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[INFJ] Some questions for fellow infjs :)

Penguin

New member
Joined
Apr 20, 2008
Messages
45
MBTI Type
ENTP
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

and about the first 2, dont think im an INTJ instead of INFJ. I aint. I know that just as well as i know i am a male
 

Kiddo

Furry Critter with Claws
Joined
Sep 25, 2007
Messages
2,790
MBTI Type
OMNi
The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

I don't see anything wrong with that.
1. It's good to have emotional boundaries so other's problems don't unnecessarily become your own.
2. Nobody is going to be empathetic 100% of the time no matter what their type.
3. Sometimes people really do need to just stop focusing on their troubles and focus on their strengths and it can get tiring reminding them of that.

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

Arguing is fun. INFJs are passionate about their vision and beliefs and love to discuss and debate them. I like to make fun of some of my friends. There is also a good quote that DD once posted about male INFJs and how we take certain actions so as to be perceived as masculine.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

Yes, it would be awkward to meet an ENTP in real life. What we have in common is our deep insight, and if we couldn't share that then we wouldn't have much to talk about.
 

quietgirl

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Messages
401
MBTI Type
INFJ
1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

1. I can relate. I get really frustrated when I listen to people go on & on complaining & being miserable but refuse to do anything to change their situation. I tend to listen regardless though, and resist the urge to kick their butt into gear!

2. I have the habit of arguing a bit more than necessary. I've gotten a lot better with the teasing, but I tend to take things a little TOO far when I probably should just let it rest for a couple days & approach it differently. Actually, I think I should say that I have the problem of staying in an argument when it should really just be left alone because I'm at the point of repeating myself and driving the other person nuts.

3. The only experience I have with the NF/NT romantic connection is with an INTP. The connection was absolutely mindblowing, but his laidback ways clashed a bit with my *ahem* less laidback ways and it ended after about 4 or 5 months. Basically, the only thing we had was the connection but the semantics of the relationship didn't quite work out.
 

sriv

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
418
MBTI Type
JIxT
I will pretend I am F so that I too can be included.

1) I feel so sorry for them. Sometimes I cry with them imagining that I am in their situation. I expect someone else to do the same for me when I go to others for my problems.

2) Teasing is fun. Everyone knows that no one takes offense when you tease a little here and there. Arguing is also fun. I can get very passionate about a side I feel strongly for. I never actually get any facts across, but ranting is just as enlightening.

3) The Ni of the INFJ and the Ne of the ENTP lead to very understanding, meaningful relationships. Both percieve information along the same medium, but are different in every other way, so it is a very new experience. My brother is an ENTP and although he can get ruthlessly Machiavellian on me, my F tells me he is a kind hearted child underneath.
 

karenk

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
160
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

and about the first 2, dont think im an INTJ instead of INFJ. I aint. I know that just as well as i know i am a male


1) Maybe we end up feeling like that because people naturally open up to us. For me sometimes people I just met and they may be very negative in their life and I try to get away politely as possible because I don't want to absorb it.
2) It's easy to make friends with fellow Fe types imo. I usually appreciate the T types with lack of Fe but the easy interaction doesn't come. I feel like we are speaking 2 different languages.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst
I'm naturally empathetic. I have gotten tired of the therapist thing if I see a person will not make any attempts at fixing their situation. I can sympathize with people being messes of their own making, though, because God knows I've made most of the messes I've wound up in. :D

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

A good debate can be fun. I'm not much of a teaser, though. When I do tease, people don't know how to take it because it seems out of character, so that makes me even less likely to tease.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?
One of my best friends is an ENFP. My big cosmic chemical click was with an INTP, though. :wubbie:
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
1. I can see that happening. There comes time when I really don't want to be involved as well. I like helping people... but when the person keeps on making the same mistake over and over again. It gets tiring.

2. I'm not much for socializing. I suppose I'm a private person... I wouldn't joke around much unless I'm with close friends. In that case, I might throw in a teasing remark or two...

3. ENTP... I have an ENTP friend whom I argue with a great deal of time. It's mostly friendly bantering to irritate the other person. All in the name of good fun.
 

Motor Jax

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
104
MBTI Type
INFJ
1) i really don't have the thought, but i do quit talking to them about that particular issue until they either do something and it or they just give up. i mean, 10 months of crying about the same thing kinda gets old

2) oh yeah, i will tease anyone and i don't mind the teasing back. its only when personal jabs will be taken defensively

3) my g/f is an ESTP
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

1) Sometimes it just depends on the person I'm dealing with. If I really care about someone, I'll care enormously about their problems and think about them for days trying to find a solution. With other people, I do care, but I don't feel any overwhelming sadness or concern...I tend to detach myself so I can step back and dissect the problem, and then offer whatever advice I can give.

But yes, I do get tired of listening to whining and complaining. When that happens, I usually breakdown (either get angry or get pretty depressed) and feel really guilty when I tell them I just can't take it anymore.

2) I always get exhilerated when I've had my point-of-view/thoughts challenged. I get tired of thinking things and not ever knowing if I'm telling myself BS. I also tease my friends a lot, and I'm of the mind that if someone starts teasing you (on a harmless, joking level) then they probably consider you their equal in some way. That's how I see it anyway.
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I agree with all of them
people have remarked at how outspoken and mean i am
but when it comes to someone crying on my shoulder,
i am there 100%
provided that the person isn't full of it
and i think thats the rub for most INFJ's, sincerity
but if someone gets offended at me teasing them, i just laugh

its probably that darn Ti
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst.


