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[MBTI General] What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?

FFF

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I was thinking about how much I like NF's, especially ENFJ and INFJ types (ones with Fe), because I really like a girl who is empathetic and nurturing. I guess I never really thought much about how others might not be interested in that at all. I also realized that I have no idea why someone would be romantically interested in an NT, with the exception of girls liking ENTJ's.

I guess if I got more generalized, I'd ask why anybody would be interested in NT's romantically. If I got more specific, I would ask why an NF would choose an INTP partner over other types. If I got really specific, I would ask about INFJ's liking INTP's over other types. I mean I just can't imagine someone going around thinking they would really like to be with an INTP rather than some other type, except maybe if they were an NTP type themselves.

I'd break it down like this:

ENTJ - some people would like their leadership, their focus, their competence, and possibly even their money :D

INTJ - some people would like their intelligence, their wit, and they're good at many things.

ENTP - they can be funny and good sources of information to analyze, but it's INTP's who really like analyzing info all day.

INTP - they can be really unusual and funny, and they are very low maintenance and are often okay staring at the ceiling or the wall for hours depending on which comfortable position they happen to be in, although, they'd rather be reading a book, playing a video game, watching a video, or surfing the web. A lack of hygiene and/or grooming and a lack of social interactions, or at least comfortable, high quality social interactions, can help ensure that your INTP will be yours exclusively.

All of that stuff sounds so cold and unappealing to me, and I can't understand why somebody would want to be in a relationship for any of that without it being based in fear or compromise.
 

SilkRoad

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I think the NF-NT thing is somewhat over-idealized... It's kind of funny, because so many people on a forum such as this pretty much reject Keirsey's take on MBTI, but he totally idealizes that pairing and so do a lot of people, it seems.

I'd probably prefer to be with a T partner, but not necessarily a super-strong T...just someone more logical/practical and less emotional than me...I'm not sure about N/S, though. I've been finding the whole N/S thing increasingly nebulous and hard to quantify, of late. I suppose an N/S gap could lead to further communication difficulties, but I also think this gets idealized and people often assume that communication between two Ns will be far superior. I think there's plenty of evidence to indicate that is not necessarily the case.
 

FFF

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I think the NF-NT thing is somewhat over-idealized... It's kind of funny, because so many people on a forum such as this pretty much reject Keirsey's take on MBTI, but he totally idealizes that pairing and so do a lot of people, it seems.

I'd probably prefer to be with a T partner, but not necessarily a super-strong T...just someone more logical/practical and less emotional than me...I'm not sure about N/S, though. I've been finding the whole N/S thing increasingly nebulous and hard to quantify, of late. I suppose an N/S gap could lead to further communication difficulties, but I also think this gets idealized and people often assume that communication between two Ns will be far superior. I think there's plenty of evidence to indicate that is not necessarily the case.

I think N/S differences result in differing values more so than difficulty communicating.
 

SilkRoad

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I think N/S differences result in differing values more so than difficulty communicating.

Can you elaborate on this? I'm curious as to what you mean. I think I know plenty of Sensors with whom I share similar values...but it may depend on what you mean by values.

In terms of the main premise of this thread... My knowledge of or encounters with male NTs (ie. those I might be interested in romantically) have suggested that they're often too arrogant or too detached from reality for my taste. But I'm a fairly down-to-earth flavour of INFJ...
 

FFF

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Can you elaborate on this? I'm curious as to what you mean. I think I know plenty of Sensors with whom I share similar values...but it may depend on what you mean by values.

An apple falls to the ground, and an S type sees an apple that fell on the ground. The N type wants to know why the apple fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent apples from falling to the ground or how they might be collected as they fall. The S type is like, "Shut up. The apple fell on the ground. That's what apples do."
 

SilkRoad

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An apple falls to the ground, and an S type sees an apple that fell on the ground. The N type wants to know why the apple fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent apples from falling to the ground or how they might be collected as they fall. The S type is like, "Shut up. The apple fell on the ground. That's what apples do."

I think that might be over-generalizing though. What if the S is in the business of...making apples fall on the ground less, or something? Or reducing the bruising? The N type might raise the points you mention above, but the S type might actually be more ready to find real-world solutions while the N might want to keep pondering it on a philosophical level and not do anything much about it. Just a thought.

This is something which comes up a lot on this forum. I'm inclined to think that either N or S types can hold any set of beliefs, choose any path in life, etc, but the difference will lie in how they go about fulfilling those beliefs and paths, what approaches are most effective for them, etc. There are few things that put my back up more than people saying things like "all SJs vote Conservative" or "how can an NT ever be religious?"
 

FFF

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I think that might be over-generalizing though. What if the S is in the business of...making apples fall on the ground less, or something? Or reducing the bruising? The N type might raise the points you mention above, but the S type might actually be more ready to find real-world solutions while the N might want to keep pondering it on a philosophical level and not do anything much about it. Just a thought.

This is something which comes up a lot on this forum. I'm inclined to think that either N or S types can hold any set of beliefs, choose any path in life, etc, but the difference will lie in how they go about fulfilling those beliefs and paths, what approaches are most effective for them, etc. There are few things that put my back up more than people saying things like "all SJs vote Conservative" or "how can an NT ever be religious?"

As far as my example, I just can't think of a good one cause it's 4:30 in the morning, and I should probably be in bed. S types would rather not get into apple falling theories and philosophy. The apple fell. Let's find something else or do something else.

I know an SJ liberal/democrat, and I would be pinned as a religious NT.
 

animenagai

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I like NT's just because I value N conversations, NP's particularly. I think as long as the NT isn't too harsh and has a well developed soft side, the relationship can go really well.
 

