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[MBTI General] Why don't people love themselves?

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
seriously. why do people need all these reasons and external validations to love themselves. why don't they just say "I love myself dammit!" and be done with it? money is nice, prestige is nice, friends are nice, beauty is nice, intelligence is nice. if you want to get as much of these things as you can, be my guest, but why are any of these things necessary for people to love themselves?
 

Viridian

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
3,036
MBTI Type
IsFJ
Sometimes they grow up in dire emotional circumstances and feel unwanted - parental or peer pressure can be useful, but also harmful to one's self-image. That's known as "internalization".

There's also messages in the media - concerning women, for instance: "Your body is inadequate." "Be like this or you'll die alone and unloved." "Your sexual behavior reflects your worth as a person." (It also targets other minorities and majorities, like the whole "men dont cry" thing.)

It's complex. Now, me? No excuse but my own mopeyness. ;)
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Without the existence of these validations they could be living a lie.

So, would you rather: Live that lie, or be true to yourself?

There is something to be said about being able to point to something and saying this is why I can be proud of myself, find worth in myself, and love myself.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have a love hate dislike relationship with myself.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I suppose what I am getting at is why it seems having proof of your love isn't considered real, or true.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
but what does it have to do with typology?!? Are certain types more-or-less likely to love themselves?:cry:
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Everyone is born into the world wanting to be fully accepted and loved unconditionally. Somewhere in the scheme of things, be it the care-giver/some external deficiency or simply the perceivers misconception.. the fear arises that love comes with conditions. Ideally it shouldn't be this way and is not the case for everyone.. but I'd be willing to say that many people have experienced some degree of conditional love at some point. It is not uncommon for a person to begin to see themselves as the world sees them.

Alot of this goes back to how value is established, and many times we see it established through an external standard.
It also goes back to ones ability to reconcile these external measurements with an inherent internal value, which can be very confusing and difficult to hold up in a world where we see people starve, suffer and die every day for power and greed.

I'm just going to add that most of the people I know do not belong to either extreme, they tend to love and hate various aspects of themselves.. and sometimes this can be a good thing because disatisfaction with aspects of oneself can set the framework for improvement and growth which aids purpose and meaning in life.
 

IceBlock

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2011
Messages
110
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
?
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I love being myself... but there's a problem. Since I was a child, I have been usually well received and accepted anywhere. People always make compliments to me, and I'm normally liked and admired. But when this don't happen, I get really frustrated with it and react really bad. These times are the times when I don't like myself, and a several months run of self-analysis begins, with me eventually getting better.

Even though I eventually have some problems with myself, I do love being who I am. I love being a male human, I love my interests and abilities. I like my multiple and abrangent talents, my creativity and ability to deal with people. I love being an ENFP.
 
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Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
You can't choose who your heart will love. :p
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Lots of reasons. 1) attachment issues 2) because you physically feel differently when you're under different life circumstances/neurologies 3) Because you get more of what you want when people treat you better 4) because secretly you have a dream of the "ideal" person you'd like to be. The more your actuality differs from your ideal t
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2008
Messages
2,706
MBTI Type
ZNTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Because some people refuse to practice unconditional love.
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
seriously. why do people need all these reasons and external validations to love themselves. why don't they just say "I love myself dammit!" and be done with it? money is nice, prestige is nice, friends are nice, beauty is nice, intelligence is nice. if you want to get as much of these things as you can, be my guest, but why are any of these things necessary for people to love themselves?

Do you always talk to yourself out loud?
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I really don't understand the purpose of this thread.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
Body image issues and a general sense that they have accomplished nothing.
 
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