[INFJ] INFJ Hate Thread

[metaphours]

Please, INF aggression is like watching a poodle snarling. It'd be scary if I were a chihuahua and not a rottweiler.

I disagree cause I've beaten the shit out of someone before lulz

 

[Gloriana]

Please, INF aggression is like watching a poodle snarling. It'd be scary if I were a chihuahua and not a rottweiler.

Have you seen New York Italian INF aggression?

Don't fucking touch my gelati!!!!

 

[staytuned7]

For most INFJ's, I think our memory of the past is not even that good. Family and childhood friends can usually recall so many details I can't for the life of me remember. Of course we remember the important things – meaningful conversations, groundbreaking discoveries, and which character said what in the first book we ever read. But trivialities tend to vanish into oblivion.

Yup, that is so me. I appreciate people very much but I don't really miss them once they are out of sight, even my family.

Holy cow I didn't know that other people were this way, too

Seriously.

And these are both things to hate an INFJ for (at least, I [mainly] dislike them about myself). I feel like my childhood, aside for the really important things (which I remember with surprising and accurate detail) is a fog. My dad will always bring up "that camping trip 6 years ago" and I'll be like "uhhh...we went to some place and had a good time." It aggravates him because reminiscing is something he loves to do (and it's his main way of communicating). I feel bad when I can't contribute to the conversation because I simply don't remember these things!

OH! And when someone asks me how my day went, what happened, etc. (this was especially bad when I lived at home) I find it hard to give enough information that satisfies the person asking. I already lived it...why do I have to rehash it???

Haha Anyway, the second point.

Hate an INFJ because we love you, but find it easy to let go of you. It's not personal...I swear!

My family and old friends are constantly complaining that I don't communicate enough. But I find it's a real effort to keep in touch. Eventually guilt gets the better of me, though.

We suck

 

[Oddly Refined]

Please, INF aggression is like watching a poodle snarling. It'd be scary if I were a chihuahua and not a rottweiler.

Actually, I've been told that I'm very intimidating. rofl

 

[BlueScreen]

Try to change people toward a social ideal rather than help them grow as themselves.

Clumsy with emotions, words and consequences.

Believe things like "I could never understand you", are somehow comforting or helpful to a person.

Seem to care more about formality than content. ie. it's about how you ask them, not your intention.

Seem to read nothing between the lines (making it frustrating to explain sometimes, or find resolution in conflict situations).

Seem to be straight forward, to the point of destroying dreams and grounding people.

Seem to think they know better about other people than those people do about themselves. Even when all evidence points to this being impossible.

Will not integrate without social expectations. ie. never work into a group dynamic without trying to set it.

Appear to see the world from a million of their own views. Get all angles, but never really step into the other's shoes and see what is beneficial as them.

Don't accept help. Sometimes are completely rude when trying to show some strength by not accepting help. Could make them insanely frustrating as a sporting teammate, or in mountain climbing, or anything cooperative, ie. they set social dynamics but seem to rarely understand them.

Tend to ask ENFPs for advice and help with social things in real life, then bag them online because there is a system called the MBTi that suggests INFJs are the patron saints of giving.

Focus on the negative aspects of personalities and write people off, rather than seeing the silver lining. Or else don't see the silver lining till they change a person to their social ideal (also they believe this is beneficial to do).

Believe that the mundane is wild, and walking slightly off the path is "living dangerously".

Do a lot of dishing it out but take anything that comes back quite badly.

hmm, that's a start...

 

[TSDesigner]

Holy cow I didn't know that other people were this way, too

Seriously.

And these are both things to hate an INFJ for (at least, I [mainly] dislike them about myself). I feel like my childhood, aside for the really important things (which I remember with surprising and accurate detail) is a fog. My dad will always bring up "that camping trip 6 years ago" and I'll be like "uhhh...we went to some place and had a good time." It aggravates him because reminiscing is something he loves to do (and it's his main way of communicating). I feel bad when I can't contribute to the conversation because I simply don't remember these things!

OH! And when someone asks me how my day went, what happened, etc. (this was especially bad when I lived at home) I find it hard to give enough information that satisfies the person asking. I already lived it...why do I have to rehash it???

