[INFP] INFP's and their apperance

[MsBleedingCrow]

I'm sorry if there's already a thread like this, but I'm posting it anyway >

So, over the summer I got my hair cut short for a plethora of reasons, but mainly because it had been shoulder-length my whole life and I wanted to try something new for a change. My friends all loved it and I appreciated the compliments. Then, I ran into my ex the following conversation went something like this:

Ex: "You cut your hair."

Me: "Yep!"

Ex: "It's too short. I don't like it. Grow it back out again."

Me: "Wh-wha? I like this way."

Ex: "Well, whatever. Its too short."

Me: -glares at him in anger, then makes in excuse to leave-

Its happened with a lot of other small things relating to my appearance, too... like make up, clothing, accessories, etc. I was just wondering if any other INFP's get that ticked off if something relating to their appearance is criticized. I don't think its the fact that they don't like it, but rather they're criticizing something that I put time and thought into, that makes me angry.

 

[Tyrinth]

I'm pretty sure I'm an INFP, but not positive so take that into account when reading my comment.

I get kind of like this sometimes, and I think it's more the criticism in general that gets irritating. That's how it is for me at least, I don't like to be criticized, even constructively. I don't know for sure though. *Shrug*

 

[OrangeAppled]

I would find his comment rude because
1. You didn't ask for his opinion or validation or comment at all.
2. He gave an opinion that was more like an order, telling you to grow it out. He's your ex - what makes him think he can tell you what to do with your hair? Even if you were together, there are tactful ways to indicate you'd prefer your partner to have a different hair style.

I can relate to the reason you state, but I'd also have a problem with the above issues. It's not just lack sensitivity, but the arrogance to assume he could tell me what to do with my hair when he's my ex, and the fact that it seems like a low-blow bitter comment to make. All of that would make me steer clear of him permanently.

 

[sulfit]

there are some INFJ photos in this article: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/31-INFp-description-Filatova
and this one: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/31643-Filatova-portraits
(look under IEI/INFp, there is a bunch of photos there, for ENFP look up IEE, for INFP look up EII, for ENFJ look up EIE)

 

[Southern Kross]

Some men seem have serious issues with women cutting their hair short. It's like they think it's destroying a woman's sexiness and somehow they find that personally offensive. My uncle was recently talking about a close friend of my sister who went from long bond hair to a pixie cut (who looks super cute with it BTW) - he seemed disgusted that she would do such a thing. I thought he was being completely ridiculous but at least he didn't say this to her face, like your jerk of an ex.

But I think your annoyance is consistent with any type. I don't think it's specific to INFPs.

 

[Eckhart]

Well, as a guy I don't really get into such situations as the OP, but tbh I find the comments of the Ex make him look like a dickhead / I find it rude. It is one thing to say you personally prefer it to be one way, but a totally different thing to make absolute statements about it and "demand" to change it back. It is not his business after all.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I'm sorry if there's already a thread like this, but I'm posting it anyway >

So, over the summer I got my hair cut short for a plethora of reasons, but mainly because it had been shoulder-length my whole life and I wanted to try something new for a change. My friends all loved it and I appreciated the compliments. Then, I ran into my ex the following conversation went something like this:

Ex: "You cut your hair."

Me: "Yep!"

Ex: "It's too short. I don't like it. Grow it back out again."

Me: "Wh-wha? I like this way."

Ex: "Well, whatever. Its too short."

Me: -glares at him in anger, then makes in excuse to leave-

Its happened with a lot of other small things relating to my appearance, too... like make up, clothing, accessories, etc. I was just wondering if any other INFP's get that ticked off if something relating to their appearance is criticized. I don't think its the fact that they don't like it, but rather they're criticizing something that I put time and thought into, that makes me angry.

Are you over your ex? Because that's what I see here, not anything related to INFPs.

 

[21%]

I'd be offended too if someone said that to me. I agree that it's rude. Why is he telling you what to do anyway when it's definitely not your job to please him?

 

[Adasta]

This isn't a type thing as much as it is a teenager thing, I reckon.

 

[freeeekyyy]

Ex sounds like a jackass.

 

[Saranghaeyo]

I understand how you feel, if I ran into one of my ex-boyfriends, I would want them to think... "Wow... She got hotter." Haha, of course I really do not care what they think, but I am not going to lie, encounters like that amuse me.

For people close to me, I always want to look my best, so I do get hurt if they criticize something about my clothes, hair, or general appearance. For an INFP, I put a lot of effort into how I look, and it hurts when it goes unappreciated, or worse, gets criticized. I am not sure I get ticked off, I just get hurt. But sometimes it is good to have someone tell you you look kind of funny with that eyeliner on, or that sweater makes you look dumpy, but only if they are close to you. Random strangers or ex-boyfriends have no right to be saying negative things about other people's appearances.

 

[animenagai]

Eh, who doesn't? This doesn't seem specific to type.

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

This doesn't sound much like a type issue to me. More like a jackass ex and an young/ eager to please girlfriend issue.
The reason why I say that is because I am INFP to my fiber and HELL NO I would never change my appearance for anyone just to please them. Other true INFPs I know would never do that too.
Why? Because INFPs would go to great lengths to please somebody ONLY if we are genuinely appreciated by the other person, drop by drop. It's us the people pleasers, it's also us the natural-born rebels.

 

[Forever_Jung]

Oh yeah definitely an INFP thing.

As an ENFP, I love when my exes criticize my appearance in an arrogant, possessive way.

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

Oh yeah definitely an INFP thing.

As an ENFP, I love when my exes criticize my appearance in an arrogant, possessive way.

Are you sure, or this has much to do with age and experience too? Because I cannot recall a single INFP I know would do this.

 

[Forever_Jung]

Are you sure, or this has much to do with age and experience too? Because I cannot recall a single INFP I know would do this.

I was kidding, you silly. Obviously it's not an INFP quirk to be insulted in the scenario she described. Almost anyone would be upset/insulted/annoyed by that interaction.

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

I was kidding, you silly. Obviously it's not an INFP quirk to be insulted in the scenario she described. Almost anyone would be upset/insulted/annoyed by that interaction.

Silly me.
Almost everyone would. Unfortunately young birds in love would do "anything" for love, abusive ones. Glad he's an ex.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

Your ex is a douchebag and a control freak. He had absolutely no business telling you "grow your hair back out again because I like it better that way". In fact, that sounds emotionally abusive, to me.

I'm not one personally, but my little brother is an INFP. Even though he's < 12, he shows nearly all the personality traits of one. He likes to pull his pants up really high, and whenever told to pull them down slightly or questioned, he says, "Well, I like them that way!"

A few years back, he was wearing a pair of swim trunks I thought looked a little big on him, but it's not like he couldn't grow into them over the course of another year or he couldn't cinch them tighter. I asked if he could try pulling the cinch more because they looked a bit too baggy. I didn't intend it to be a rude comment, but he was still very upset. I felt terrible

But your ex's remark has NOTHING to do with type......anyone would find that offensive.

 

[BAJ]

I've been shaving my head lately

 

[skylights]

I echo [MENTION=13842]Saranghaeyo[/MENTION], it hurts when someone whose opinion I care about criticizes my appearance. More than type, though, I think it relates to how much of themselves someone puts into their appearance and how much they care about the person who is criticizing.

I think with an ex, even though that person isn't close anymore, at one point you cared a lot about their opinion and it's hard to just suddenly let go of that even if you want to. And yeah, in this case, his commentary was unkind and unnecessary. I think it probably was some of his old feelings of "belonging" rising to the surface. It can be painful to watch someone change without you after you've been close.