[MBTI General] I just pulled a crazy...what's my problem!?

[Sparrow]

I flipped out early today...and wrecked my living room. Fillped over the table, threw shit everywhere, including my only pair of glases. Do I need anger management classes? I don't feel like I do because I usually handle things pretty well. I'm usually very patient, calm, and reasonable. But every once in a blue moon something triggers a crazy rage within me . I feel so down right now. What do I do? What is my problem? Can any one relate or give me some advice?

 

[CzeCze]

I flipped out early today...and wrecked my living room. Fillped over the table, threw shit everywhere, including my only pair of glases. Do I need anger management classes? I don't feel like I do because I usually handle things pretty well. I'm usually very patient, calm, and reasonable. But every once in a blue moon something triggers a crazy rage within me . I feel so down right now. What do I do? What is my problem? Can any one relate or give me some advice?

Holiday stress? How do you usually express your anger? And do you feel rage because you let things go or pretend they don't bother you as much and then explode? What set you off this time?

 

[A window to the soul]

I flipped out early today...and wrecked my living room. Fillped over the table, threw shit everywhere, including my only pair of glases. Do I need anger management classes? I don't feel like I do because I usually handle things pretty well. I'm usually very patient, calm, and reasonable. But every once in a blue moon something triggers a crazy rage within me . I feel so down right now. What do I do? What is my problem? Can any one relate or give me some advice?

Hahaha! My ENFJ sister calls that 'flashing'. Recently, we were out shopping and she said she was about to 'flash'. So I asked her, "what does that mean?" I was afraid she was about to lose her top. That's when I found out what it really meant.

I'm curious, does your ENTP boyfriend have a calming effect on you? I ask that because my Mom tells me that I have that effect on my sister when she gets angry like that. I guess sometimes ENTP's might egg it on too and make it worse; however, my natural response seems to be to calm her down. She responds well to whatever it is I do.

Despite the brief flashes, which seem to be few and far between, y'all have so many great qualities that I aspire to have. I agree with what you said there about usually being calm, patient, and reasonable. I think that's accurate.

Anyway, I love y'all. I usually gain energy when I'm around ENFJ's. I know that doesn't answer your questions, but I did want to share my admiration.

 

[Stigmata]

Nothing's wrong with you, you're perfectly fine. This is a normal reaction to the added stress of the holidays, coupled on top of the normal stress of everyday live. I wouldn't worry about it. If anything, demolishing one's comfortable setting can prove to be a cathartic experience every now and again -- It's sort of like snake shedding and later eating its old skin filled with complacency, bitter resentment, and angst.

*Smiles politely while slowly etching toward the kitchen and putting all the knives in a burlap sack*

 

[A window to the soul]

I feel so down right now. What do I do? What is my problem? Can any one relate or give me some advice?

Go to your nearest ENTP. That's my advice in a nutshell; maybe not the best.

When all else fails, gaze into the lovely snow globe...

NOTE: Please give me a heads up if you decide to throw it, so I have time to duck.

 

[kyuuei]

"handling things well" in the eyes of others doesn't necessarily mean they're handled within yourself. I think if I didn't find anger outlets I'd be a raging wreck too.

It is a tad concerning to completely destroy everything.. Do you work out a lot? Or exert much physical energy in your daily life?

 

[A window to the soul]

It is a tad concerning to completely destroy everything.. Do you work out a lot? Or exert much physical energy in your daily life?

In my experience, that's rare. The only time I've seen my sister do that is when frustrations reached an all time high because one of the following things has happened:

I beat her at a board game multiple times and she starts to suspect I'm cheating, so that final moment of glory suddenly turns into a moment of horror. (She always beats me at running and sports though.)

She's extremely stressed, she wants someone to listen to her and be supportive; instead, she gets negative feedback that makes her feel worse and pushes her over the edge.

She's extremely stressed, she's on a time schedule, she needs help with something, helps not readily available, she panics, and stuff gets broken.

 

[citizen cane]

I know at least one ENFJ, and she has been known to flip out verbally, at least.

 

[kyuuei]

My suggestion, especially if you don't.. is to maybe get something akin to a punching bag and gloves. I'm not an extremely violent person, at least I don't think of myself as being that way.. but sometimes you just want to put your hands on something, ya know?! Having an outlet readily available helps avoid things that aren't meant to be hit from being broken in the process..

