[ENFP] Common (...ahem, BS) Myths about ENFPs

[Anew Leaf]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], Well, I just find it interesting that you like shouting out how you like to do things, and then you play victim when others don't play according to your rules. You started this thread while you were drunk and didn't like the direction it took. Then you cry foul and start calling everyone passive aggressive and mean to you.

If you can't take it, then don't dish it out.

 

[professor goodstain]

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves
only in hindsight. in the moment, the observer of that observation declared that assumption days later...inhindsight.

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships
similar to 1). the enfp gave a vibe, perhaps with something/s (kick ass animation w/context to bring the observer/s to a certain time when an animated description took place) which, later on (hindsight) energized all's ego block that where around at the time of the crime scene that the enfp had some good shit rollin and couldn't be topped. which, in turn, sufaced as hindsight due to the observers remembering it not being able to be topped. thus, overrun. it was not an attempt by the enfp to steal a show. the show was just stolen. proof?? did the enfp show up for the next gathering? no.

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them
lol

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"
hmmm

5) ENFPs love everyone
only those who promote perpetuity. few and far between

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
until it counts


7) ENFPs are always happy
on the surface...to promote perpetuity. until around age 40, lol

8) ENFPs have difficulty with keeping their emotions out of the way when a logical decision needs to be made
example? of course, never see one

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

I agree. I hate the stereotypes ENFPs have.

 

[Thalassa]

I agree. I hate the stereotypes ENFPs have.

ESFP stereotypes are worse. Apparently they're only useful for handjobs, according to Mal.

 

[Joehobo]

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"

5) ENFPs love everyone

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings

7) ENFPs are always happy

8) ENFPs have difficulty with keeping their emotions out of the way when a logical decision needs to be made

I'm not going to stereotype every ENFP, but this made me laugh as it fits the ENFP I know perfectly.

 

[sculpting]

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves

No, rarely.

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships

I have several close friends, but have never been particularly extroverted in the people sense-I am fascinated by the external world and connections within it-people are a small apart of that external world

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them

So fail...I gave up on this when I was about ten...it was like a pointless effort, so at some point I decided I just did not care anymore. Likely this has given me enormous fortitude as I just ignore most of what the world thinks I should do and then strive forward to accomplish my goals.

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"

Sometimes, when single. But once in a relationship, it is like concrete.

5) ENFPs love everyone

no. I love people in the general sense of humanity, and those I am close to. However individuals have an interesting hapbit of being obnoxious judgemental douchebags.

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
My observations is that outside of Te-bitchslaps we tend to bend when others break. This means we just keep going, no matter how hard it gets...Since we have the blessing of being relatively free from the constraints of social censure, we can acconplish fairly amazing things-because we never listen when people tell us we cant.

7) ENFPs are always happy

When alone in the woods I am hapy, when holding my child I am happy, when dealing with other stuff, not at all. The world would be great if not for all the people in it. *evil scientist snickers*

8) ENFPs have difficulty with keeping their emotions out of the way when a logical decision needs to be made

yeah-this is learned over time and is never absolute but we manage to get by.

Since you still refuse to address the content of my original post, I'll tell you for the third time — the only person you can speak for is yourself. You're not the ENFP spokesman. If you were capable of being reasonable, you would have simply posted: "You're right. I can only speak for myself." And that would have been the end of it.

This thread is one of many where you seem to equate Elfboy with all ENFPs despite the fact that Fi is highly subjective and can vary greatly from one person to the next. But for some bizarre reason, you take it upon yourself to speak for all of them.

I think this is just an aspect of Ne analysis, not elfboy being totally obnoxious-Ne looks to abstract common patterns from things being studied and then establish a generalization. Then the model is presented for feedback. He built his model and now we are all giving him feedback on it. He will rebuild his model taking into account feedback and build a better model.

