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[INFJ] Help me understand my INFJ boss.

S

Society

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a) Who said INFJs are incapable of making bad choices? Please provide an example of where this has been said in this thread.
just a general sense that there's an underlining assumption of "no true INFJ would behave this way" from yours and z black's posts, i'm sorry if i misinterpreted that.

b) How did you get Ni from the first paragraph?
seeking an unqeustionable certain answer from others seems to habitual of those who are used to get those from their own minds, combined with her utter lack of Ne and willigness to explore possibilities.
 

SilkRoad

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just a general sense that there's an underlining assumption of "no true INFJ would behave this way" from yours and z black's posts, i'm sorry if i misinterpreted that.


seeking an unqeustionable certain answer from others seems to habitual of those who are used to get those from their own minds, combined with her utter lack of Ne and willigness to explore possibilities.


I reread those posts and I honestly have no idea where you would have got that from. I don't think I said anything at all about the nature of her decisions or behaviour, just my gut feeling about the type.

Perhaps you are projecting. I hear any type is capable of doing that.

I may need things spelled out to me if they're mathematical/statistical etc. (In most cases, diagrams would confuse me more than help me, though.) I can usually grasp the big picture pretty easily, though - if the details are complex I may need them bullet-pointed. It really depends on the subject.

I don't understand what you said about "seeking an unqeustionable certain answer from others seems to habitual of those who are used to get those from their own minds". What does this mean and how does it relate to Ni?
 
S

Society

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I don't understand what you said about "seeking an unqeustionable certain answer from others seems to habitual of those who are used to get those from their own minds". What does this mean and how does it relate to Ni?
habitual Ni - hyperfocused in finding underlining patterns within patterns and stretching those into a single direction - will bring the Ni user a single conclusion or resolution. for some, possibly those who are more egocentric, this can transelate to expecting the same answers from other people's minds that you get from your own, as impatience with exploring theoretical possibilities, which the OP seems to describe.

I don't think I said anything at all about the nature of her decisions or behaviour, just my gut feeling about the type.
exactly - it seemed to me like you saw something you didn't aprove of and wanted to disassociate yourself from it. again, i could be wrong.

Perhaps you are projecting
projection has become a lovely concept hasn't it? it allows us to deflect everything said about us and be used as a rebuttel with ease. unfortunately, to have a basis you need to recognize something in the other person to be projected in the first place. so what is it that i would be projecting?
 

SilkRoad

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exactly - it seemed to me like you saw something you didn't aprove of and wanted to disassociate yourself from it. again, i could be wrong.

Again: I have no clue where the hell you got that from. Are all your gut feelings about other people an attempt to disassociate yourself from them?

projection has become a lovely concept hasn't it? it allows us to deflect everything said about us and be used as a rebuttel with ease. unfortunately, to have a basis you need to recognize something in the other person to be projected in the first place. so what is it that i would be projecting?

I don't know; perhaps something to do with your relationship questions and a seeming conviction that INFJs think they're right about everything?

I think that if you actually read this thread and what people have said, instead of bringing in your own disappointing experiences with one or two INFJs, you might find that no one of any type in this thread has suggested that INFJs never make mistakes, and you threw that in there as though everyone had been parading it up and down the thread.

Seriously: please go back and read the thread, closely, like I did, and then tell me where you got the idea that anyone (INFJ or otherwise) had said that INFJs are incapable of making bad decisions. If you're able to read things into comments that aren't, you know, actually there, I think that would be a good definition of "projecting."
 

BlackCat

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exactly - it seemed to me like you saw something you didn't aprove of and wanted to disassociate yourself from it. again, i could be wrong.

Ms. Silky over here seems to have remained neutral with her responses this whole thread... Not seeing where you're getting this from. Perhaps you are reminded of something from your past but you aren't yet sure or conscious of what it is?

the N answers to test questions can sound "better", or it's what people think they "should" be.

I scored as INFP for years and thought I was one for years too. I still score exclusively N on most tests, mostly INTP, and only through introspection and research did I realize that I'm much more Se/Ni than Ne/Si. I just basically had an irrational attachment to being an N, since I see myself as being much different from other people, smarter, all that fun stuff. I see that a lot of people who are most likely just smart S types score as Ns because a lot of N answers would appeal to people who are smarter than average, or you could simply be an S who is more comfortable with your intuitive side than your average one.

It all depends on the test, but most of the good tests are more underground, less mainstreamed, so it's hard to really rely on what anyone says when they say "I scored as XXXX on this test and it seems like it fits me".
 

Santosha

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Thank you for the responses so far. I know that I didn't include a whole lot of detail in the OP, so I really appreciate the theorizing :D

One thing that occurred to me, right after I posted this actually, was Dario Nardi's neuroscience and someone saying that Ni doms tend to use atleast one of the 01 and 02 regions quite a bit, visual engineer and abstract impressionist. I wondered if perhaps it is a case of Ne pulling in too many connections at once, and Ni saying "whoa.. arrange these connections in a way that I can see, understand or measure this functionality combined." I also know that ENFP's can, at times, be thrown when others are not beating to the same drum. "What? How exactly do you NOT see Krusteaz pancake mix connected to humidity.. every time you cook them they look like billow clouds!"