 

[Ginkgo]

I flipped out early today...and wrecked my living room. Fillped over the table, threw shit everywhere, including my only pair of glases. Do I need anger management classes? I don't feel like I do because I usually handle things pretty well. I'm usually very patient, calm, and reasonable. But every once in a blue moon something triggers a crazy rage within me . I feel so down right now. What do I do? What is my problem? Can any one relate or give me some advice?

Why?

 

[Kasper]

Are you an Enneagram Two?

If so under stress anger and/or disintegration to 8 can kick your butt.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeTwo.asp

ETA:

 

[INTP]

Do you express your anger easily normally? Or is it that you dont say nutting ever and then explode?

 

[Sparrow]

Holiday stress? How do you usually express your anger? And do you feel rage because you let things go or pretend they don't bother you as much and then explode? What set you off this time?

Why?

I usually express my anger in a mature manner by discussing the issue and talking about feelings shmeelings , I also try to be tactful so people don’t get riled up. Maybe I am too forgiving…and the issues are left unresolved sometimes which then later causes an explosion. What set me off this time you ask….GUESS!!! - My ENTP man…he seems to be the only one in my life right now that really knows how to push my buttons! We were having a discussion so I came up with a resolution and presented it to him...the thing that triggered my anger was in this exchange:

Me: (In a positive way) “It’s a Win/Win for both of us!”
Him: (In an asshole kind of way) “NO, it’s a Win for you!”

That’s when I went berserko. I was so angry because my resolution really was a good one, it was all about compromise and teamwork, it totally made sense! I felt that he was being really irrational and selfish, it was like he didn’t understand or wasn’t listening to me. It really got me frustrated. He tried to make me seem like "the bad guy". HOW DARE HE!

Maybe it was my ego that got the best of me?

I guess I freak out on those rare occasions when I am fed up and feel like the only way to be heard or to be taken seriously is to explode. Plus it just feels so good to break something when I'm this angry (dumb I know)! I do remember as a pre-teen, seeing my mom freak out like this once. Maybe I learned this from her…

Hahaha! My ENFJ sister calls that 'flashing'. Recently, we were out shopping and she said she was about to 'flash'. So I asked her, "what does that mean?" I was afraid she was about to lose her top. That's when I found out what it really meant.

I'm curious, does your ENTP boyfriend have a calming effect on you? I ask that because my Mom tells me that I have that effect on my sister when she gets angry like that. I guess sometimes ENTP's might egg it on too and make it worse; however, my natural response seems to be to calm her down. She responds well to whatever it is I do.

Despite the brief flashes, which seem to be few and far between, y'all have so many great qualities that I aspire to have. I agree with what you said there about usually being calm, patient, and reasonable. I think that's accurate.

Anyway, I love y'all. I usually gain energy when I'm around ENFJ's. I know that doesn't answer your questions, but I did want to share my admiration.

You know what’s funny, he does egg me on, but then he also has the ability to calm me down, weird.

Thanks for the feed back and positive words ☺. Being an ENFJ can be a pain in the ass sometimes…I always say this lol!

Go to your nearest ENTP. That's my advice in a nutshell; maybe not the best.

When all else fails, gaze into the lovely snow globe...

NOTE: Please give me a heads up if you decide to throw it, so I have time to duck.

This would be the perfect thing to break!!

 

[Sparrow]

Nothing's wrong with you, you're perfectly fine. This is a normal reaction to the added stress of the holidays, coupled on top of the normal stress of everyday live. I wouldn't worry about it. If anything, demolishing one's comfortable setting can prove to be a cathartic experience every now and again -- It's sort of like snake shedding and later eating its old skin filled with complacency, bitter resentment, and angst.

*Smiles politely while slowly etching toward the kitchen and putting all the knives in a burlap sack*

Hmmm maybe you’re on to something here ☺. This makes me feel a little better lol.

I know at least one ENFJ, and she has been known to flip out verbally, at least.

Maybe it’s an ENFJ thing? Hey ENFJ’s, do you guys ever get pushed to this level of anger?

