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[MBTI General] Seeing through people

gandalf

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First if all, I could have as well written this on the NT area but I ended up putting it here now that I am an NT myself and thus might learn more from the NF point of view. And now to the point...

It's said that both INTJs and INFJs have this "ability" to see through people and that this ability of them may even disturb people around them.

I, as an INtX, do recognize this tendency in me to some extent. What I am wondering about is the effect of an INxJ's location on the F-T axis on this ability.

How do strong feelers and strong thinkers differ considering their ability to see through people? What do they actually see and how exactly does that result from their use of cognitive functions?
 
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uncommonentity

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It depresses me. Especially times I've foolishly put my overt faith in someone not to backfire and they've gone and done it leaving me to be like 'fuckin hell, you have potential but you're weak and untrustworthy'. Little do some people know their bad judgement is the reason their life sucks so much. Beaten dogs are more likely to refuse a friendly touch. Do I want to help this person or watch them burn and learn? Tough.

It's just something I've learnt to deal with. People, are going to be people and there's nothing I can do but stick to those that 'Get It'.
 

SilkRoad

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I can see people most clearly when they've let me down badly/shown their true colours and I've gradually passed from dislike through to indifference.

It's not very pleasant though, because I also end up having to question why I was so attached to them when my vision of them was less clear, and what that says about me.
 

Crescent Fresh

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I think Ni-Ti helps in a way because INFJ is quite good at picking up non-verbal cues.

Also, it seems to me that INFJ tend to have a photographic memory that they can easily recall on any tiny event from the past and combined with these two innate skills, along with their constant introspection, it's quite easy to see all the motives behind-the-scenes from people with a hidden-agenda.

Though I can't speak for all INFJs, I tend to give people a chance even when I have an ability to see-through something that I didn't like. All these data will accumulate over time and usually it's due to a direct conflict--then things will start to fell apart when we go back to our memory lane to pick up all these cues.

What I think is that, the reason why most INFJs tend to put people into boxes (due to our J functions) has nothing to do with "judging" among people into good or bad apples, but rather an indicator for us to decide how much we "can" reveal ourselves to others (the fact that we tend to open up at a variety of different "pace" among people we know). Nevertheless, this has a huge part to play with our ability of seeing-through people.
 

SilkRoad

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Though I can't speak for all INFJs, I tend to give people a chance even when I have an ability to see-through something that I didn't like. All these data will accumulate over time and usually it's due to a direct conflict--then things will start to fell apart when we go back to our memory lane to pick up all these cues.

YES. This. This very much applies for me.
 

Tiltyred

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Also, it seems to me that INFJ tend to have a photographic memory that they can easily recall on any tiny event from the past and combined with these two innate skills, along with their constant introspection, it's quite easy to see all the motives behind-the-scenes from people with a hidden-agenda.

^This.
Plus there's something in me that notices the glitch, even a slight one, a little hiccup, stutter-step, it will keep coming back to me. The hole in the story, the note that's off-key. It's like nobody else sees it, but I see it. I don't point it out right away (if I can even verbalize it) because I've learned that nobody else sees it as soon as I do (usually), so I mentally bookmark it and I wait for the rest of the puzzle to fall into place. Eventually the picture starts coming into focus. Over years of people watching and people knowing, when I start to see two or three of those same bookmarks, I start to feel comfortable enough to operate on assumptions. This makes it look like I have some prescience, but it isn't that, it's just pattern recognition.

I'm high on the F, don't remember the number, but it's always been high. INF stays high for me -- sometimes the J falters a little, but it's always J, if even one toe over the line.
 

gandalf

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So far, I am getting the impression that for F doms, it's about reading peoples' behavior and manners, where as for T doms, it's more about the consistency of the peoples' talks. I mean, as a T dom, I never judge people by their looks (behavior, manners etc.) but I very easily catch any logical oddities in what they say or write and that gives me a clue of their hidden thoughts.

The first comments from uncommonentity and SilkRoad were enlightening. I have never thought of reading people in that way but your thoughts seem to be ways of experiencing it as well. What I meant when I was writing the question was the kind of reading that happens in realtime. I mean, some one says something meaning something else, either intentionally or unintentionally, and you respond according to the hidden message, making the person feel awkward.
 

highlander

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It's said that both INTJs and INFJs have this "ability" to see through people and that this ability of them may even disturb people around them.