Is that because Fi and Si are shadow functions for INFJ's?

INFJ Ni Fe Ti Se Ne Fi Te Si

 

[Lauren Ashley]

*Takes a deep breath*

Try to change people toward a social ideal rather than help them grow as themselves.

It's a bit of both, IMO. INFJs help people on an individual basis and cater to that person's individual needs. Yet the ideal may have nothing to do with the individual.

Clumsy with emotions, words and consequences.

Can't relate.

Believe things like "I could never understand you", are somehow comforting or helpful to a person.

Can't relate.

Seem to care more about formality than content. ie. it's about how you ask them, not your intention.

It's both. The presentation and the intention. I don't see how it could be otherwise for an Ni-Fe type.

Seem to read nothing between the lines (making it frustrating to explain sometimes, or find resolution in conflict situations).

An Ni type doesn't read between the lines? Doubtful. Very. In fact, some would say INFJs read too much in between the lines.

Seem to be straight forward, to the point of destroying dreams and grounding people.

Straightforward, but aware when they are destroying dreams. Just don't care

Seem to think they know better about other people than those people do about themselves. Even when all evidence points to this being impossible.

What evidence? Please show me this evidence. Some people don't know themselves well.

Will not integrate without social expectations. ie. never work into a group dynamic without trying to set it.

Can't relate. I do need to know the expectations of a group, but I will try to fit it instead of the other way around.

Appear to see the world from a million of their own views. Get all angles, but never really step into the other's shoes and see what is beneficial as them.

Can't relate.

Don't accept help. Sometimes are completely rude when trying to show some strength by not accepting help. Could make them insanely frustrating as a sporting teammate, or in mountain climbing, or anything cooperative, ie. they set social dynamics but seem to rarely understand them.

All but the bolded I can see. INFJs understand social dynamics, if nothing else. They just sometimes are too willful to integrate if they aren't "feeling" it.

Tend to ask ENFPs for advice and help with social things in real life, then bag them online because there is a system called the MBTi that suggests INFJs are the patron saints of giving.

Who bags ENFPs online? Me?

Too specific to apply to INFJs as a whole.

Focus on the negative aspects of personalities and write people off, rather than seeing the silver lining. Or else don't see the silver lining till they change a person to their social ideal (also they believe this is beneficial to do).

Don't write people off. Just see the bad with the good. Such is hard for other, more idealistic D) types to deal with.

Believe that the mundane is wild, and walking slightly off the path is "living dangerously".

Mundane? What's that?

Do a lot of dishing it out but take anything that comes back quite badly.

Huh. I say bring more hate. People on teh interwebz don't scare us.

 

[BlueScreen]

Actually makes sense on most of them. I think some are a case of ENFP being too personally idealist when judging them.

With reading between the lines, it is probably that you guys seem to not use the information if you do read between the lines. At least in the sense that you won't commit it to be part of the discussion, even when it is obviously there. It might be a tentativeness in that respect rather than oblivion. We tend to use the unwritten and the written to get the meaning, so it is disconcerting sometimes if everything has to be perfectly clear.

What evidence? Please show me this evidence. Some people don't know themselves well.

It works as a comment about the whole, but about any individual that is a subjective judgment.


It sounds bad, but what I really want is to understand INFJs as a system. I have pretty poor use of all of your key functions, so have little or no clues about the whys behind the whats. They all seem quite sensible though from your responses, which I was guessing they all are. It is just that often it is instinctively hard for me to understand them or leave them as anything but an unknown when judging a situation. I figure once I get it then it can weave into my perceptions like other things and be instinctive. Like I'd prefer to accept you guys because I truly appreciate and love your work, than have it as a balance of ignoring differences and seeing some positives. I've got it quite close to home too, which doesn't help. My mother and a long time female friend are both INFJs, so most of the judgments come from the position of breaking out of upbringing, and a relationship that has emotional investment along with lots of up/downs.

