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[NF] Hate compliments?

Rasa

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INFP
This is an odd topic, and may or may not be an NF thing, but do you dislike compliments?

Of course, I like being respected for my talents and all that, but feel very uncomfortable hearing compliments. And there's one I absolutely hate: I hate to be complimented for my sincerity. That one has happened at least three different times, always in a work or volunteer capacity, after activities like delivering a speech, launching a new program, something like that. It irritates me because what I hear is "Gee, I recognize that you really tried, but you failed spectacularly."
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
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9,827
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INFJ
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9w1
I don't hate them unless they are meant to hurt me. They do make me uncomfortable sometimes because I don't always know how to respond to them.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
Seldom an issue, but I hate backward compliments and make sure the person knows I see through them. If only I were creative enough to return them!
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
i don't mind compliments as long as they are genuine, although i still don't know how to respond to compliments.
 

Tigerlily

unscannable
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I love compliments but don't always know how to respond when given one. It's usually the case where I prefer to lift others up and don't want to make anyone feel bad. Like if I receive a compliment in front of others I wouldn't want another person in the group to think "Oh, well she's this and I'm not" kind of thing. Women are especially terrible imo in doing this sort of thing. Does that make sense? I'm trying not to speak in NF code. ;)
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
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Mar 14, 2008
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MBTI Type
ENTJ
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8w9
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sp/sx
I don't respond well to compliments
i find them lazy
observations, however,
to my approval of depth is considered very flattering

I headed a kareoke night,
and the next day,
some of the regulars complimented me, to which i replied
" nah, it was alright.....
it wasn't a big deal
it could have been done better "

to which they replied " learn to take a compliment......stop it "

but i have learned to keep my perfectionism hidden, thank god
 

Annuit Coeptis

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2008
Messages
51
MBTI Type
intp
Sincere compliments are really great! I give them more than I recieve them, but a good way to respond to one, if you find it difficult, is "Hey, thanks!"

Yesterday my INTP friend said,

"Lance, I don't think you are capable of being an asshole."

I said, "Really? Hey, thanks!"

Stick to the system!
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Messages
2,227
Sincere compliments are really great! I give them more than I recieve them, but a good way to respond to one, if you find it difficult, is "Hey, thanks!"

Yesterday my INTP friend said,

"Lance, I don't think you are capable of being an asshole."

I said, "Really? Hey, thanks!"

Stick to the system!

Haha. :) Welcome to the forum, by the way!

I like compliments as long as they're sincere. If I'm being complimented just so someone can receive something from me, I can usually see through that because those kinds of people tend to be effusive complimenters. Effusive compliments, no. But just a nice compliment? Yeah.

If you think that when someone calls you or your speech "sincere," they're really saying something else, it sounds like you're referring to a forced compliment, you know? When someone just wants to perk you up so they think of just any old compliment? That still seems to have nice intention, but you CAN often see when a compliment is forced just by someone's body language, tone and expression. In those cases, I don't really take the compliment to heart; I just try to take the good intention to heart.
 

wedekit

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2007
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INFJ
I just don't know how to respond to compliments, so I don't like them. All I can do is awkwardly say "thanks" and try to change the subject. It probably also has a lot to do with how most people self-disclose (say something about themselves) after being complimented, but I don't like to talk about myself.
 

Leysing

New member
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Mar 21, 2008
Messages
309
MBTI Type
FiSi
I also don't know how I should respond to compliments. I just mutter an awkward "Thanks" and try to sneak out of the situation.
 

Noel

Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
613
MBTI Type
INFP
Compliments make me feel awkward; I simply do not know how to respond to them.
 
B

ByMySword

Guest
As much as I like compliments, I'm not very good with responding to them.

If its something simple, like "You look nice today." A simple thank you is proper, I think.

But I've had people go on and on. And when they do that, I don't know what else to do besides smile on the outside and suffer on the inside. I mean, I love that I'm being complimented, but I hate not knowing what's expected in my response. I hate feeling obligated to compliment them. lol
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
MBTI Type
infp
I like them when they are sincere but I'm usual not very good at responding to them...
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
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9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4w5
I am a fan of both giving and receiving *sincere* compliments, and am a firm believer that the world would be a better place if people were more forthright in giving them.

But I will admit that oftentimes I will be blushed into an awkward silence upon receiving a compliment that was unexpected. :blush:
 

Haight

Doesn't Read Your Posts
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
6,232
MBTI Type
INTj
I don't need anyone to tell me what I already know.

Typically, I'll focus on the possible purpose of the compliment. But if I view it as sincere, I lose respect for them for underestimating me.

It's a lose-lose situation, basically.
 

sriv

New member
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Apr 19, 2008
Messages
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JIxT
When you think about it, you WANT to be underestimated.
 

Tallulah

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Feb 19, 2008
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6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
I love compliments. I'm always my worst critic and can find a flaw in myself like nobody's business. It's nice to know others don't see me the way I can sometimes see myself.

I don't like compliments that are meant to flatter, though. It's a big turnoff in a dating situation if a guy is overly complimentary to me before he really knows me. It just makes me feel like he'd say the same thing to anyone.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
I like compliments AND I feel awkward about them. It's an NF 1-2 punch.

(Maybe I feel awkward because I like them?)
 
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