How do strong feelers and strong thinkers differ considering their ability to see through people? What do they actually see and how exactly does that result from their use of cognitive functions?

I know I do this. I'm much better at it in person though and I'm much better at it than when I was younger, when I think I may have been far more oblivious. A lot of it has to do with combining all different things and forming an impression - what they say, how they say it, tone of voice, body language, the look in their eyes, little minor reactions. I tend to get these perceptions and impressions about how a person might be feeling, their integrity, values, whether they are telling the truth, when things bother them, etc. The impressions and judgements happen very quickly. They do evolve and change over time though. Sometimes the initial impressions are wrong. I guess it is some combination of Ni+Se that is at work. I'm also guessing that the Enneagram 6 might have some role/involvement in the excessive focus on the interpretation of these little clues, particularly negative ones. I can also over-interpret things and over-analyze which is unproductive. I don't necessarily let on to others though what I'm sensing or getting though I might talk to others and ask them what their impression is, sharing mine, if it is important. If I let everyone know what I was perceiving all the time, it would probably share the shit out of them.
 

Crescent Fresh

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So far, I am getting the impression that for F doms, it's about reading peoples' behavior and manners, where as for T doms, it's more about the consistency of the peoples' talks. I mean, as a T dom, I never judge people by their looks (behavior, manners etc.) but I very easily catch any logical oddities in what they say or write and that gives me a clue of their hidden thoughts.

I disagree. I think INFJ (not being an T doms), place an extremely high value on the consistency of the content through our interaction via interpersonal communication.
 

SilkRoad

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So far, I am getting the impression that for F doms, it's about reading peoples' behavior and manners, where as for T doms, it's more about the consistency of the peoples' talks. I mean, as a T dom, I never judge people by their looks (behavior, manners etc.) but I very easily catch any logical oddities in what they say or write and that gives me a clue of their hidden thoughts.

Well, I think INFJs are extremely conscious of discrepancies between what people say and what they do. At first it may be more of a feeling of disquiet or nervousness, not quite being able to put your finger on it; later it becomes a lot more obvious, perhaps when you're at that "putting the big picture together" stage.

I'm curious as to what you mean by "logical oddities in what they say or write." Are you also talking about some kind of statement/action discrepancy, or do mean more failures in logic?
 

SilkRoad

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I know I do this. I'm much better at it in person though and I'm much better at it than when I was younger, when I think I may have been far more oblivious. A lot of it has to do with combining all different things and forming an impression - what they say, how they say it, tone of voice, body language, the look in their eyes, little minor reactions. I tend to get these perceptions and impressions about how a person might be feeling, their integrity, values, whether they are telling the truth, when things bother them, etc. The impressions and judgements happen very quickly. They do evolve and change over time though. Sometimes the initial impressions are wrong. I guess it is some combination of Ni+Se that is at work. I'm also guessing that the Enneagram 6 might have some role/involvement in the excessive focus on the interpretation of these little clues, particularly negative ones. I can also over-interpret things and over-analyze which is unproductive. I don't necessarily let on to others though what I'm sensing or getting though I might talk to others and ask them what their impression is, sharing mine, if it is important. If I let everyone know what I was perceiving all the time, it would probably share the shit out of them.

I agree about the effect of being type 6! I have realised that (in general) while I may sometimes reach over-paranoid conclusions about specific details, the basic big picture that I build up is likely to be fairly correct. If I can tweak those conclusions about those specific details (perhaps trying to get my own negative feelings about the person out the way, and be more dispassionate - at that blessed indifference stage, for instance), then the big picture might turn out to be EXTREMELY accurate.
 

Night

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Hmm.

It's a good idea to stay honest with yourself - especially when you feel confident in defining another person's behavior as a recognizable, measurable entity. Psychology itself is something of an armchair sport - many people are sure of their skill at it, but will often fail to consider the importance of working to falsify hypothesis: especially in a social situation where only a fragment of the subjective intel is available at any time, and relies on years of hidden motive and conscious (and sometimes insincere) behavioral choices designed primarily to communicate -- not necessarily to inform or educate.
 

PeaceBaby

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[MENTION=1425]Night[/MENTION]: nice post.

It's said that both INTJs and INFJs have this "ability" to see through people and that this ability of them may even disturb people around them.

