[INFJ] Those INFJ Facebook pages can be scary

[SilkRoad]

I don't know if it's the INFJ part, or the Facebook part, or both...but seriously, they just make me want to run screaming back to TypeC.

Some interesting things pop up, but I very much doubt that a lot of the people in these groups are INFJs. The criteria seems to be "I view myself as a special, wounded person, and I'm going to be terribly precious about everything." Taking offense at things that no normal INFJ or just PERSON should be taking offense at. Discussion of other types always seems to cater to the worst stereotypes. Etc.

I guess Facebook attracts a lot of silliness, but I wonder if it's also just the fact that too many people of one type - or too many people who believe themselves to be of one type - in one place at the same time is not really a good thing.

Maybe if I were a type 4 INFJ I'd have more sympathy.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

The Internet attracts a lot of maladapted people like that.

 

[Rasofy]

I heard some scary stories about more realistic people getting ostracized at infjforum. One INFJ was even called INTP (seriously). I mean, you shouldn't bully a human being this way.
I think this is just lack of maturity. While unhealthy INFJs tend to take offense by meaningless stuff and make sure it is known, unhealthy INFPs just ignore and go depressive.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

I don't know if it's the INFJ part, or the Facebook part, or both...but seriously, they just make me want to run screaming back to TypeC.

Some interesting things pop up, but I very much doubt that a lot of the people in these groups are INFJs. The criteria seems to be "I view myself as a special, wounded person, and I'm going to be terribly precious about everything." Taking offense at things that no normal INFJ or just PERSON should be taking offense at. Discussion of other types always seems to cater to the worst stereotypes. Etc.

I guess Facebook attracts a lot of silliness, but I wonder if it's also just the fact that too many people of one type - or too many people who believe themselves to be of one type - in one place at the same time is not really a good thing.

Maybe if I were a type 4 INFJ I'd have more sympathy.

The INFJ forum has this effect on me too. But yeah, the fb group is kind of baffling and the 'similarities' they discuss really seem far more specific to special snowflake syndrome than INFJness per se. I don't have a problem with people getting together and chanting "we're so special" at each other- each to his own- but there is something mildly annoying to me about the fact that they're mistaking it for INFJness.

 

[Vasilisa]

I don't blame you, SilkRoad. I haven't been to INFJs Forum, but I have heard of similar experiences there, Z. But thats not the only place you see this kind of thing. It all reminds me of something I came across:

This is what we call ‘special snowflake’ syndrome, in which the subject believes that because she occupies a subculture mildly different to the mainstream, she is inherently better, and above them. The subject will never state that she is better, but it is implied, as is the belief that she is rare in her qualities, despite, in reality, being an only slightly less common cliche. Subjects suffering from this syndrome have been known to make statements such as “I’m the girl who’d rather stay home reading Harry Potter than get drunk and get ‘sweet hooks’ “, and will frequently act as if she is under tremendous pressure to act like a ‘typical girl,’ not realising that ‘typical girls’ are a myth, and those she looks down upon are not what they seem. <source>

 

[Crescent Fresh]

To be honest, I visited INFJ forum a few times and decided not to join them.

One of the biggest reasons is the forum layout.


I didn't know there's a FB fans page but thought it's really silly to let all of your network to know that your personality type, especially to those who are cynical about it.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I don't blame you, SilkRoad. I haven't been to INFJs Forum, but I have heard of similar experiences there, Z. But thats not the only place you see this kind of thing. It all reminds me of something I came across:

This is what we call ‘special snowflake’ syndrome, in which the subject believes that because she occupies a subculture mildly different to the mainstream, she is inherently better, and above them. The subject will never state that she is better, but it is implied, as is the belief that she is rare in her qualities, despite, in reality, being an only slightly less common cliche. Subjects suffering from this syndrome have been known to make statements such as “I’m the girl who’d rather stay home reading Harry Potter than get drunk and get ‘sweet hooks’ “, and will frequently act as if she is under tremendous pressure to act like a ‘typical girl,’ not realising that ‘typical girls’ are a myth, and those she looks down upon are not what they seem.

Ha!
This also reminds me of how people create these false dichotomies, which often amount to "me vs other", and it involves linking personal qualities to unrelated & rather superficial external markers. Along the lines of the above, it can be an attitude of: "I don't wear makeup. I am not shallow. Girls who wear makeup are shallow! I am not one of them."

I think people can do that with types too. It goes into elitist territory very quickly (and delusional, for that matter).

It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.

 

[SilkRoad]

Ha!
This also reminds me of how people create these false dichotomies, which often amount to "me vs other", and it involves linking personal qualities to unrelated & rather superficial external markers. Along the lines of the above, it can be an attitude of: "I don't wear makeup. I am not shallow. Girls who wear makeup are shallow! I am not one of them."

I think people can do that with types too. It goes into elitist territory very quickly (and delusional, for that matter).

It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.

I agree with [MENTION=9273]Vasilisa[/MENTION]'s post and most of what you said... EXCEPT the phobic 6 part. Just had to mention that. Phobic 6s are usually very keen to find somewhere to belong/feel secure, not necessarily within the mainstream, but not particularly outside of it either. That's my understanding anyway.

I can't say that the "specialness" aspect of a type like INFJ has ever really had a big appeal for me. I mean, realising I was INFJ did help me to understand in part why I've tended to feel different for much of my life. But I felt that way more when I was younger. These days it's more that I realise I'm always going to see things somewhat different from most/a lot of people, but I would rather look for the common ground.

