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[INFJ] INFJs and Obsessions with Fictional Characters

Ribonuke

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This is something I've been wondering for a while, and now that I'm fairly certain I'm an INFJ, I wanted some input from other people...

For some reason, I tend to grow obsessions/infatuations with certain kinds of characters. Not...in any sort of carnal way, mind you, but in a way that I end up wanting to pretend to be them, and I can't stop thinking about them...

The kinds of characters tend to be mysterious, aloof and/or kicka$$ women. Aloof...but not necessarily lacking in compassion. Examples of such characters include (but are not limited to)

Selene - Underworld/Underworld: Evolution/Underworld: Awakening
Elektra Natchios - Daredevil
Trinity - The Matrix/The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions
Elle Driver - Kill Bill Vol. 1/Vol. 2
Shosanna Dreyfus - Inglourious Basterds
Miriam Blaylock - The Hunger
Kanaya Maryam - Homestuck (MSPA)
Cybersix - Cybersix
Rachael - Blade Runner
Story - Lady in the Water
River Tam - Firefly/Serenity
Zam Wesell - Star Wars: Episode II
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (the videogames)
Deoxys - Pokemon The Movie 7: Destiny Deoxys (something struck me as feminine about it, I don't know why...)
General Grievous - Star Wars: Episode III (rare 'male' example)
Max Guevera - Dark Angel
Melina Havelock - 007: For Your Eyes Only

And the list could go on, but the movies/tv-shows get more and more obscure from there...

The weird part is that...all I have to do is see a screenshot or a trailer to become obsessed. And the obsession doesn't start right away; oftentimes the character's image will be stuck in my head, and I'll end up having to find out more information about them, which often causes me to obsess on the character even more.

Is this my Introverted Intuition causing me to become subconsciously attached to a character before I know what they're like? Is it perhaps because some of these characters share INFJ traits and I feel drawn to them?
 

UniqueMixture

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They say we tend to be attracted to what we view as having our own strengths but lacking our weaknesses so perhaps you admire strength of will (? Just a random guess as that is a trait I perceive those characters as having) but feel that you yourself are not as physically overwhelming or have the sense of power that you perceive these characters as having? (Another guess you will have to answer this question for yourself.)

Another note: obsessive/compulsive behavior is often a way of trying to meet a basic need you may have vicariously
 

Ribonuke

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Interesting viewpoint...I've wondered if that was the case. I think the fact that these characters actually DO things instead of just inspiring; putting their willpower to good use; might be a contributing factor.

I don't believe these bouts of obsessions are related to OCD; I don't carry out a tradition to try and remedy the obsession, but rather expand upon it, trying to find out more. If affected by any "medical" condition, it'd likely be a product of Aspergers. =/
 

UniqueMixture

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I wasn't trying to label you and I don't think it is useful for you to do that to yourself. If you have an intrinsic state that you do not like then it is unchangeable and you are fated to a negative outcome. If your problem is a lack of development in an area of skill then there is productive action you can take to remedy that lack of skill and you can have more of the positive outcome you desire ;)
 

Ribonuke

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I wasn't trying to label you and I don't think it is useful for you to do that to yourself. If you have an intrinsic state that you do not like then it is unchangeable and you are fated to a negative outcome. If your problem is a lack of development in an area of skill then there is productive action you can take to remedy that lack of skill and you can have more of the positive outcome you desire ;)

Oddly enough, this was the exact conclusion I came to late last night that led me to shed my Aspergers as a core part of my identity; it's a label comprising of superficial traits rather than an overall mental scheme.

But yes, in regards to that last part, are you suggesting that I can try to be more like the characters I admire by nuturing myself rather than hating myself?
 

UniqueMixture

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No, change your body language, posture, and intonation to match that of the person you admire. This will change your affective state to match more closely to that of the person you admire.
 

Ribonuke

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No, change your body language, posture, and intonation to match that of the person you admire. This will change your affective state to match more closely to that of the person you admire.

So that IS the solution! Thank you so much; I felt like that's the advice I've wanted to follow my entire life, but--perhaps because I live in 'middle America'--I grew up receiving mixed signals that you should always "BE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A CONFORMIST IF YOU'RE NOT" *sigh* ...and I just grew up believing that I should never trust my intuition and that I should instead work from my surroundings. It's probably my Fe aspect trying to desperately avoid a conflict by appeasing others... ._.
 

UniqueMixture

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You can take on individual characteristics without mimicking the whole person. Pick and choose depending on your own individual goals and motives. This will help you to be a rich, unique, fulfilled PERSON rather than a robot.
 