I don't know any older INFJ's (except my mom who is a bad example).. but my boss is 40. Could this outdoor-physical engagement-gambling be the development of inferior Se? Is that typical?
 

SilkRoad

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One thing that occurred to me, right after I posted this actually, was Dario Nardi's neuroscience and someone saying that Ni doms tend to use atleast one of the 01 and 02 regions quite a bit, visual engineer and abstract impressionist. I wondered if perhaps it is a case of Ne pulling in too many connections at once, and Ni saying "whoa.. arrange these connections in a way that I can see, understand or measure this functionality combined." I also know that ENFP's can, at times, be thrown when others are not beating to the same drum. "What? How exactly do you NOT see Krusteaz pancake connected to humidity.. every time you cook them they look like billow clouds!"

I think this is possible. I mean, I wouldn't see your description as NECESSARILY indicating Ni, but I think it could potentially be an Ni reaction.

It's not quite the same thing, but I astonish people with my moronic-ness when it comes to something like card games. Someone else (probably an ExxP!) will describe the game to me: "The point is this! So you do this, here! And this! AND THIS! Ok, let's play!" I look at them blankly and drawl "Ok...please let me opt out of this...or else, can you repeat that again slowly, step-by-step, and in a more bullet-point manner?" At that point I get the sort of "I thought you were supposed to be smart!" reaction. :laugh: And even if they do repeat it all for me slowly, I'll still get confused during the actual game. And I'll probably look bored and unhappy. And in a few days, weeks or months, you'll have to explain all the rules to me again. :laugh:
 
S

Society

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Again: I have no clue where the hell you got that from. Are all your gut feelings about other people an attempt to disassociate yourself from them?
...no but the ones that are attempting to disassociate yourself from them are likely to be and are worthy of being questioned as such... btw - more impressive if done by the one having the gut feelings in the first place ofcourse, but i am learning to curve my expectations.

and so far as:
a seeming conviction that INFJs think they're right about everything?
like all good theories, it was designed to be easy enough to disprove, and [MENTION=6227]Intricate Mystic[/MENTION] already disproved that - at least as far as any thoughts of it being an all-encmpasing traits INFJs can't grow out of - they evidently can because she has... so the "conviction" isn't there as far as the generalization goes, it hasn't being there for awhile now. but thanks for noticing.
 

Snow Turtle

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and Ni saying "whoa.. arrange these connections in a way that I can see, understand or measure this functionality combined."

Unless I've always misunderstood Ni. I wouldn't think so.
It had always been described to me as an a function that generates meaning between things.

The whole wanting things to be arranged would be something more of a Ti function (Logically consistent) or Logical in a Linear manner (Te)

On a different note, on the discussion of projection and so fourth. Nothing mentioned about rigidity, isn't something that can't be applied to SJ types. I did not really see any description of Ni there.
 

cascadeco

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I don't know any older INFJ's (except my mom who is a bad example).. but my boss is 40. Could this outdoor-physical engagement-gambling be the development of inferior Se? Is that typical?

Sure! - although I can't relate to the partying or gambling bit. (like boardgames/mindless games like Mahjonng, however:smile:) (For my part, I've never really viewed tertiary or inferior functions as a bad thing.. and also I don't think the 'development' has to follow any specific timeline. I think there can be elements of all throughout ones' life.)

I think INxJ's will always have that Ni preference / cerebral focus and mindset - I mean, that will never go away - but I think it's actually quite common for INxJ's to engage in hobbies in their free time that are very physical/Se-ish in nature, and to really enjoy that and get a lot out of it.

For myself, I think a lot of my hobbies have always been rather Se-ish in nature, and that began as a child. My interest in nature/the outdoors began at that time. But, the WAY I approach it - the way I engage in these activities/view all of it - is quite possibly pretty different from how an SP would; we both may be doing the same thing, but we do it for different reasons, get different things out of it maybe, etc etc.

So, yeah.. I do the outdoor and rockclimbing thing. Both of my INFJ friends enjoy similar things, and one during her free time spends a LOT of time training for triathlons, marathons, recently joined a weekly volleyball clinic.... Important to keep in mind though that we're all still very much 'cerebral'/theoretical... our hobbies might just allow for us to take a break from all of that and balance ourselves out - and get a bonus rush out of doing so.

Regarding your boss wanting the 'facts and figures' - it could easily just tie to 'wanting to get to the point/heart of the matter' early on - an effort to hone in on what she views as key areas to focus on / that will help her to better see the big picture. Without much more detail, that's my only guess.

Edit: btw, didn't really read the entire OP.. just the first paragraph ..but specifically wanted to addres your question re. Se-type interests.
 

Randomnity

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One more thing that occurred to me, as I reread the OP and see the note about you needing a notebook to illustrate "simple concepts" - she may just be a strongly visual learner/communicator. As a not particularly un-bright but very visual person, I'm often completely lost when someone showers me with words, but give me a basic diagram and I have no problem with complicated concepts. Some people (like me) have a hard time organizing spoken words into concepts in their minds. At least, I'm assuming I'm not a freak in this. :D I think it's because I tend to unconsciously zone out and miss key words, and also have a hard time "holding on" to many sentences at a time, long enough for them all to come together.

Anyway, just throwing a potential non-type-related explanation out there.
 
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