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  1. #1

    Default What INFPs need to tell themselves

    Last edited by lostlanguage; 06-08-2012 at 03:23 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    Just be yourself. Thats what being an infp is all about.
    A Fox isn't sly. He just can't think any slower.

  3. #3


    “I’m doing nothing. My life is perfect” (I don’t have to “live large” or prove anything to anyone)

    “Good enough for government work” (No need to be a people-pleaser or perfectionist)

    “Undertake campaigns to add meaning” (There is still "me-time" left over in the day after satisfying the world’s requirements,. Figure out what’s important to me and generate projects to pursue: Exercise and weight loss goals, outings and day trips, social groups and events, etc.)

    “Work on boundaries to be more effective” (Working on my Fe and Te)

  4. #4
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx


    Most of these messages are actually beneficial for functioning well in society. I say that instead of simply disregarding them, take the advice and adapt to your surroundings; you don't have to sell your soul doing that, people admire sincerity and empathy a lot more that you seem to want to admit.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    Most of these messages are actually beneficial for functioning well in society. I say that instead of simply disregarding them, take the advice and adapt to your surroundings; you don't have to sell your soul doing that, people admire sincerity and empathy a lot more that you seem to want to admit.
    Good point.

    Naturally, everyone has to grow up and join the real world. But it can be a tough process. Any personality type can detest the 9-to-5 rat race for a variety of reasons.

    Usually people learn to put up with the rat race by developing coping strategies. So maybe a more productive way to handle this thread would be for INFPs to share their coping strategies. My previous post was somewhat along that line.

  6. #6
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009


    [QUOTE=Kitsune413;1866478]Just be yourself. [QUOTE]

    What else can you do?

  7. #7
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    "What's in it for me?"
    If you can't beat them, go for the super-selfish mode
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  8. #8
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    4w5 sp/sx
    IEI Ni


    Look past the shallow platitudes & see what people are really getting at before you dig your heels in & reject the world.

    -You have to look good
    Translation: People are visual creatures & they DO form impressions that are influenced by your appearance. It's in your best interest to develop a physical image that communicates who you are in a positive way. This doesn't mean "not being you", but showing that you respect yourself in how you groom & carry yourself. A lot of INFPs who take an interest in their appearance craft really unique, cool styles that others admire. I've actually never met an INFP in person who didn't use their dress as a personal form of expression that others respond to positively.

    -It is important to be loud and attract admiration
    Translation: You have to make your existence known & interact with people if you want to form relationships. This doesn't mean being loud & doing whatever it takes to be admired, but being a silent wallflower & hoping someone takes pity on your or becomes fascinated by how mysterious you are (insert some other INFPish fantasy) doesn't usually work either.... You have to make some effort, that's all.

    -Social conventions are the basis of society
    Translation: A lot of things you take for granted in day to day life that makes it easier are "social conventions". They do maintain order & support smooth, harmonious interactions with people. Some of them don't. Choose your battles. Conventions aren't all evil; they're like language in a way - there's a commonly accepted set of grammar rules & words people use to communicate. If you don't adhere to accepted usages at all, then you can't really communicate with people.

    -Being rich is better than being poor, spiritually and for the betterment of oneself
    Well, being rich might be better than being poor, but not at the expense of spirituality & being a good person, true. This is definitely a skewed value we're presented with, and it's one of those battles you choose to fight. IMO, it's okay to not want a "career", but you also have to make sure you can support yourself in whatever lifestyle you choose to have. Last I checked, being an irresponsible mooch isn't really "nice" towards others.

    -It is stupid to consider other people
    -Imagining things is dumb unless it makes you money
    -It's better to be well-loved than sincere
    -It is more important to be assertive and in control than nice
    IDK, I honestly haven't heard all of these before.... Frankly, I've found the opposite true in life in regards to most of these (being kind & considerate will win you friends, REAL ones), but then maybe it depends on what your goals are.... As I mentioned above, you just have to choose your battles, or not even view them as battles, but recognize that you have the ability to choose a different way.

    I admit, my knee jerk reaction was to say something semi-sarcastic because I can get that way as a defense to my earnest side, but instead, I will tell you what I say to myself... I generally do "thought replacement", where I replace negative thoughts about myself with positive, but TRUE ones (because my thoughts about myself are way worse than anything I hear from "society").
    I might say something like...
    "I have something of value to offer other people, as a daughter/sister/friend/employee/girlfriend/whatever." Then I might consider what it is I have to offer, instead of focusing on where I lack.
    "I may not be X or Y, but I DO have these strengths: [list them]".
    "It's okay if I'm not perfect. No one else is either, and I still like/admire them." This is not to gloss over flaws & not seek to improve as a person, but you can't really improve if you're just beating yourself up all the time.
    "I may not have X, but it's not as important to me as Y, which I DO have." Keep your priorities straight. Any skewed values that society seems to push are easily brushed off when you focus on what is really important to YOU. These things will seem silly by contrast, and instead of being bothered by it, you might even feel sorry for those caught up in it.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #9
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    They just have to tell themselves that they suck and accept that it is true.

    /end story.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.

    Conclusion: Dinosaurs

  10. #10

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