Anyone can wear out even the most sympathetic ear. I have friends that I love dearly but they malinger, pout, or continue to regurgitate the same problems on me - I have no issue with problems that a person is actively working on changing, or persistent problems beyond control that dog them (like my friends with ALS or paralysis, or serious financial problems not of their doing).

I think the key is whether or not you feel like you're being used. Is this person trying to work out a problem and it may be a little messy? Or is this person just griping about something over and over because they want someone else to listen to it? Big difference, IMO, between the two. One is malingering (I had a friend who made her occupation to break up and get back together with her boyfriend, and it drove me NUTS because she'd talk my ear off about it, crying, not doing a thing to change the cycle - frankly, she liked the drama.) One is just the luck of the draw.

Make yourself unavailable for those vampiring monologues. Or, just come out and say, "Pete and Repeat went out in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?" and let them get the hint.

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

A great deal of my friends are Fe (though I'm the only primary Fe in the bunch).


3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

Goodness. The things ENTPs and I have gotten up to. :devil:

I've always liked their ability to take me completely off guard in a pleasant way. It's an entirely different yet symbiotic manner of thinking.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?

I'm sure it doesn't happen every time, but I definitely enjoy ENTPs. I dated an ENTP last year very briefly. It was really intense/passionate/fun while it lasted, and now we're good friends (so it's still really fun). We're both intellectually and personally interested in religion, and we get each other in a way that most other people don't get us. It's good. If he hadn't been in a weird place with dating (and, uh, if he weren't probably doomed to be in a weird place with dating forever), I think it could've turned into something serious. But since it wasn't headed in that direction, we just turned it into a delightful, playful, and also very serious friendship.
 
B

ByMySword

Guest
1) Yeah, usually I don't really care about whiners. The only people I will truly feel for are my friends and family. I do empathize, and I wanna help them, but I can't truly feel the same thing they do because its not me in their position. I'm pretty good at putting myself in others shoes, but I can never forget the reality is that I'm NOT. But on a good point, it allows me to look at the problem from a more logical position, so I can usually help them better, I think.

2) I like a fight, but not amongst friends. That can be very stressing. But yes, The Brothers give each other shit all the time. :D

3) Couldn't tell you. The only ENTPs I've met have been on this site. But I've had a great rapport with them so far.

and about the first 2, dont think im an INTJ instead of INFJ. I aint. I know that just as well as i know i am a male

Don't worry. The INFJ is the most thinking of the feeling types and have many similarities to the INTJ. They can sometimes even be mistaken for an INTJ. I've been mistaken for one before. I recently came up with a slogan for INFJs.

INFJPoster.jpg
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
@ the slogan for INFJ's
Ace !
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
if i get the same thing too much, it makes me feel like dikembe mutumbo or bill russell, drive to the hoop and i'm just giving you the nono finger, get that weak %&*@ outta here, not in my house, etc. it's just being bored and wanting a real challenge, a real problem. Ni wants to work, gimme something INTERESTING. this is silly and the game itself is of no interest.

i respond extremely strongly to emotions, but you have to weasel your way in first. if you don't have a real problem, if you are just caught in a silly and empty tautology that is pointless and is fallow and meaningless to me, if you don't convince me of the severity and urgency of your condition, i will spray a thousand and one yawns with a semi-automatic in your general direction.

i think infjs get especially annoyed bc the talking keeps ruining my attempts to introvert and untangle myself from your chains of gab. the jukebox in my head keeps cutting out when you keep telling me to turn off all electronic devices.
 

musingpandora

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
10
MBTI Type
INFJ
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst

I'd like to say I care most of the time. I have a natural tendency to 'mother' or as a friend says 'become a crutch' which I think has a lot to do with my typology. I do care about my friends and want the best for them. But sometimes? Yes, I do sit there and wonder if I was their therapist. It especially urks me when I have someone coming to me about the same issue over and over (normally something toxic in their life) and while I care and try to help them. . . they may just choose to do nothing about it.

I also tend to help when I shouldn't at times and get incredibly emotionally invested in others problems. In the present, I'm trying to work on emotionally distancing myself so that the toxic nature of my friend's problems doesn't end up tossing me away in a storm of their troubles.

Lately I've begun to see patterns in some of my friends behavior where they do, as you said, seem to make themselves the victims in their lives. They readily step into environments or place themselves amongst people that aren't good for them and do in fact have the choice to not do so.

2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.

Hmmm. . .

I love a good debate about heated topics. It feels exhilirating and it's almost if I'm feeding off the energy when hot topics are brought up. I am enchanted by philosophical, psychological, and even political talks and will readily jump on them at any opportunity.

I don't make fun of my friends or tease them to anger them though. I do however tend to tease when I flirt if that has any tie in whatsoever.
 

faith

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
408
MBTI Type
INFJ
i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst
Most of the time, I really do care. It's pretty rare that I pretend like I care when I don't. I would feel fake and pretentious and unkind.
2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.
I prefer making friends with NTs, but I'm not very good at teasing people. I'm generally too serious. I don't mind if a good friend teases me and makes me laugh--I usually really enjoy it--but I'm no good at play-fighting on a regular basis.
3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?
I don't know. The ENTPs I know IRL aren't particularly articulate, though their thoughts are usually quite interesting. I tend to spend a lot of time listening, then putting their thoughts into words for them, then responding. Fun, but a lot of work.
 
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