• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] single ENFJ women

Zhuli Lily Askar

New member
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
184
Just any mid aged ENFJ women who would seem to type who probably wanted but didn't get married. What would be the most likely reason? I know it's so in general but what would seem to be a more likely reason for say the typical ENFJ? Ask any specific questions that may help, I'll see if I can answer.
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think they have high standards and are often very accomplished so they feel a sense of "I am hot, smart, and funny!" That just doesn't appeal to most men.

Note: This is not because men are "intimidated" by them or because they prefer "stupid and hot" women to more intellectual ones. When I say accomplished, I mean for their social rank. Often I think they try to climb "above their station" on the social ladder kind of like esfp's do, but subconsciously
 

Zhuli Lily Askar

New member
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
184
I think they have high standards and are often very accomplished so they feel a sense of "I am hot, smart, and funny!" That just doesn't appeal to most men.

Note: This is not because men are "intimidated" by them or because they prefer "stupid and hot" women to more intellectual ones. When I say accomplished, I mean for their social rank. Often I think they try to climb "above their station" on the social ladder kind of like esfp's do, but subconsciously

Oh, I see the specific person I'm thinking of does tend to have some kind of fascination with the students with high social rank here. (she's a highschool teacher) She's intensely private unless you impress her or the conversation naturally steers that way. But under that she's a very nice person who is so fast paced it's kind of unnerving. I'm not sure if she's a bragger either but she definitely is concerned about where she stands and likes high ranking people but is not snobby and still is fair to all others. I admit I'm curious about her. I wonder if she became a teacher to utilize her skills and express herself since she isn't married.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
My ENFJ close friend has been married for years but her reasons for marrying him crack me up. She chose the only guy who didn't care about her, amongst a substantial selection of suitors. She pursued him relentlessly until she got him.
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Why don't you try and get to know her?
 

Zhuli Lily Askar

New member
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
184
My ENFJ close friend has been married for years but her reasons for marrying him crack me up. She chose the only guy who didn't care about her, amongst a substantial selection of suitors. She pursued him relentlessly until she got him.

Why?
 

Zhuli Lily Askar

New member
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
184
Why don't you try and get to know her?

I know her more than most of the others but still to ask her questions like that especially when she is intensely private and I don't think I'd know what to say. She is really interesting to me. Unlike most people. I don't know how to approach her even when I talk to her frequently. It doesn't occur on purpose. I'm super shy but she's nice most of the time. Any idea why she likes me and I talk to her a lot but she avoids me more often. She seems to think I'm smart so she doesn't need to pay attention to me but when I walk into her room and ask her questions and nobody is there she still tells me she is busy. Like always. Is this the usual for many ENFJs? Ughhhh I'm just whining. WHINING.
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yeah this person is definitely disinterested. Do not pursue. Pull a girl move and work on "self improvement" (workout and begin wearing tighter clothes lol). Then lock and load
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Oh, well you want to fuck her juat so you know. Either act on it or don't, your choice.
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Oh haha. You still want to do her though.

Edit: I thought you were in university.
 

Joehobo

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
........One of us isn't getting the point. She's my....highschool teacher??

Consider it from her point of view. Do you think she would find it appropriate to pay more attention to you among the other students?
Probably even less so if she feels like you are trying to figure her out on a more personal level.
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My ENFJ close friend has been married for years but her reasons for marrying him crack me up. She chose the only guy who didn't care about her, amongst a substantial selection of suitors. She pursued him relentlessly until she got him.
Interesting. Maybe that's part of the reason why the ENFJ+INTP combo is so common.
 

Zhuli Lily Askar

New member
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
184
Consider it from her point of view. Do you think she would find it appropriate to pay more attention to you among the other students?
Probably even less so if she feels like you are trying to figure her out on a more personal level.

Yeah, I just find her to be super unique and enjoy having conversations with her. But can't really ask her anything and feel that she'd eventually find a reason to be suspicious and it wouldn't be worth it at all. She is so Fe. No way I don't think she would ever find that appropriate but she still does...when nobody is in the room. Yeah I think she'd feel bothered it I was trying to figure her out but she seems open when I see her talking with other teachers. She is kind of judgmental that way. I think she thinks no matter what teenagers can cause more trouble than trusting them is worth. And she is too quick. Sometimes she gets the wrong idea or it too fussy, or is just way too smothering. She is extremely sensitive as well. So I have to be careful. Are these typical ENFJ traits or it's just her? She's the only one I know for sure.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I know that I am very sensitive and suspicious of people. Oh and don't forget private. It's controlled openness... if you know what I mean. Knowledge is power and people can screw you over quite easily if you trust too easily.... that's how I see it.
 

Joehobo

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yeah, I just find her to be super unique and enjoy having conversations with her. But can't really ask her anything and feel that she'd eventually find a reason to be suspicious and it wouldn't be worth it at all. She is so Fe. No way I don't think she would ever find that appropriate but she still does...when nobody is in the room. Yeah I think she'd feel bothered it I was trying to figure her out but she seems open when I see her talking with other teachers. She is kind of judgmental that way. I think she thinks no matter what teenagers can cause more trouble than trusting them is worth. And she is too quick. Sometimes she gets the wrong idea or it too fussy, or is just way too smothering. She is extremely sensitive as well. So I have to be careful. Are these typical ENFJ traits or it's just her? She's the only one I know for sure.

Well maybe as you get older she'll be more inclined to indulge you in your interest, but I wouldn't hold onto that.
If she doesn't want to get close to you, she won't. I can see why you find an ENFJ/personality such as hers intriguing, I find ENFJ types intriguing also, dunno why - because half the time they also seem to annoy the shit out of me. That's after I get close to them though, I guess I get too comfortable and expect too much. :shrug:
I don't think she is exactly being judgemental, just trying to be appropriate, and she was also a teenager once, common sense says to not trust a student with too much. She sounds like ENFJ's I know.
 

Joehobo

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I know that I am very sensitive and suspicious of people. Oh and don't forget private. It's controlled openness... if you know what I mean. Knowledge is power and people can screw you over quite easily if you trust too easily.... that's how I see it.

Random question but, do you ever feel like you're more vulnerable (or have suffered more pain from) those closest to you, and not as much by those you are romantically involved with? If so, would say that you find this to be an ENFJ trait. Theoretically speaking.
 
Top