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  1. #11
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Apr 2009


    I agree with @PeaceBaby. The situation is a potential drama-bait and may escalate. Can you get your tasks separated (possibly by the boss)?

    Is there enough cloth to cover both of you? Is the work designed in such a way that it's more convenient to work as a team? Who would be the boss/ the leading man in the team made by the two of you?
    Hot-hearted head

  2. #12
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009


    Thanks everyone for your advice!

    We did end up splitting the work in half in various ways, although it still felt like trying to run a three legged race... Your comments about being forgetful and in his own head are especially helpful as I was taking that too personally and assigning ill motive there. I suspect the insecurity is very real, the leaving me out of things is somewhat real, but also forgetfulness as well.

    I finally Ne'ed the ESTJ to see another solution in which we take ownership of two different product lines, which is the typical arrangment in Product management and this talkes effect in Dec, so until then I play a supporting, strategic role to his more tactical role on the same product.

    The positive reinforcement and not taking his unhappiness to heart has helped a great deal to, as he will rebound pretty quickly and is much more responsive.

    If I had to keep working with him, the hard part would be that is he is very oriented inward to our team but treats our customers as the enermy, which is hard as I am very customer focused.

    It is also very striking the see the Si idea wall in play.... i guess I always saw this with INTPs, but I thought it was just my particular presentation of information, not simply the presentation of ANY new information, that would trigger the wall....It's like he clings to the status quo and is almost a bit disdainful if asked to change...I can give him some Ne perspectives to help, but I just had never noted this before as I hadnt spent much time around an INFP.

    However he gets his own product!!!! Yippie, I am hapy for him, as he has worked very hard on it, even if he drives me a bit bonkers-it is really a sign that they trust him to take the project which is pretty awesome.

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