My suggestion, especially if you don't.. is to maybe get something akin to a punching bag and gloves. I'm not an extremely violent person, at least I don't think of myself as being that way.. but sometimes you just want to put your hands on something, ya know?! Having an outlet readily available helps avoid things that aren't meant to be hit from being broken in the process..

"handling things well" in the eyes of others doesn't necessarily mean they're handled within yourself. I think if I didn't find anger outlets I'd be a raging wreck too.

It is a tad concerning to completely destroy everything.. Do you work out a lot? Or exert much physical energy in your daily life?

Yep I feel ya…I haven’t been able to work out in months due to an eye problem (optic neuritis). Working out makes it worse ☹. Sucks…

I probably do need another outlet for all the BS on my mind…

There’s this thing called Smash Putt…OMG, I so want to check it out! It’s a destructive miniature golf game, nuff said!

http://www.denverpost.com/entertainment/ci_17019364

“And then there's "The Driving Range," an experiment in aggression and sound that features three, high-powered air cannons that shoot golf balls at an assortment of pingy objects (a propane tank, a crash cymbal, a giant saw blade). “ <- this sounds awesome ☺.

Are you an Enneagram Two?

If so under stress anger and/or disintegration to 8 can kick your butt.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeTwo.asp

ETA:

Not sure, I do have many of the Enneagram Two traits….but I also have many 3 traits. I peeped that link out, thank you ☺. I will have to research this more.

Do you express your anger easily normally? Or is it that you dont say nutting ever and then explode?

Yes I express my anger pretty easily, but at the same time I have the tendency to let things go and sweep things under the rug if the issue isn’t resolved…then later it's BAM!


Hey Typology Central friends, thanks for your responses. I really appreciate it .

 

[Ginkgo]

I think your bf may have a point. Usually those who create win-win situations are trying to win twice. I mean, think about it. One win for setting up the compromise successfully, and another in the compromise itself. Your bf is getting the short end of the stick!

I think you should throw a phone at him though. It would make me happy. :>

 

[Sparrow]

So your saying that Win/Lose situations are the way to go? That doesnt make any sense!

Dude you know whats so funny....the next day he brought up my idea and totally wanted to go with it, because it actually helped him out. What a freakin weirdo!!!!!!!!!!! Rawr! (at him not you )

P.S. I wouldnt throw a phone at him, but I did throw a Burrito at him once lol!

 

[King sns]

I would guess that you've got to be more assertive. Sudden bursts of anger after normally being calm sounds like someone who bottles things up a lot. (It's hard to tell without knowing the exact circumstances though.) Did something traumatic happen that you never fully dealt with?

Edit: Just read the situation with your boyfriend... I'm inclined towards a little type bias here and go with him. I find that ENFJ's can be bullheaded without even realizing it. They think they are "helping" everyone when really they are just trying to have their own way. They can convince themselves that a situation is best and never see the other side of the situation. (Again, I don't know the exact situation, so excuse me if I'm wrong.) But, would auto-lean in the direction of skeptical when I hear an ENFJ saying "it's a win-win for both of us!" Do you have any inkling to what his side of the situation was? Or did you decide that your idea was clearly the best regardless and decide that you were going to go with it? (Sorry, I know that's not really the point of the thread.)

Maybe just a personality quirk.

 

[Sparrow]

I swear, It really was a win/win, he even won more then I did! Dont make me throw this sandwich at you! just kidding .

 

[King sns]

I swear, It really was a win/win, he even won more then I did! Dont make me throw this sandwich at you! just kidding .

*ducks*

Did he win from his perspective or yours?
I lived with an ENTJ BF for a while, it was the worst time of my life. Only love that ENJ "I'm helping you" perspective from a distance. I'm very skeptical.

Edit: He also used to become very angry if I didn't want to follow through with his plans.

 

[Ginkgo]

So your saying that Win/Lose situations are the way to go? That doesnt make any sense!

In my experience, women can get away with winning in more situations than men can. Why not?

Dude you know whats so funny....the next day he brought up my idea and totally want to go with it, because it actually helped him out. What a freakin weirdo!!!!!!!!!!! Rawr! (at him not you )

P.S. I wouldnt throw a phone at him, but I did throw a Burrito at him once lol!

Please tell me it splattered all over him. Not that I have anything against him. I just need to hear tales of burrito splatter.