Over the years I have seen many enfps voice discontent at the enfp descriptions, as elfboy is doing-thus he isnt alone in his initial concern, and feedback from other enfps can constitute data to rebuild the model more correctly

A better model could be built by incorporating instinctual variants and then perhaps the actual enneagram types to flesh out the different ways the underlying cognitive functions may get expressed-lost of complicated work, of debious ROI.

I think this strict sterotypical version of MBTI is part of the reason the system is flawed-there is no flexibility built in for personal variance and no room for growth within each personality type. So while I can agree on the underlying cognitive framework, MBTI is pretty screwed up. Elfboy seeks to replace one set of characteristics with another, likely not the ptimal solution, but at least it exposes the variance between the two models.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], Well, I just find it interesting that you like shouting out how you like to do things, and then you play victim when others don't play according to your rules. You started this thread while you were drunk and didn't like the direction it took. Then you cry foul and start calling everyone passive aggressive and mean to you.

If you can't take it, then don't dish it out.

LOL is this your little attempt at provocation/"revenge" (as you so eloquently put in your user title)?
- passive aggression
- feeling provoked by blunt, impersonal statements and reacting with ad hominem (thinking I was "dishing it out")
- insertion of false motives/mild gas lighting ("playing the victim", "dishing it out" etc)

hun, you couldn't provoke a starving pit bull. the most you've made me feel of anything in this thread is moderate annoyance. normally I encourage INFPs to use more Te, but it just isn't working for you here. I'm not sure what your original intentions were, but this half-assed, out of character attempt at provocation does not suit you, so let's just let this stupid thread close and be done with it. it was clear from the start it wasn't getting anywhere.

 

[Butterfly]

OMG, I wanna kill the person who wrote the description of ENFPs. It is so inaccurate! Its like we are these creatures on some Everready battery that never dies, jumping around in our fluffy pink tutus and catching butterflies!
I mean pleassseeee. There is a serious, deep and melancholic side to us! I say its majority of the time actually. It doesnt mean Im depressed. It just means I think a lot!!

So most ENFP descriptions leave me cold.

 

[Viridian]

ESFP stereotypes are worse. Apparently they're only useful for handjobs, according to Mal.

Ooooh boy. Remember that thread Perch made?

I think this is just an aspect of Ne analysis, not elfboy being totally obnoxious-Ne looks to abstract common patterns from things being studied and then establish a generalization. Then the model is presented for feedback. He built his model and now we are all giving him feedback on it. He will rebuild his model taking into account feedback and build a better model.

Over the years I have seen many enfps voice discontent at the enfp descriptions, as elfboy is doing-thus he isnt alone in his initial concern, and feedback from other enfps can constitute data to rebuild the model more correctly

A better model could be built by incorporating instinctual variants and then perhaps the actual enneagram types to flesh out the different ways the underlying cognitive functions may get expressed-lost of complicated work, of debious ROI.

I think this strict sterotypical version of MBTI is part of the reason the system is flawed-there is no flexibility built in for personal variance and no room for growth within each personality type. So while I can agree on the underlying cognitive framework, MBTI is pretty screwed up. Elfboy seeks to replace one set of characteristics with another, likely not the ptimal solution, but at least it exposes the variance between the two models.

I agree with this. EB could have phrased it better...

 

[skylights]

I think this is just an aspect of Ne analysis, not elfboy being totally obnoxious-Ne looks to abstract common patterns from things being studied and then establish a generalization. Then the model is presented for feedback. He built his model and now we are all giving him feedback on it. He will rebuild his model taking into account feedback and build a better model.

Over the years I have seen many enfps voice discontent at the enfp descriptions, as elfboy is doing-thus he isnt alone in his initial concern, and feedback from other enfps can constitute data to rebuild the model more correctly

A better model could be built by incorporating instinctual variants and then perhaps the actual enneagram types to flesh out the different ways the underlying cognitive functions may get expressed-lost of complicated work, of debious ROI.