So, people who go on and on about how different and special and broken they are, and how this is the number one thing that makes them INFJ - that just makes me seriously impatient.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I can't say that the "specialness" aspect of a type like INFJ has ever really had a big appeal for me. I mean, realising I was INFJ did help me to understand in part why I've tended to feel different for much of my life. But I felt that way more when I was younger. These days it's more that I realise I'm always going to see things somewhat different from most/a lot of people, but I would rather look for the common ground.

+1

I've always wonder why many INFJs try to feel strongly related to the whole 'psychic' experience and the new-age spirituality. Honestly, I think this doesn't necessary need to frame the whole aura of INFJ as I've seen many types can be very new-ageish.

I think many INFJ often confused themselves as being "different" with the inability to communicate effectively. I learned this because for INFJ, I believe there are many things going in our heads so we need time to prioritize to deliver our message.

So, people who go on and on about how different and special and broken they are, and how this is the number one thing that makes them INFJ - that just makes me seriously impatient.

I would say that's an indication that they're at unhealthy stage. And yes, that can be overbearing for others as they might not be able to them at all. Excessive Ni-Fe in an unhealthy direction can be overwhelmingly burden to people.

 

[Viridian]

It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.

Hey, now! Don't So-dom Fours do the same thing - identifying themselves as "outcasts" and "different from others"?

 

[SilkRoad]

Hey, now! Don't So-dom Fours do the same thing - identifying themselves as "outcasts" and "different from others"?

Yeah, I'd say it's a lot more of a 4 thing than a 6 thing...

Hey! Didn't you used to be a 6, Viridian?

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Everybody's different from each other, yet they are also similar to each other. I feel a bit different from people I grew up with, but there's still an underlying similarity that we have (shared experiences). But I don't let the fact I felt different from my peers stop me from living. There's people out there that share the same interests as me too... so it doesn't make me any more unique or special than anybody else. If anything, if one explores deeply enough, they can find people that share like traits to them... sometimes you have to think outside the box to find it. Why dwell on feeling like an outcast when you can embrace your traits and do something productive with them... make a difference in others' lives.

 

[Quay]

I guess Facebook attracts a lot of silliness, but I wonder if it's also just the fact that too many people of one type - or too many people who believe themselves to be of one type - in one place at the same time is not really a good thing.

Yes, this. I flat out told that one forum that they were practicing typism. One minute, a person is talking about how misunderstood his/her's INFJ "status" is, and then the next, ranting and raving about how ESTJs ain't shit.

 

[SilkRoad]

Yes, this. I flat out told that one forum that they were practicing typism. One minute, a person is talking about how misunderstood his/her's INFJ "status" is, and then the next, ranting and raving about how ESTJs ain't shit.

Yes, from what I've seen it seems to be poor INFJs against the world and ESPECIALLY those horrible ESTJs.

 

[gandalf]

I've had very similar a feeling about some corresponding pages regarding INTJs. Far too often, I find them full of "we are the ones to conquer the world, others are nothing" or similar rant.

I also don't like this idea of announcing ones type on Facebook. On one hand, I consider such information quite private, and on the other hand, I know that most people have no idea of typology and that many of those who do utilize stereotypes to such an extent that I don't want them to know which box to put me in.

 

[Viridian]

I've had very similar a feeling about some corresponding pages regarding INTJs. Far too often, I find them full of "we are the ones to conquer the world, others are nothing" or similar rant.

Or they all but paint them as Machiavellian, amoral power-seekers.

I also don't like this idea of announcing ones type on Facebook. On one hand, I consider such information quite private, and on the other hand, I know that most people have no idea of typology and that many of those who do utilize stereotypes to such an extent that I don't want them to know which box to put me in.

Yeah, I agree with you there... Then again, I don't post squat on FB, despite checking it every day.

 

[Lark]

I've not seen any facebook pages, I joined the INFJ forum for a while and it was fine, actually I liked it, although people wherent exaggerated about their type there or stereotypical they did seem to care about things and had a total search on about a lot of things. I liked that side of things. Really trying to philosophise, research and introspect. Lots of long posts with great links to more material.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I agree with [MENTION=9273]Vasilisa[/MENTION]'s post and most of what you said... EXCEPT the phobic 6 part. Just had to mention that. Phobic 6s are usually very keen to find somewhere to belong/feel secure, not necessarily within the mainstream, but not particularly outside of it either. That's my understanding anyway.

I meant counterphobic...it was late at night when I typed that

Hey, now! Don't So-dom Fours do the same thing - identifying themselves as "outcasts" and "different from others"?

A big distinction between 4s & counterphobic 6s (which sometimes get confused) is that 6s are more likely to define themselves in relation to the group, even if that is "outside" the group. 4s tend to seek unique identities that are not in relation to any defined group. It's more of an inner ideal they create. It's a subtle distinction, but in this case, I think a 6 fits better because the focus is so heavily on a group which is seen as threatening or oppressive. The 4 doesn't find these things threatening or oppressive because they don't have a need to for a group security. If a 4 were to have this attitude, then yeah, it might be the so-dom. However, I still think the 4 would not be threatened or feel oppressed even if they define themselves as an outsider to a group.

 

[Sniffles]

Yeah I visited the INFJ forum, and I sincerely doubt I'll go back.

 

[Rail Tracer]

[MENTION=7063]SilkRoad[/MENTION]

Yes, generally speaking. If you have too many people who perceive themselves as a certain type, there is a high chance that that group will begin to group-think (for better or worse.)

The prime example are the single-type forums, INFPgc was like that, INTJf was like that, and I am quite sure INTPc is like that.