[INFP] Hate an INFP REDUX

[violaine]

(Hate is such a strong word...)

The telephone thing. INFPs who never want to make or take calls argghhh. I now have a special way to call that I have to use whenever I want to call one INFP friend at home so she knows it's me. (Ring twice then hang up and ring again).

That passivity might be less annoying if it wasn't accompanied by the aggression that flares if I fail to negotiate the eggshells. It's like crawling over cut glass to make things ok again when she is inevitably offended by something I said. (Not what I said, the way I said it, argghhh x 2).

I think it comes down to the INFPs I know actively looking for the personal criticism in everything. It's a buzzkill.

 

[Udog]

INFPs: We create a thread on why we suck, and then provide most of the posts on the subject. Hah!

Substitute, I really am wincing at most of your posts because I've been that person. I've never been as bad as your friend, but the pattern with my mom was the same. I'm not defending your friend at all - I agree with your posts 100% - but maybe I can provide a bit more understanding.

You know that overly empathetic thing we INFPs are so good at? Yeah, well multiply that times 50 for emotionally manipulative parents. We are in tune with even the tiniest emotional distress from them, and the manipulative parent is so very good at convincing us that a) we can fix it and b) any further distress that occurs due to our inaction is our fault.

A) and B) combined with the super-hyper-insane empathy make us lose perspective. That lack of perspective causes us to feel like inaction would needlessly cause inordinate amounts of pain to a loved one, which in turn breaches a core value.

Emotions may not be logical, but they are often predictable. Manipulative parents not only know our triggers, but probably created them.

Identifying this, and breaking the cycle, was (and in some regards still is) the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Another reason INFPs suck: I could have probably said the above in half as many words. I can't help myself! :steam:

 

[SquirrelTao]

I hate being absent-minded and procrastinating about the routine details of life and paperwork and things like that. I have worked hard on overcoming this trait, but it still surfaces occasionally, causing me a lot of grief sometimes. I was always late with my student loan paperwork when I was a student, every single year. I didn't renew my drivers license on time this year. I was technically driving without a valid license for several days and was lucky I was not pulled over during this time. Before I had my car insurance payments set up to be automatically deducted, my insurance was forever being canceled, and I was forever reinstating it. I wish I were rich and had a secretary, LOL.

EDIT: I don't know if I'm INFP. I test as INFP, INTP and INTJ on different tests. But the INFP description seems to overlap more with my inner life than the INTP and INTJ descriptions.

 

[heart]

(Hate is such a strong word...)

The telephone thing. INFPs who never wanting to make or take calls argghhh.

guilty

 

[Carebear]

guilty

I've never understood what it is, but that stupid phone scares me more than spiders at times. (But then again, spiders don't really scare me more than moderately, so it's not as if picking up the phone makes me paralyzed by fear. I just choose not to do it more often than not.)

 

[songofcalamity]

(Hate is such a strong word...)

The telephone thing. INFPs who never want to make or take calls argghhh. I now have a special way to call that I have to use whenever I want to call one INFP friend at home so she knows it's me. (Ring twice then hang up and ring again).

That passivity might be less annoying if it wasn't accompanied by the aggression that flares if I fail to negotiate the eggshells. It's like crawling over cut glass to make things ok again when she is inevitably offended by something I said. (Not what I said, the way I said it, argghhh x 2).

I think it comes down to the INFPs I know actively looking for the personal criticism in everything. It's a buzzkill.

Hahaha. Lol, that's what I told my ISFP friend to do. And I know who is calling/just called by hearing the rings, I subconciously developed this ability because of my dislike for phones.

 

[Brutus01]

gah thats so wierd i thought i was the only person on the planet afraid of phones

 

[substitute]

the phone thing cracks me up. I mean, I have a good reason to be averse to using the telephone: I'm actually allergic to the plastic most of them are made of and break out in really bad acne after just talking on the phone once for two minutes. But even I still use it and put up with the acne rather than blank my friends!!

(actually I use speakerphones wherever possible lol)

but the really weird thing about INFP's and phones is that the FEAR of using the phone seems only equalled by the amount they ENJOY it when they finally DO pick it up!! My INFP never phones me, yet when I phone her, give her a minute to warm up and she'll go on for HOURS, then I'm having to work hard to get her off while my dinner's burning!

