[ENFP] Nobody Likes Me, ENFP Paranoia

[Azure Flame]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION]

You desire because you are scared you won't have it.

 

[Avocado]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION]

You desire because you are scared you won't have it.

Interesting observation. I agree.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

oh yes all the time, everytime I am with people I think about if they like me, or not, and when I feel like they dislike me, I just have to ask...whyy don't you like me?! Because I can't stand it and usually it just makes me feel like I must be the worst person on earth, when someone doesn't like me...pretty creepy huh

 

[Qlip]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION]

You desire because you are scared you won't have it.

This is an old thread.. I've figured some things out. I feared because I used to think that the one person who didn't like me could see through me, they saw the truth, that I'm completely broken.

 

[Eilonwy]

This is an old thread.. I've figured some things out. I feared because I used to think that the one person who didn't like me could see through me, they saw the truth, that I'm completely broken.

I think this is a profound insight.

 

[ceecee]

oh yes all the time, everytime I am with people I think about if they like me, or not, and when I feel like they dislike me, I just have to ask...whyy don't you like me?! Because I can't stand it and usually it just makes me feel like I must be the worst person on earth, when someone doesn't like me...pretty creepy huh

Do you actually ask people why they don't like you? Or do you just let it ferment? I have an ENFP friend and OMG she is like this. I always ask her...

Did you ask person X why they don't like you?
No.
Why?
I just didn't.
I don't get it.
Do you ask people why they don't like you?
No of course not.
Why not?
Because I know why. I'm a fucking asshole. Everyone knows that.
Doesn't that bother you?
No. That's the difference between you and me.

 

[why not]

I do this.

Like I really want to be that cool, "yeah I don't care what people think" type of person, but I JUST CAN'T

When I was younger (think middle school/early high school) I was very afraid of being annoying (ah low self-esteem), and so I barely talked. So instead of people thinking I'm annoying they thought I was a super quiet and kind of creepy weirdo...

I'm not like that anymore (at least not as much) but sometimes I do overanalyze people's actions and words and assume they mean the worst...oops. It's weird how at one point I can be so uninfluenced by people's opinions (like when I feel like someone is doing something wrong or something mean/I don't agree with I'm not afraid to call them out on it. drives my ISFJ friend insane ) but then at the same time, I really do just want to be understood and liked by people. It's a balancing act I think. Balancing how much I want to be true to myself, but at the same time how much I really like other people and don't want them to not want to be around me.

 

[prplchknz]

I've been spending the last couple years coming out of this very long depression that made me into a quasi-INTP.

I've been getting a lot more social lately, and paranoia has become a prominent feature of my life, and I'm trying to keep it in check. My mind is nearly constantly trying to figure out if certain people like me, and if not, why. It also doesn't help that as I'm coming into my own, I've started to find even more of my ENFP recklessness.

It's not really a crippling condition because I've learned that it really isn't the end of the world if somebody dislikes you. In fact, if everyone does like you, good chances are you are being a bland doormat. But, it is nearly maddning to me to not know why. Any ENFPs here relate, or anybody else?

I used to, but now I'm like meh whatever if you don't like me fine.

 

[Avocado]

Part of my fear is a geniune need to be loved, but there is strategy involved, too. Likable people get the best career options and generally whatever else they want in life.

 

[chubber]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION] would you say you turned into an observer?