Turtledove
New member
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2011
- Messages
- 359
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I hope this can be accepted in this area. With the all wealth and knowledge as well as emotional intelligence is concerned, I have come with a desire for advice on whether or not I can do something about this dilemma or at least understand his behavior. This is anonymous. I hate to see my friend go through this, but I told him 2 years ago that the best lesson learned is learned the hard way.
I have a friend I assume is an ENFP. He has muscular dystrophy and is in his early 20s. From what I gather of his history, he at one point had to live in an orphanage or some sort of foster care until his mother was able to gain custody or something of that nature when he got older. He moved in with her eventually. I don't know the whole story. The mother had a rough life doing drugs and all that, but finally got her head on straight. I'm good friends with her.
What his biggest chore in life is finding someone to end up getting married to. Naturally, how we met and became friends was because he became infatuated with me--quite flattering actually. Eventually, said he had a crush on me until I turned him down. I am enjoying my single life at the moment and he wasn't; it's like he didn't get it. We're a couple of years apart and I'm more emotionally mature than him apparently. Well, I never felt an attraction to him at all. When I friended him on facebook, his real feelings came out as being a bit moody and emo; always saying he wants somebody, and no one loves him, even dumb enough to put things like his number up for all to see. I had enough with his emotional drama and just unfriended him because he was ticking me off. That was a while back.
He FINALLY got a girlfriend (19-ish) and he dated her I think a year. The parents of the girl didn't like him, but sisters did. They talked about getting married and all that jazz. I'm like "you stupid." During the time they were dating, the drama comes out. He took the GED and found out he failed it, and then he finds out that the girlfriend has been raped by the same guy multiple times as well as her saying some other guy kissed her and she tried to stop him and all that. So, he was really bummed and I comforted him about it, which I personally didn't mind because I do care about his education and that rape thing I believed and had sympathy at the time (though I question the incident now.) Well, here's the funny part, the girlfriend's sister actually comes to him and says that she actually kissed another guy again. He was like "we're through," and broke up with her and then said afterwards that he found out he can pass the part of the GED he failed--math. He went on at the same time to me saying he was going to college to be a history professor and all that. I was enthused about him and supported his education by giving him stuff to study like for the ACTs and all. I got him books and CDs now she was out of the picture. I almost felt a little attracted to him because he valued his education more with no distractions now realizing he learnt his lesson.
A few months later, I see him walking by with the ex. They were back together?! I looked at him like "What?!" He seemed to not want to talk about it. The mom comes by and says they're back together. I want to smack that boy upside the head!
What is very odd is I see a correlation between the girlfriend and her father. Let me explain. I have a friend of mine who spoke to me about this father who works as an usher. She spoke of history where this man was saying he wanted to talk to her privately. She (a single female in her 30s) says "I don't want to talk to you. You're married." He never spoke to her after that. The wife now stares at her sometimes and the husband working at the moment she says undresses her with his eyes. The apple does not fall too far from the tree now does it?
So my other correlation is perhaps my guy friend is insecure due to perhaps abandonment issues? The father is a cheater and the girlfriend does it, too?
Like I said, is there any insight into what I have said I can do or is there any insight from anyone else's point of view you guys can point out?
I have a friend I assume is an ENFP. He has muscular dystrophy and is in his early 20s. From what I gather of his history, he at one point had to live in an orphanage or some sort of foster care until his mother was able to gain custody or something of that nature when he got older. He moved in with her eventually. I don't know the whole story. The mother had a rough life doing drugs and all that, but finally got her head on straight. I'm good friends with her.
What his biggest chore in life is finding someone to end up getting married to. Naturally, how we met and became friends was because he became infatuated with me--quite flattering actually. Eventually, said he had a crush on me until I turned him down. I am enjoying my single life at the moment and he wasn't; it's like he didn't get it. We're a couple of years apart and I'm more emotionally mature than him apparently. Well, I never felt an attraction to him at all. When I friended him on facebook, his real feelings came out as being a bit moody and emo; always saying he wants somebody, and no one loves him, even dumb enough to put things like his number up for all to see. I had enough with his emotional drama and just unfriended him because he was ticking me off. That was a while back.
He FINALLY got a girlfriend (19-ish) and he dated her I think a year. The parents of the girl didn't like him, but sisters did. They talked about getting married and all that jazz. I'm like "you stupid." During the time they were dating, the drama comes out. He took the GED and found out he failed it, and then he finds out that the girlfriend has been raped by the same guy multiple times as well as her saying some other guy kissed her and she tried to stop him and all that. So, he was really bummed and I comforted him about it, which I personally didn't mind because I do care about his education and that rape thing I believed and had sympathy at the time (though I question the incident now.) Well, here's the funny part, the girlfriend's sister actually comes to him and says that she actually kissed another guy again. He was like "we're through," and broke up with her and then said afterwards that he found out he can pass the part of the GED he failed--math. He went on at the same time to me saying he was going to college to be a history professor and all that. I was enthused about him and supported his education by giving him stuff to study like for the ACTs and all. I got him books and CDs now she was out of the picture. I almost felt a little attracted to him because he valued his education more with no distractions now realizing he learnt his lesson.
A few months later, I see him walking by with the ex. They were back together?! I looked at him like "What?!" He seemed to not want to talk about it. The mom comes by and says they're back together. I want to smack that boy upside the head!
What is very odd is I see a correlation between the girlfriend and her father. Let me explain. I have a friend of mine who spoke to me about this father who works as an usher. She spoke of history where this man was saying he wanted to talk to her privately. She (a single female in her 30s) says "I don't want to talk to you. You're married." He never spoke to her after that. The wife now stares at her sometimes and the husband working at the moment she says undresses her with his eyes. The apple does not fall too far from the tree now does it?
So my other correlation is perhaps my guy friend is insecure due to perhaps abandonment issues? The father is a cheater and the girlfriend does it, too?
Like I said, is there any insight into what I have said I can do or is there any insight from anyone else's point of view you guys can point out?
