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[MBTI General] short rant on NFs

sakuraba

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
371
MBTI Type
(y)
Enneagram
7w8
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
For people who are so "people-orientated"

I'm not convinced that this is a necessary part of being an NF. I'm not that people-orientated at all. By anyone's standards.


Oops, I talked about myself!
 

zarc

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
2,629
MBTI Type
Zzzz
^ Hey, no worries. You're an INFP. Being people oriented isn't required of you guys. ;)

Then again, sakuraba knows well enough, through his/her experience all about NFs. Or of ENPs. So, just maybe you're supposed to be people oriented, ahhh!

Though of course, this is a rant.. so /shrug.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

That's okay, then they can be more open and flex for all the different ENT masks personas. ;)
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hmm, bad experience with certain NFs mayhaps?

Ya think? ;)

He's lucky you're all NFs. Otherwise you might have clubbed him like a baby seal.
 

MindBlow

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
19
MBTI Type
INFJ
Nah, I like baby seals (so I'd club him another way) ;)
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
...These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".
It sounds like you've met some really flaky individuals. NF doesn't equal flake so much as spoilt, self-centered, indulged person = flake.

It's easy to find a negative personal quality and then label it so it is avoidable in the future. Unfortunately, the behavior you describe is not limited to type. If you swear off all NFs, you will still encounter selfish and undependable people, and will miss out on some individuals who are quite the opposite of what you describe.

At any rate, sorry to hear about your misfortune with certain people. I've experienced the same thing, and it is seriously unfun.
 

SolitaryPenguin

Active member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
824
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

Enough about you, let's talk about me.




But seriously, maybe we talk about ourselves because we're arrogant, selfish pricks who think our lives are more interesting and our problems are more important?

Or, perhaps you've just encountered some douchebags, because most of the NFs I have ever met or talked to are as selfless as they come. Myself excluded, I am an arrogant, selfish prick.
 

tenINsFJ

Permabanned
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
479
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w9
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

I have a lot of close friends. While I stayed in town after high school, all my friends went East Coast and are now in Europe studying abroad. When we see each other during the summer and winter breaks, we hang out and it's always like we never didn't see each other. We talk probably every month to catch up. We are still close friends after 9 years.

As for being selfish, I don't really think you can classify ALL NFs as being selfish. When I had my first job I donated 80% of my paychecks to charity(I was living at home). I always give to the homeless. If someone ever drops anything I am the first person on the ground picking up their item. If I'm ever on the phone(I hate the phone much rather talk in person), I am never talking about myself. I am always stimulating conversation by asking the person about themselves or what's going on with them. I'm much interested in what other people have to say than me speaking about my own thoughts or feelings.

Yes I DID have the stay in a bad relationship syndrome, but I would call it clingyness. The reason I stayed in the relationship is because I knew she would cry and flip and throw a tantrum if I ended it, and I figured at the cost my slight unhappiness, I could bring her joy. Everyone said I was the one getting abused in the relationship and how weird she was, but no way I could try to hurt her.

As for relationships. I have only had 1 real girlfriend because since I can remember, I have always been looking for a girl that I know has potential to be the one I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I have no potential to be a cheater, and would always be faithful. I pretty much take everything serious such as kissing and above that. I'm a pretty loyal NF guy.

I never lean on anyone, and I never ask for anything, ever. I don't lean on anyone for emotional stability or friendship. All my friends and co-workers come to me for advice cause I'm usually good with it(sorry not being conceited). It's rarely my going out to tell people about my problems mainly cause I'd feel that most people don't want to hear it(weird).

So I really have no clue what you're talking about. I don't think all NFs are how you described. Maybe they lied.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".


Oh please. Any type can be self-centered. They all have their own way of jumping the shark. And who doesn't stay with someone they think they love and want to help? All are guilty of that at some point.

When both my ENTPs left, I cried for MONTHS. I don't go half-way. I'm a lifer and they totally gutted me. I don't get the inconstancy. AT ALL.

If NFs are flakes, NTs are heartless. (Not that I believe either bitter assertion as truth whatsoever).
 

Desert Flower

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
67
These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendnship because they need to "find themself and start over".

That sucks. I'm sorry if your friend(s) did this to you. Perhaps, you should bluntly explain to them how you feel... nothing bothers an NF more than realizing their actions were unjust.
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

Fart, and you'll feel better. Trust me. :tongue10:
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
sakuraba, maybe you are hanging out with unhealthy NFs? We can be hell on wheels if we aren't balanced out.

I take my time in picking life-long friends and I keep them. Except for three who were foisted on me in kindergarten - a minister, a missionary and a farmer/truck driver. A motley crew indeed, and we've been tight for fifty-five years.

And I was none too healthy nor developed an INFP for decades. Guess they were the tolerant ones in this case.

My point being that friendships take discernment and effort to last.

In those cases of my old friends apparently they discerned I was worth hanging on to!

It also depends on what you mean by loyalty. In popular culture that could mean different things to different people. If it's about "things" then that focus can be shaky with anyone.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
I am fully aware I won't get any brownie points for saying this, so please note my reckless disregard for my own social status. :)

The OP makes a degree of sense. In my observations, NFs, moreso than NT, SJ, and SP, are capable of justifying whatever they do, whether the actions are impulsive or premeditated. The strong tendency to trust Feeling coupled with the lack of respect for convention can lead NFs to follow whatever whims please them, and still believe their righteousness to be consistently impeccable.
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
Amen. I've seen it, Jack. Not a pretty sight. Self-destruction in progress.

When NFs "go bad" they are indeed hell's own angels. Crafty little souls.

When it comes to making friends with them it's a matter of learning how to spot 'em. Yeah?
 

Lateralus

New member
Joined
May 18, 2007
Messages
6,262
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w4
The OP makes a degree of sense. In my observations, NFs, moreso than NT, SJ, and SP, are capable of justifying whatever they do, whether the actions are impulsive or premeditated. The strong tendency to trust Feeling coupled with the lack of respect for convention can lead NFs to follow whatever whims please them, and still believe their righteousness to be consistently impeccable.
You can construct arguments describing how all temperaments could behave that way. I thought MBTI was about information gathering and processing, not behavior.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
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type
You can construct arguments describing how all temperaments could act that way.
Of course I could, and exceptionally well. But it doesn't match my observations, so it wouldn't please me to do so: Big difference between INTP and ENTJ.
 
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