LotsOfHeart

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I used to experience this when I was younger. As time continued, I began to shift these "obsessions" to real life people, often idealizing them. That isn't so good if it gets out of hand, but in my opinion, if you can stop from allowing it to take over your reality, it's pretty harmless. Actually, having a rich inner world allows one to see and experience things that all too many people miss out on. It's also good to have strong feelings about things and people you see. Just keep it positive, and it's pretty natural as far as I'm concerned. But always remember also to view and accept things as they actually are. For example, in relationships, if you meet someone who would just be great if only they did something differently, don't expect them to change any time too soon.

A lot of people would probably think what I just typed sounds ridiculous, and I can understand why someone might think that. But, I still think an inner life is very important, as long as it's directed towards positive thoughts and feelings.
 

DisneyFanGirl

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My best friend does this constantly, though she has objects of her affection that are real as well. It might be an INFJ thing. I don't really obsess over fictional characters...
 

Luv Deluxe

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This is something I've been wondering for a while, and now that I'm fairly certain I'm an INFJ, I wanted some input from other people...

For some reason, I tend to grow obsessions/infatuations with certain kinds of characters. Not...in any sort of carnal way, mind you, but in a way that I end up wanting to pretend to be them, and I can't stop thinking about them...

The kinds of characters tend to be mysterious, aloof and/or kicka$$ women. Aloof...but not necessarily lacking in compassion. Examples of such characters include (but are not limited to)

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (the videogames)

The weird part is that...all I have to do is see a screenshot or a trailer to become obsessed. And the obsession doesn't start right away; oftentimes the character's image will be stuck in my head, and I'll end up having to find out more information about them, which often causes me to obsess on the character even more.

Is this my Introverted Intuition causing me to become subconsciously attached to a character before I know what they're like? Is it perhaps because some of these characters share INFJ traits and I feel drawn to them?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Lara Croft when I grew up. There. I've said it.

I'm not sure I would say that I obsess, though. I have been known to develop an affection or admiration for certain characters or even real-life people, but usually because I've seen something about them that I identify with or find somehow relatable. It's like watching a more successful aspect of myself running around out there. So I'm drawn to it and encouraged by it.
 

Ribonuke

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My best friend does this constantly, though she has objects of her affection that are real as well. It might be an INFJ thing. I don't really obsess over fictional characters...

I think it's because they touch an aspect of our 'ideals', possibly. I don't...really obsess over real-life people. Oh wait, no, scratch that, I totally have; my BFF, whom I used to have a MAJOR crush on because I thought she was the answer to all of my problems (she came into my life at a VERY impressionable time). After a while, though, I realized that she was a human being, and that I should treat her as such and stop taking everything so seriously. A different BFF I had when I was younger resulted in a similar situation, but...we've both kinda moved on... =( Either way, both of those BFFs manage to garner my affections because they co-created made-up worlds with me. Actually...they kinda laid the foundations and the tone of the world, while I added my own details. I would come up with specific character designs and plotlines, while they mostly worked on the races and settings. Unfortunately, my current BFF (who is an ISFP) and I occasionally butt heads when she doesn't like one of my ideas, and I have trouble changing my idea because I have little conscious control over my perception or design of things. .-.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Lara Croft when I grew up. There. I've said it.

I'm not sure I would say that I obsess, though. I have been known to develop an affection or admiration for certain characters or even real-life people, but usually because I've seen something about them that I identify with or find somehow relatable. It's like watching a more successful aspect of myself running around out there. So I'm drawn to it and encouraged by it.

Yeah, I can see that. I always liked characters who followed their intuition more than the crowd, probably because I envy that trait. Society constantly tells me I should ignore my intuition and conform to the rules of reality, so...I guess the characters my chance for escape?
 

Luv Deluxe

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Yeah, I can see that. I always liked characters who followed their intuition more than the crowd, probably because I envy that trait. Society constantly tells me I should ignore my intuition and conform to the rules of reality, so...I guess the characters my chance for escape?

Could be. :) Allegedly, most of society are sensors, which might explain why so many people seem to discourage the use of intuitive behaviors in everyday life. Sometimes we come off as daydreaming, too aloof, removed from reality, etc. Consequently, I feel good when I'm watching or reading about a protagonist with more intuitive tendencies. Maybe it's a form of reassurance, haha.
 

Ribonuke

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Hmm...something I just realized.

A lot of the characters I feel attracted to/connected with are INTJ. Take, for instance, Raven from Teen Titans. I also feel attracted to INFP characters and people...maybe because I envy their free-spiritedness... .-.
 

Istbkleta

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No, change your body language, posture, and intonation to match that of the person you admire. This will change your affective state to match more closely to that of the person you admire.

Where is this coming from? / What is it based on?
 