 

[prplchknz]

I don't mind using, the phone. I use to, but now I figure if someone can't talk they won't answer and I'll leave a message. Also if someone says my dinner's burning or needs to get off the phone I'll let them. Though often if I'm not sure if they're in a class, I'll text them, incase they forgot to turn off the ringer. I still prefer talking in person, but some people I can only talk to over the phone. What's 5 minutes on the phone out of my life? I'll probably answer, unless I'm in an extremely bad mood. Or if I don't like you.

 

[hiddengem]

Once they make a decision, they then continue to second guess that they made the right one. Not a big deal if you are deciding which restaurant to eat dinner at or what movie to see, but when it is a major life decision (dating, marriage, children) it really sucks to be around them. Everyone has doubts that they've done the right thing, but you can't change the past. Stand by the choices you've made, live in the present with an eye to the future, and enjoy what you have rather than lamenting what you think you gave up.

They also seem to expect people to just magically know what it is they want. They don't tell you their expectations and then get upset when you don't meet them. How in the heck are people supposed to know what someone else wants if they never tell them?!? The rest of us don't have those mystical INFP powers that allow us to "just know." You'd think they'd take pity on us and just tell us what they want rather than make us guess.

Sometimes I just want to curl up my pudgy little fist and pop someone right in the kisser while shouting "GET OVER IT! IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!"

 

[prplchknz]

Sometimes I just want to curl up my pudgy little fist and pop someone right in the kisser while shouting "GET OVER IT! IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!"

I think this applies to all people of the human race.

 

[violaine]

... but the really weird thing about INFP's and phones is that the FEAR of using the phone seems only equalled by the amount they ENJOY it when they finally DO pick it up!! My INFP never phones me, yet when I phone her, give her a minute to warm up and she'll go on for HOURS, then I'm having to work hard to get her off while my dinner's burning!

Yes! And I think that can be part of not wanting to pick up the phone. It interrupts them and when they get off the phone they have to resume whatever it was they were doing and they realize they just spent an hour or two talking. It's kind of like an inertia thing. They get going on the phone and then they have to muster the energy to get back to what they were doing. (Plus apparently just the irrational, immediate fear that grips the INFP when the phone rings haha, bless 'em).

 

[hiddengem]

I think this applies to all people of the human race.

I agree, but since this thread is about INFPs I can specifically address it about them without having to qualify it. In an strange way, it is oddly freeing to be able to do so.

 

[runvardh]

Re: The Phone Thing

Call Display has been a Godsend in my life though it sucks when friends call from a number I don't know. One thing I'm hating about my cell is that if I don't have them in my contact list I can't identify the person that easily. Just leave a message, unlike other INFPs, if I want to talk I will call you back. I'm really, otherwise, avoiding my mother, younger brother, and telemarketers.

 

[Udog]

Rock on, hiddengem! What else you got?!

 

[hiddengem]

Rock on, hiddengem! What else you got?!

LOL! Don't get me started. But since you asked...Dithering about a question to the point of being unable to make a decision, then ultimately doing nothing. They then moan about those non-decisions as if something was taken from them. Lack of action is a decision, even if they don't want to see it that way.

Actually, I felt guilty about my post so I had to balance it by making a post in another thread.

 

[rhinosaur]

I hate INFPs because they're so damn hard to corrupt.
Give in, damn it!

 

[wolfmaiden14]

I hate INFPs because they're so damn hard to corrupt.
Give in, damn it!

HAHAHA.

No wai!!!!

 

[heart]

I've never understood what it is, but that stupid phone scares me more than spiders at times. (But then again, spiders don't really scare me more than moderately, so it's not as if picking up the phone makes me paralyzed by fear. I just choose not to do it more often than not.)

I was never this way until my 30s. Mostly for me it avoiding certain people who call. Certain people who are really calling to talk to husband except he never answers the phone, when it rings he looks at me, terrified and says "who could that be? Are you going to answer it? Could you?" And I am like "I'm not gonna answer it either" and then it quits ringining.

Then again there are days where I am fatigued and I just don't feel like talking and I am afraid I'll be either too distant or snapish if I pick up the phone.

If they leave a message and I want to talk to them (or have to talk to them) I'll call back.

I wish a certain ISTJ I know would make a practice of this instead of snapping at me because she's having a bad day and I just happened to call on a bad day!

 

[Tropics]

I hate INFPs because they're so damn hard to corrupt.
Give in, damn it!

Lol You can't hate someone for that!