I think this strict sterotypical version of MBTI is part of the reason the system is flawed-there is no flexibility built in for personal variance and no room for growth within each personality type. So while I can agree on the underlying cognitive framework, MBTI is pretty screwed up. Elfboy seeks to replace one set of characteristics with another, likely not the ptimal solution, but at least it exposes the variance between the two models.

Indeed. @ bold - good idea!

I have to agree with those saying these don't seem to be very well representative of our type as a whole, but are more personal.

As an individual - I do wear my heart on my sleeve (though I try not to disturb others); I am not a social butterfly but do have a hard time maintaining long-term friendships; I do care about what others think of me - deeply, with some people; I am not a slut but I do love frequent sex; I do have loving compassion for everyone, even if I don't want to be around them 24/7; I am not gutless and chasing butterflies is not nice; I am definitely not always happy; I do struggle with keeping emotions out of my decisions.

I do get particularly frustrated with the happy-go-lucky stereotype when I am really quite a broody person. I even get that stereotype IRL because I tend to hide my srs face, even though I really am serious most of the time.

I also think [MENTION=13402]Saturned[/MENTION] had an interesting one with "They create mountains out of molehills." I've been accused of this before. I tend to think that I point out patterns of molehills, and others take that as me making a mountain. It's just that if I see the same thing over and over, it is a big deal. I suspect that this can feel like making mountains out of molehills for others who don't focus as much on patterns. To me, a pattern indicates something about the future, and is important to point out.

 

[Anew Leaf]

LOL is this your little attempt at provocation/"revenge" (as you so eloquently put in your user title)?
- passive aggression
- feeling provoked by blunt, impersonal statements and reacting with ad hominem (thinking I was "dishing it out")
- insertion of false motives/mild gas lighting ("playing the victim", "dishing it out" etc)

@Bold: No, it's a song I like and got into my head this week thanks to an episode of a TV show. Reading too much into something, See: Jumping to Conclusions/ Making Mountains out of Molehills.

Do you even know what "ad hominem" means? Let me help you:

ad ho·mi·nem
   [ad hom-uh-nuhm ‐nem, ahd-] Show IPA
adjective
1.
appealing to one's prejudices, emotions, or special interests rather than to one's intellect or reason.
2.
attacking an opponent's character rather than answering his argument.

At the first definition, you should probably read your drunken OP again:

Common (...ahem, BS) Myths about ENFPs

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"

5) ENFPs love everyone

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
PUH-LEEZ
you really want to witness the true power of an ENFP? put a child or one of our friends in danger. you WILL feel the wrath of the mighty tempest that is Fi as it cascades merciless judgement upon thee! ENFPs are knights of justice and defenders of the weak and innocent and, if pushed, will give any ENTJ a run for their money.

Edit: I've taken down the descriptions, except for number 6, which I believe is true of all ENFPs.


now, for some more

7) ENFPs are always happy

8) ENFPs have difficulty with keeping their emotions out of the way when a logical decision needs to be made

hun, you couldn't provoke a starving pit bull. the most you've made me feel of anything in this thread is moderate annoyance. normally I encourage INFPs to use more Te, but it just isn't working for you here. I'm not sure what your original intentions were, but this half-assed, out of character attempt at provocation does not suit you, so let's just let this stupid thread close and be done with it. it was clear from the start it wasn't getting anywhere.

For #2, we have several posts in here where you attempt to personally attack by claiming I am being passive aggressive, and "half-assed", etc. You sure like to wave the flag of "I am so bad-ass" but you really haven't proved that anywhere on this forum. I honestly don't think you know what true Te is. You think Te is about telling everyone how bad ass you are and amazing and how you deserve so much attention. Meanwhile you continue to be one of the most unselfaware posters on this forum frequently making stupid and ignorant arguments.

Unlike you I don't post with any pretense or persona or ulterior motive to show the world how not pathetic I am. I don't create threads whining about how lonely I am and about how much attention I need or fifteen versions of what type am I this week. What I am on this forum is exactly who I am in real life.

