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[INFJ] Female INFJs - surprisingly girly?

1487610420

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Huh, I must say that this thread came as a bit of a surprise. I'm full out INFJ, yet I'm probably the furthest thing you'll ever find from a girly girl. I've been an huge tom boy since day one, was regularly mistaken as a guy all throughout middle school, and now in college I've been called the most "gender-neutral" person in the world on more than one occasion (not something I'm proud of, but alas). Everyone was always waiting for me to get beyond the "phase" and blossom into the traditional miss priss throughout my childhood, but that never happened. I never wear dresses, I never wear makeup, my attire consists of black t-shirts, black jeans, and converse. I used to skateboard religiously, I used to practice martial arts (and still would had I not developed breathing issues), I play guitar, I don't like shopping, and I've never been fond of chick flicks/overtly sappy love stories. I love kids, but I've never felt a "motherly" bond or desire to form such.

That being said, I wouldn't really coin myself as masculine either. All my friends are girls, I move like a cat, and my thought process and emotions are very feminine. I'm just me, I fit no gender roles.

snowflake-emoticon.gif

:popc1:
 

Cimarron

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Most of the INFJs I know/can think of are so strong with their N* that "being girly" doesn't really occur them, let alone appeal to them. However, the Fe-effect could drag back in some factors that would lead them to appear "traditionally" girly, in a lot of circumstances. I think I get what you mean. Not sure which way it balances out; I'm inclined not to think of INFJs as "girly."

*Though the N could be used to dwell very much on what it means to be "girly," that's true, too.
 
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Salomé

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What's surprising about this? They are only 1 letter away from archetypal femininity.
INFJ men are feminine too.
 
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I'm quite feminine. I've always preferred wearing dresses and skirts, even to the point of stubbornness (wearing them when it's 10 degrees outside and snowing). Overall, I don't embrace traditional female roles, though, as I consider them to be boring and conformist.
 

iwakar

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I don't subscribe to hairy pits or bad shoes in my journey of self-actualization. That's fine for many folks, but I think I can fight the good fight and look damn good doing it.

I think most INFJs enjoy paradoxes.
 

Lexicon

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I don't subscribe to hairy pits or bad shoes in my journey of self-actualization. That's fine for many folks, but I think I can fight the good fight and look damn good doing it.

I think most INFJs enjoy paradoxes.

Paradoxes & irony <3
 

Reverie

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I'm quite feminine. I've always preferred wearing dresses and skirts, even to the point of stubbornness (wearing them when it's 10 degrees outside and snowing). Overall, I don't embrace traditional female roles, though, as I consider them to be boring and conformist.
This.

I don't subscribe to hairy pits or bad shoes in my journey of self-actualization. That's fine for many folks, but I think I can fight the good fight and look damn good doing it.

I think most INFJs enjoy paradoxes.
And this.

I realize many men I know think I'm very feminine, but usually I'm also the only woman around. I have "manly" interests. My accessorizing tip for ladies: When everyone else standing next to you are huge bearded bikers you always look like a petite flower, so this season, to look extra feminine, accessorize with a bunch of bikers. ;)
 

Vilku

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girly.. =O? well, if you consider that deep cutting lazer sharp razor eyes feminine, while male infj less often promote it into their papearance. but i do love the look of it, giving a bit of julian asange look on males who promote it. although they rarely do, i guess there would be to blame the sheer creepiness those lazer cutting femininehh eyes give. "i see your soul!"-look .. =/ (while i may love it, i doubt the insecure egoistic people do.. just if you infj's would hear how they complain behind your back how creepy you are.. -.- .. and how manipulative you are.. -.- its the aura of being powerless next to you why they complain of such things.)

while if feminine equals surface, then i suppose infj's are femine, but i consider a person for who they are in inside, the extro functions are a mere communication tool.


Paradoxes & irony <3

[MENTION=179]iwakar[/MENTION]

may i ask, is it creating paradoxes or solving them? cause i see a solution to every paradox pretty quickly, while i do enjoy solving them, but i still find all paradoxes ultimately avoidable and the term itself is quite obsolete as such, but not useless. (paradox, a conflict between expectations and observations, change one until it matches perfectly. for clarification, how i perceive them.)
 

iwakar

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may i ask, is it creating paradoxes or solving them?

Probably both. Problem-solving requires identification and resolution and we seem to fancy that.
 

Amberamaris

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I'm quite feminine. I've always preferred wearing dresses and skirts, even to the point of stubbornness (wearing them when it's 10 degrees outside and snowing). Overall, I don't embrace traditional female roles, though, as I consider them to be boring and conformist.

I could relate to this answer. I like nice clothes but flow my ideas of fashion style.
I don like all traditional roles of woman. I can not judge my self objectively,

for example
- my ex point of view was that I didn't looked enough feminine and graceful, my walk wasn't soft enough, he thought I could do more in esthetic improvement of my look which in practice meant to do my nails precisely, to tan, to dye honey blonde and to have modern hair cut, to invest much more in my outer appearance he thought I am dressing old fashioned like a granny. He used to say if people on street dont turn when they see you then you are not attractive enough, if they dont smell your parfume meters after you walked then you didn't put enough and to me that was hard to achieve since I hate being in center of attention.

And to my husband I am lady like, resemblance of feminine, graceful, beautiful and he thinks on contrary that I am investing a lot of time into care about my outer look & dress that I should be more relaxed with it and wear what I find comfortable... He thinks that my interests are feminine to (art, decoration, flowers, cooking).

When I compare to some other woman I meet sometimes I am more feminine in way I dress and in my interests. But again I have meet woman who are much more feminine in body movement, fashion and even interests then me so I suppose I somewhere in middle. And about kids - I dont have clear opinion sometimes I am seriously considering having child but that doesn't last long as soon some work has started and I am into some project occupated then I dont even think of them...
 

Istbkleta

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Perhaps it's a matter of perception.
 
V

violaine

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I don't even know how to answer this definitively. For every yes, there's a no - how does one define girly? I prefer to think of myself as womanly anyway. That is, an adult female. I mostly think of myself as me, as opposed to feeling I'm allied with others or anything else, apart from a fairly strong connection to my family. (I most often think of myself as a *insert surname*, though not that often).
 

Froody Blue Gem

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Statistically speaking, there is a higher rate of female feelers. On paper, that may affect someone's feminity I suppose but it depends on the person. I am definitely feminine, but I'm not an extreme girly girl nor have I ever been I was never into fashion and have always hated clothes shopping. And when my friends were obsessing over boy bands in our teen years, I didn't care. Real girly girl movies and shows don't appeal to me-- at all either.

I find clothes shopping to be more of a chore than anything, and I don't particularly want kids. Not so much a tomboy either as I stink at sports so I suppose somewhere inbetween. Once when I was at the mall with a group and wasn't too enthusiastic about shoe shopping and wanted to go somewhere else, someone said, "come on you're female. You're supposed to love that..." :/ I do tend to be very caring and nurturing though so I am feminine in that way.
 

neko 4

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I'm girly in that I don't have short hair and I don't wear masculine clothes. That's all though.
 
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