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[NF] I can't feel humanity's pain.

Qlip

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I think I'm an NF, but I run on the callous side. It's not that I would ignore a starving person on the street, I wouldn't. But my heart strings aren't as tuggable as NFs here on the forum claim. There's so much pain in the world, and so many people out there aren't afraid of taking advantage of those who would give reflexively, having universal empathy would just wreck me.

Anybody feel similar?
 

Starry

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I think I'm an NF, but I run on the callous side. It's not that I would ignore a starving person on the street, I wouldn't. But my heart strings aren't as tuggable as NFs here on the forum claim. There's so much pain in the world, and so many people out there aren't afraid of taking advantage of those who would give reflexively, having universal empathy would just wreck me.

Anybody feel similar?

What's your e-type Qlip...do you know?
 

Qlip

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What's your e-type Qlip...do you know?

You know, I'm not sure. I've tested as 7 before. [MENTION=1009]CzeCze[/MENTION] tried to pin me with one once.. maybe she'll jump in.
 
N

NPcomplete

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I think I'm an NF, but I run on the callous side. It's not that I would ignore a starving person on the street, I wouldn't. But my heart strings aren't as tuggable as NFs here on the forum claim. There's so much pain in the world, and so many people out there aren't afraid of taking advantage of those who would give reflexively, having universal empathy would just wreck me.

Anybody feel similar?

I do relate to this. I mean I see the "plight" and feel sad, angry, revolted etc at that moment but I can't really cry for them. I attribute this to survival skills (and probably must ponder more on this). :thinking: :thinking:
 

Starry

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You know, I'm not sure. I've tested as 7 before. [MENTION=1009]CzeCze[/MENTION] tried to pin me with one once.. maybe she'll jump in.

I don't think what you report would be all that unusual with regards to an ENFP 7w6...but I need to think on this a bit more to be able to put what I'm feeling to words.
 

kyuuei

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Sometimes I think I just pick and choose my sympathy and empathy status towards others at complete random.
 

Stanton Moore

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I don't think you lack empathy, or you wouldn't have started this thread.
Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by the depth of it, so you push it away? That's the reaction of a very sensitive person.
 

cascadeco

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Yes, although you may be more empathetic than I. :) (I don't have universal empathy for homeless people, each and every one, for example, and I am probably fairly selfish when it comes to being restrictive in who I reach out to and help - but I also don't think there's anything wrong with that, so....*shrug*)

I don't have blanket/kneejerk empathy for each and every person in pain. I might on some level feel bad for them that they're hurting, but I don't really FEEL it. I think too all of it is so nuanced for me that rather than take a persons' emotional state at face value, I prefer knowing the series of events/accumulation of choices that led to the resulting state, and my true internal response will be more tied to that - i.e. I very well may not feel bad for them once I find out the essence of their character/nature or their own role in where they are at.

But when talking about more universal 'pain' at a cultural/national level - genocides, violence towards others, starvation due to an overpopulated/unsustainable environment, etc etc... yeah, that's awful, and I count my blessings with my current life. [I also don't take my own state for granted and won't be surprised (and actually expect) if some day X years in the future my own life is in a much more reduced state, whether by national/world shifts or whatnot, or an accident, health issues, whatever] But I don't dwell on it. I focus my energies on the immediate sphere around me, where I might be able to directly influence things/people. And, I guess too I take Pain as a 'given' that will never go away - it's part of existence. (whether due to us being biological beings, or external things outside our control, or the nature and ebb and flow of the human race and its inclinations at a macro scale)
 

CrystalViolet

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If your heart bled for every wrong and injustice, you wouldn't stay sane for very long. I know peeps like that and they aren't. Save your compassion for people who deserve it. I think truly sensitive people get a little battle hardened. As one would in a world where it's seen as a weakness. That's why I tend to like animals more. For some reason it's considered a good thing if you are kind to animals.
 

Tyrinth

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I think I'm an NF, but I run on the callous side. It's not that I would ignore a starving person on the street, I wouldn't. But my heart strings aren't as tuggable as NFs here on the forum claim. There's so much pain in the world, and so many people out there aren't afraid of taking advantage of those who would give reflexively, having universal empathy would just wreck me.

Anybody feel similar?

I do.

My tendency towards being cold/callous is a major factor in why I'm reluctant to truly consider myself NF.