 

[Starry]

Elfboy...I wish you would stop calling for this thread to be closed. I don't always relate to your threads...but I understood exactly what you were attempting to get-at in your OP - and as far as I'm concerned it's a valid thread. And what's cool is that we even got to learn some helpful off-topic info as well. Like...'you're an easy/safe target'...and...'you don't eat at the popular-kids lunch table'...'cause none of us knew that.

This thread is full of win...and while I hope to come back later and consider further/respond to Orobas' & skylight's thoughtful posts...I need to quickly say...you even brought out some of the 'old school'. (which I especially appreciate)! [MENTION=6285]professor goodstain[/MENTION] serving-up some solid-gold up there lmao... and [MENTION=8704]HotpinkHeatwave[/MENTION] and [MENTION=3032]Butterfly[/MENTION] ... it's been far too long...

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=13402]Saturned[/MENTION]
that's exactly it, calling you out on being passive aggressive (which, on the bright sight, you've ceased to be at this point) is calling you out on a tactic not a personal attack, which you have taken personally and it seems like you're now trying to "get me back" or something.

tsk tsk tsk

 

[Anew Leaf]

[MENTION=13402]Saturned[/MENTION]
that's exactly it, calling you out on being passive aggressive (which, on the bright sight, you've ceased to be at this point) is calling you out on a tactic not a personal attack, which you have taken personally and it seems like you're now trying to "get me back" or something.

tsk tsk tsk

And more jumping to conclusions and projecting emotions onto me that I neither feel for display. You really aren't very good at this.

The beauty of you is that you can't help but vomit yourself all over the forum and show your actions despite your words.

What you call passive aggressive was me having some playful fun at your pretentious thread start. You accused me of being upset and then cried to the mods to close your thread.

Inconsistency thy name is Elfboy.



I'm officially done with the thread. Enjoy continuing to prove to the forum what you are not. It seems to be going rather stellar.

 

[Elfboy]

And more jumping to conclusions and projecting emotions onto me that I neither feel for display. You really aren't very good at this.

The beauty of you is that you can't help but vomit yourself all over the forum and show your actions despite your words.

What you call passive aggressive was me having some playful fun at your pretentious thread start. You accused me of being upset and then cried to the mods to close your thread.

Inconsistency thy name is Elfboy.



I'm officially done with the thread. Enjoy continuing to prove to the forum what you are not. It seems to be going rather stellar.

hmm, I may have misinterpreted a few things. either way, glad this unproductive conversation is over

 

[sculpting]

I also think [MENTION=13402]Saturned[/MENTION] had an interesting one with "They create mountains out of molehills." I've been accused of this before. I tend to think that I point out patterns of molehills, and others take that as me making a mountain. It's just that if I see the same thing over and over, it is a big deal. I suspect that this can feel like making mountains out of molehills for others who don't focus as much on patterns. To me, a pattern indicates something about the future, and is important to point out.

Yeah I totally do this as well, although I often find that in the moment, my emotions can feel overwhelming. Nowdays I try and follow the 3-5 day rule before going bonkers about something that might really just be a molehill once I calm down.

My Si really sucks here though as I can be extremely anxious once I see a possible repeat of a pattern of a previous upsetting occurance appear and I become very agitated and my stomach clenches and get super Si prickly. It is extremely difficult to talk myself out of.

shall we start a thread where we try and build enfp enneatype descriptions? We could each describe ourselves and how we feel we differ from the enfp stereotype and how we think it relates to the instinctual variant, enneatype or zodiac or whatever

 

[Elfboy]

this thread is doing much better on personality cafe

http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-for...on-ahem-bs-myths-about-enfps.html#post2438496

 

[stalemate]

where/wear

yw

 

[Glycerine]

^I guess the interpretation of the non-ENFPs and ENFPs is vastly different.

Whenever I go in the ENFJ subforum, I wanna vomit. The subforums seem like another form of confirmation bias helping to reinforce stereotypes.