UniqueMixture

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Experience. I used to read up a lot on body language, so probably from there. Do it though, it becomes more dramatic the more you practice. Google it too.
 

Cellmold

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I can relate to the OP somewhat, ive often come into contact with characters from fiction and something about them has stuck in my mind to the point that I will go and read all about them to further my own view.

Sometimes I like them to be relatable and realistic and sometimes I love them when they are fantastical and unbelievable.
 

Hecuba

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Interesting. I am what I believe to be INFP but I've always obsessed over fictional characters to the point whereas I even imagine myself to be in a relationship with them.
 

rose22

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I can relate to you..

This is something I've been wondering for a while, and now that I'm fairly certain I'm an INFJ, I wanted some input from other people...

For some reason, I tend to grow obsessions/infatuations with certain kinds of characters. Not...in any sort of carnal way, mind you, but in a way that I end up wanting to pretend to be them, and I can't stop thinking about them...

The kinds of characters tend to be mysterious, aloof and/or kicka$$ women. Aloof...but not necessarily lacking in compassion. Examples of such characters include (but are not limited to)

Selene - Underworld/Underworld: Evolution/Underworld: Awakening
Elektra Natchios - Daredevil
Trinity - The Matrix/The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions
Elle Driver - Kill Bill Vol. 1/Vol. 2
Shosanna Dreyfus - Inglourious Basterds
Miriam Blaylock - The Hunger
Kanaya Maryam - Homestuck (MSPA)
Cybersix - Cybersix
Rachael - Blade Runner
Story - Lady in the Water
River Tam - Firefly/Serenity
Zam Wesell - Star Wars: Episode II
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (the videogames)
Deoxys - Pokemon The Movie 7: Destiny Deoxys (something struck me as feminine about it, I don't know why...)
General Grievous - Star Wars: Episode III (rare 'male' example)
Max Guevera - Dark Angel
Melina Havelock - 007: For Your Eyes Only

And the list could go on, but the movies/tv-shows get more and more obscure from there...

The weird part is that...all I have to do is see a screenshot or a trailer to become obsessed. And the obsession doesn't start right away; oftentimes the character's image will be stuck in my head, and I'll end up having to find out more information about them, which often causes me to obsess on the character even more.

Is this my Introverted Intuition causing me to become subconsciously attached to a character before I know what they're like? Is it perhaps because some of these characters share INFJ traits and I feel drawn to them?



I totally know where you are coming from! When I was a kid, I woud play Tomb Raider all day everyday. I still play the games but rarely, I only play when I'm in the mood. I was Lara Croft a few Halloweens and I've literally wanted to be her for as long as I can remember. She has always been my role model. I just love her independance, intelligence, athleticism and how she is so caring towards others. I always thought her life was perfect, except for the fact that both her parents were dead/missing. But then again, she has no emotional ties. She is filthy rich and gets to travel the world. I can see why we are somewhat obsessed with her.
She isn't the only person I'm obsessed with though. I also love Elizabeth in 'Pride and Prejudice', Rose in 'Titanic', elves in 'Lord of the Rings', Harry Potter, The Matix, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.
I go into phases. One month I'll be obsessed with Harry potter, and the next it'll change. During these obsessions I fantisize about how my life would be day-to-day in the life of these characters. Sometimes I'll just make up my own characters and have my own story, but with the rules, and princibles of the story which makes me think I should write novels but I could never do a good enough job.


I'm an INFJ. I've taken the test (on 3 different websites) atleast 10 times. 8/10 said I'm an INFJ. I know there are a lot of people out there who are misplaced and believe they are INFJ's when they are not. I don't feel I fit the description 100% but A LOT of it describes me very very well. I feel that while INFJ's share a lot of the same perspectives, we generally have different characteristics and opinions, but I feel I can relate to you here. I am pretty obsessed with fictional characters.
 

cafe

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I have some fictional crushes. I don't think I identify with very many fictional characters, though, or really obsess over them. Fangirl/admire and/or lust a bit, but not obsess. I mean, if anything, my personality would be like a Jane Austin character or something and that is not very compelling or worthy of obsession. Unless it's Mr. Darcy and I'm no Mr. Darcy.

I can obsess over the whole story, though. Like right now, I'm kind of obsessed with the Outlander series and really jonesing for the next book. I've been like that with several series, kind of lost in that world and that story with those characters for awhile until it faded or I found the next really compelling one.

CoN, LOTR, Farseer, Kushiel's Dart, and Outlander are all series that have been able to captivate me in that way. They all have pretty amazing world-building as well as well-developed characters, IMO. With the possible exception of CoN, but it is a series for children and I first read it when I was a child, so it seemed that way to me.
 
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