I tend to run even colder than you described, and yet I am consistently told I'm an INFP. I guess that is one of the limitations of typology, not everyone fits the profile perfectly. :shrug:

It's actually somewhat comforting knowing that I'm not the only NF with this kind of issue. :)
 

CzeCze

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Have you seen her people-with-similar-vibes comparisons? She can't type herself a shopping list.

Excuse me but I just went shopping and picked up every organic locally grown artisanal low carb piece of produce on my list. Who's laughing now??? :laugh:
 

CzeCze

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Also, I think it's actually quite common for NFs to be very measured with their sympathies. I think particularly NFs who grew up in very cold or abusive environments or suffered a great shock or loss early on - if you are an Fi holder those kind of things have a freezing effect on Fi which is already not prone to expression and needs a lot of time to develop. Fi is not warm or cuddly at all, in fact, an Fi holder is more likely to seem awkward, stiff, reserved, and cold compared to an Fe user. An INFP I knew suffered the loss of a close relative in her teens while already in an unideal family situation, so it made her shut down and get very cold. It's not that anything was absent preventing her from feeling compassion or wanting to help others, it's just that at the time she was so overloaded and still processing her own grief and felt unable to extend herself to others.

I think also being a naturally sensitive person, you learn very early on what your own limitations and boundaries are and your own personal comfort level. You know you can't help everyone and at some point I think the very sensitive NFs decide that they don't want to.

Not saying this is exactly applicable to you, but an alternate narrative for an Fi user.
 

Nicodemus

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Excuse me but I just went shopping and picked up every organic locally grown artisanal low carb piece of produce on my list. Who's laughing now??? :laugh:
:hi:

I didn't say you can't follow orders. Now, who typed that list for you?

On a more serious note: For a long time I thought that people who feel the pain of all of humanity were merely phonies. But I have learned that there are some genuine ones.
 

pinkgraffiti

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No, it actually makes sense, i did read somewhere that Fi doesn't mean you're super emotional, it means you see stuff from your perspective and sometimes it can be pretty cold too. (unfortunately i don't remember the link that explained it better than what I'm trying to say now)

and to the poster above you, [MENTION=5388]CrystalViolet[/MENTION], that could be in the same way as people that watch too many horror movies and then become insensitive. it must be a natural human reaction, i guess. of self-protection or something.

I do.

My tendency towards being cold/callous is a major factor in why I'm reluctant to truly consider myself NF.

I tend to run even colder than you described, and yet I am consistently told I'm an INFP. I guess that is one of the limitations of typology, not everyone fits the profile perfectly. :shrug:

It's actually somewhat comforting knowing that I'm not the only NF with this kind of issue. :)
 

CzeCze

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:hi:

I didn't say you can't follow orders. Now, who typed that list for you?

I typed it all by myself!!!! With Dragon Chat

Who's laughing DOUBLY hard now??? :laugh: :laugh:

On a more serious note: For a long time I thought that people who feel the pain of all of humanity were merely phonies. But I have learned that there are some genuine ones.

You cruel, cruel INTJ. :shakes head:
 

CzeCze

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Then, to put it Ti-ly, you did not type yourself a shopping list: Dragon Chat typed you a shopping list.

No sir. My *voice* typed that shopping list using a program I procured. Ergo, I typed that list. Ergo, I win! :encore:

Seriously, we could go all day with this. :popc1:


I blame my mother's Fe. Being fed spinach until it comes out of your ears, you slowly but surely develop a distaste for it.

Ummmm....is this your Ni way of saying that you were always told to show sympathy for others so you assumed it was a learned social behavior rather than an innate instinct?
 

Nicodemus

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No sir. My *voice* typed that shopping list using a program I procured. Ergo, I typed that list. Ergo, I win! :encore:

Seriously, we could go all day with this. :popc1:
Since I have already won, I shall ignore all further attempts on your part to reinterpret my words.

Ummmm....is this your Ni way of saying that you were always told to show sympathy for others so you assumed it was a learned social behavior rather than an innate instinct?
No, that is my way of saying that, seeing how deliberate an ESFJ's kindness (we may call it Fe) can be, I might have developed a distaste for the sort of things it ususally concerns itself with. But, of course, that is only part of the actual reason, which I do not entirely know.
 
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