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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Default I'm and INFJ and I have a problem, please help?

    I only found out I was a INFJ a couple of weeks ago and I'm still learning about it. While I'm glad to learn more about myself, a new problem has been presented to me. I have gotten so upset with a family member who lives in my house that I no longer really care about them. I read that this is a problem with some INFJ's and that once it occurs that there isn't much that can be done once this point is reached. Before I read more about INFJ's, I didn't really realize the extent of my not caring about this person at all. This person has a drinking problem, yells all the time at me and my family members, especially my mother. And he yells about the stupidest, simplest things. He can't see reason, blatanlty assumes he's right, and will ask you for the sixth time what time he has to be at someplace in two hours. I honestly can't stand him, yet I feel obligated to care but I simply can't and overall I want to be a good person. Is there any way I can reverse this or try to change something?? Will this affect my me negatively in the future?

  2. #2
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    The first thing to do is stop reading the massively over-generalised type descriptions and realise that, whilst you may indeed have a preference for certain cognitive functions, you are also entirely your own person.

    Personally, I can see why you would become cold towards the person you mention. If he won't see reason (and therefore refuses to help himself), can you not persuade other family members to club together and 'make' him see sense? Failing that, get outside help. I certainly wouldn't put up with it.

  3. #3
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Clashgrl17 View Post
    I read that this is a problem with some INFJ's and that once it occurs that there isn't much that can be done once this point is reached.
    My perception is that this is a myth. Like any type, an INFJ can get angry with someone and something inside can click and turn off empathy. For a while. It sounds like the biggest issue is that you're in a situation where you can't set up healthy boundaries and have had to disengage emotionally to cope. This is the sort of thing that can change once you're removed from the environment or find a different way to deal with the stress. Be wary of so-called limits associated with type.

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