 

[lane777]

For most INFJ's, I think our memory of the past is not even that good. Family and childhood friends can usually recall so many details I can't for the life of me remember. Of course we remember the important things – meaningful conversations, groundbreaking discoveries, and which character said what in the first book we ever read. But trivialities tend to vanish into oblivion.

#1 thing I hate about myself is my bad memory... and it's my most defining characteristic! Poor memories are extremely offensive People assume you weren't listening or you forget because you don't care - but I forget about things I desperately care about. I do not have a selective memory like the majority of people.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

#1 thing I hate about myself is my bad memory... and it's my most defining characteristic! Poor memories are extremely offensive People assume you weren't listening or you forget because you don't care - but I forget about things I desperately care about. I do not have a selective memory like the majority of people.

i think memory has to do with other brain functions independent of type. i've seen other types (within types) differ greatly on retention abilities.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I am not passive-aggressive. I am outright aggressive

i was always very aggressive, especially growing up. played basketball and played hard. welcomed fights. not afraid, etc. (shadow estp?) but i think it was because my home life was stressful. when i'm at my best, i'm actually very peaceful and it is hard to get me riled. but when i overdo it, and take on too much, my aggressive streak starts coming out again.

i can't stand p-aggression. i guess i could come off as p-a if i were in a situation where i wanted to be honest about something, but i was afraid of how it would be taken, and i was tiptoeing around about it. but usually i'm too direct to be p-a.

Manipulative - how? I've heard this said before about INFJs and I don't see it. Maybe you could give examples.

proteanmix spoke a bit about it in some posts a while back.

 

[Gloriana]

#1 thing I hate about myself is my bad memory... and it's my most defining characteristic! Poor memories are extremely offensive People assume you weren't listening or you forget because you don't care - but I forget about things I desperately care about. I do not have a selective memory like the majority of people.

This throws me too, I remember everything down to what clothes people wore, what they said, how they said it, and what the friggin' weather forecast for that day was supposed to be. I irritate people more with what I remember than what I forget.

 

[Gloriana]

....But I can't remember what I'm supposed to get at the store, who I'm supposed to call back, or whether or not I cleaned the cat litter already.

 

[Oddly Refined]

If I was known for anything growing up, it was definitely my memory. I have no problem recalling events and really insignificant details.

 

[Oddly Refined]

....But I can't remember what I'm supposed to get at the store, who I'm supposed to call back, or whether or not I cleaned the cat litter already.

lists and post-it notes..

 

[Lauren Ashley]

With reading between the lines, it is probably that you guys seem to not use the information if you do read between the lines. At least in the sense that you won't commit it to be part of the discussion, even when it is obviously there. It might be a tentativeness in that respect rather than oblivion. We tend to use the unwritten and the written to get the meaning, so it is disconcerting sometimes if everything has to be perfectly clear.

This is very vague. I'm not understanding. Any INFJ that uses only information that is obvious and on the surface, is not INFJ. That goes completely against what Ni is all about. However, withholding information is a completely different story.

It sounds bad, but what I really want is to understand INFJs as a system.

You can learn the basics but you won't find a one-size fits all.

I figure once I get it then it can weave into my perceptions like other things and be instinctive.

You're not going to be able to synthesize Ni like an organic compound in the lab. I don't think it's something that can be read about and then done; you have it or not.

Like I'd prefer to accept you guys because I truly appreciate and love your work, than have it as a balance of ignoring differences and seeing some positives.

Thanks for your tenacity

 

[BlueScreen]

You can learn the basics but you won't find a one-size fits all.

You're not going to be able to synthesize Ni like an organic compound in the lab. I don't think it's something that can be read about and then done; you have it or not.

Thanks for your tenacity

I'm not big on impossibilities .

One-size fits all can be a Te afterthought.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I'm not big on impossibilities .

Neither am I. But this is one where you have to question. Where would you even begin? First you'd have to know where it came from. And since no one *really* does, there is no starting point.

 

[BlueScreen]

You think ENFPs work in anything near a rational or linear fashion? Who needs a starting point?

 

[Lauren Ashley]

You think ENFPs work in anything near a rational or linear fashion? Who needs a starting point .

Go for it.

Just don't hit any brick walls while you're at it.