw the messes i desperately tried to keep hidden, or if i was caught without makeup, or if i heard that someone was speaking poorly of me in public. a stable relationship has REALLY helped ease the first two - having someone i look up to and treasure more than anyone accepting my flaws and being affirming has done wonders for my sense of stability - and holding a PR office in an organization (ie basically half the organization was continually PO'd at me for properly enforcing discipline) has helped me have a thicker skin in terms of the second one. i've really had to work hard on learning self-confidence (not self-esteem though, interestingly, and i've noticed this seeming disparity seems to be a common ENFP quirk) and on developing boundaries in terms of how much i need to adjust to meet a situation and how much i can just be - i suspect that's a primary e3 dilemma.

i wonder if i am not 6w7-3w4-8w9. :shrug:
 

Elfboy

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I've heard that ENFP's aren't motivated by competition very much? Is this true?

it's definitely true for me. I'm only competitive if you piss me off, and then it's in a "die mutha fucka!" sort of way as opposed to a healthy kind of competition.

Edit: I have nothing against competition. in fact, I see it as a very beneficial personality trait, just one that I lack almost completely
 
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