FFF

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I like NT's just because I value N conversations, NP's particularly. I think as long as the NT isn't too harsh and has a well developed soft side, the relationship can go really well.

I don't have a soft side. I'm tough. I'm hard as nails. I'm... okay I do, but most people don't get to see it.
 

Nales

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I'm wondering the same thing, except also in reverse.
I think it has a lot to do with being interested in each other's field of thoughts and supporting it with your own methods, and this seems to require a mild T and / or a mild F. Strong Ts will totally reject concepts such as spirituality, while strong Fs will have serious issues doing proper analysis. These persons would fare better with similar types, I believe.

Me, I seem to have a problem with NFJs (and even moreso with SFJs) because I don't like Fe much. I see strong Fe people as having no personal opinion, instead following the social trend in their attempt to socially please everyone. It's not that I enjoy hurting others at all, but I won't pretend to be what I'm not just to please them. Also I have nothing against altruism but I'm not looking to be "nurtured".
On the other hand, Fi I can be interested in. I seem to have a rather high Fi myself, having strong personal values (but not always following them... must work on this!) and frequently asking myself where true happiness comes from.

(I'm not yet an expert on cognitive functions so please correct me if I've made a mistake in my definitions.)

I see N / S as a mediocre long-term pairing. Not because of values, but because of a lack of common interests. The pairing certainly can trigger attraction (pretty much any combination can) but they tend to have radically different fields of interest, and this becomes apparent after they've spent enough time together.
 

EcK

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I'd assume even NFs need someone to admire and look up to :coffee:
 

ceecee

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An apple falls to the ground, and an S type sees an apple that fell on the ground. The N type wants to know why the apple fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent apples from falling to the ground or how they might be collected as they fall. The S type is like, "Shut up. The apple fell on the ground. That's what apples do."

Fine. I'm making apple butter and you're stirring. All day. Just for that S comment.
 

Elfa

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I'll say about this INTP I know. He likes talking about random stuff with me, enjoys "philosophical" conversations, has thoughts and opinions about many subjects and is confortable talking about them, doesn't care much about my appearance, likes to stay at home, usually does the same things that I do, like playing videogame or doing something on the internet, he is very sweet - that INTP's soft side is really charming. He's also easy-going, accepting, not demanding, less emotional than me and usually don't care much for what people will think about him, while still trying to be a good person, which I admire. These are some characteristics I appreciate a lot, and I found them in an INTP, not in any other type. And I think they would be easier to find in a INTP than in other types.

ENTJs I find too judging, and sometimes it may be difficult for me to express a different point of view from them; ENTPs are too worried in having fun and making fun of people, which is a lot less interesting for me than having a calm conversation about anything; I don't know any INTJ. I'm fine with having friendships with any of them, it's just that the people I knew and were these types weren't interesting to me to have as a romantic partner because of these and some other things.
 

FunnyDigestion

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I used to date a few NTs so they could do my homework for me while I did drugs.
 

Qlip

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The idea bothers me that you need to get into relationship with somebody because it would fix you in some way. Like and F needs a T to anchor them. No doubt, it would be a nice aside, but shouldn't we all just get our shit together?
 

ceecee

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The idea bothers me that you need to get into relationship with somebody because it would fix you in some way. Like and F needs a T to anchor them. No doubt, it would be a nice aside, but shouldn't we all just get our shit together?

You would think so. It's much easier to say - they "compliment" me but really they're just cleaning up the messes and making sure the bills get paid.
 

Qlip

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You would think so. It's much easier to say - they "compliment" me but really they're just cleaning up the messes and making sure the bills get paid.

Eh, I suppose self-reliance is just another ideal, and so is lrv. Anyway, I wouldn't automatically count on an INTP to keep the bills paid.
 

Saslou

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I think N/S differences result in differing values more so than difficulty communicating.

I agree with this 100%.

I personally like to associate with ENT's because they bring me out of my shell and are willing to discuss to endless degrees whatever subject we are contemplating. I have no problem with theories and the principles behind them but they have to be high on my values and this is why if someone brings up the subject of Psychology, World affairs or whatever has taken my fancy on that particular day, i'll jump in and debate. With those who are extremely introverted though i struggle to maintain the flow of communication so i don't have much dealings with Ixxx.
 

Nales

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Eh, I suppose self-reliance is just another ideal, and so is lrv. Anyway, I wouldn't automatically count on an INTP to keep the bills paid.
Good idea. If you want to have the bills paid, either find a J or remember to do it yourself. :)
The idea of "fixing" each other doesn't appeal to me either. Paying the bills and other sensory things are important but they're not what an N-N relationship is really about. I'd say it's more like complementing each other's ideas with different perspectives (especially in the case of NT + NF).

Samsara, you seem to be talking more about a very solitary or shy person than an introverted one. Introverts normally have no problem keeping the flow of a discussion or bringing up a new one, provided they think the other person will be interested in it. The only problem is to establish contact in the first place.
 

BlackCat

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Almost every NF I've seen that's gotten with an NT has idealized the shit out of them, but then they came to resent their true, rational side after a while. When their "true colors" show, when they are thrown into difficult situations.

I think that the shared intuition with a different judging function makes for more confusion than anything. They will bond over the intuition, but then they will get put off by the thinking side.

A lot of the stable relationships that I see are usually between NFs and STs/SFs and NTs. I personally am not really attracted to STs... I could see an ST chick being a cool friends with benefits but I'm not sure about anything else more serious (but who knows). NFs... lol. And NTs are just pretty awesome if you find the right one IMO, but some of them definitely seem to need some help in the relationship aspect of life lol.
 
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