FWIW, I've never felt "known" by either type, here or IRL ... and I can readily feel when someone is analyzing me, scanning me. I find it offensive, actually. Ironically of course, I am sensing people all the time. But, I don't do the same kinds of things with the data that Ni doms do, somehow. I don't make theories about the people? It's a feed, just a continuous data stream. IDK, just thinking out loud, trying to put it into words.

Honestly, now that I am getting older, I care less about concealing my inner world. But I used to block that type of intrusion whenever I felt it though.

I have this sense of what being "known" feels like; it's a rare, rare thing to me.

I've been told by a couple of IRL Ni doms that I am intimidating, but I am not sure what that meant really. It took me somewhat by surprise each time and I didn't ask the right questions to really uncover why. Not sure why it's important to mention, but it came to mind around this topic.
 

INTP

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I only know one INTJ well and all i can say about this is that he is totally blind when it comes to people. i keep amazing regularily how little he sees about people(nice ass he does notice, but thats about it), peoples intentions and what people are actually thinking.

But maybe thats just because he doesent care to notice..
 

Lightyear

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First if all, I could have as well written this on the NT area but I ended up putting it here now that I am an NT myself and thus might learn more from the NF point of view. And now to the point...

It's said that both INTJs and INFJs have this "ability" to see through people and that this ability of them may even disturb people around them.

I, as an INtX, do recognize this tendency in me to some extent. What I am wondering about is the effect of an INxJ's location on the F-T axis on this ability.

How do strong feelers and strong thinkers differ considering their ability to see through people? What do they actually see and how exactly does that result from their use of cognitive functions?

For me I agree with other INFJs that I have a track-record for each person in my head, I remember little incidences and if there are too many negative incidences that make me distrust the person they will go on my "To be watched" list or if necessary on the "Shit list". It might seem like a very judgmental way of dealing with people but I pick up these discrepancies just naturally, it's actually a very rational process, a bit like a maths equation, "someone not keeping their word + someone talking badly about others + someone lieing = person not to be trusted".

I am not sure I can always immediately see through a person. However I have sometimes met people where from the very first moment I have felt that they are sincere and trustworthy and I tend to be right in the long run, I can't remember any of these people ever turning out to be crooks.
 

highlander

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I've been told by a couple of IRL Ni doms that I am intimidating, but I am not sure what that meant really.

Just look at your avatar :).

Scans intensely :thelook:

I only know one INTJ well and all i can say about this is that he is totally blind when it comes to people. i keep amazing regularily how little he sees about people(nice ass he does notice, but thats about it), peoples intentions and what people are actually thinking.

But maybe thats just because he doesent care to notice..

How old is this person?
 

INTP

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Just look at your avatar :).

Scans intensely :thelook:



How old is this person?

25, but i kinda doubt that he will get good at it anytime soon, because hes just so bad.. or well he could read his superhyperoverangerexpressive ex gf, but when it comes to normal people he just simply doesent get how it works. he does claim to notice if girls like him, but in reality he is really lost about this also, except with some one special girl years ago(to which he seems to base these claims to, because he gets really confused with others..)
 

highlander

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25, but i kinda doubt that he will get good at it anytime soon, because hes just so bad.. or well he could read his superhyperoverangerexpressive ex gf, but when it comes to normal people he just simply doesent get how it works. he does claim to notice if girls like him, but in reality he is really lost about this also, except with some one special girl years ago(to which he seems to base these claims to, because he gets really confused with others..)

Hmm... Maybe in another 10 years he will get better at it. Maybe not though. I think I used to suck at it and it's become a strength according to what people tell me. Lots of practice.
 

INTP

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Hmm... Maybe in another 10 years he will get better at it. Maybe not though. I think I used to suck at it and it's become a strength according to what people tell me. Lots of practice.

I dont really get why op claims that INTJs would be good at this, i mean ofc they CAN get good at it like anybody else, but if you need 35 years of training, then thats just a natural weakness.

Imo INTPs are much better at this, or at least get better at it easier than INTJs. naturally its not the strwnght of dom function, so its not going to come before 20's unless a miracle happens..
 

highlander

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I dont really get why op claims that INTJs would be good at this, i mean ofc they CAN get good at it like anybody else, but if you need 35 years of training, then thats just a natural weakness.

Imo INTPs are much better at this, or at least get better at it easier than INTJs. naturally its not the strwnght of dom function, so its not going to come before 20's unless a miracle happens..

Well good point. Maybe part of it is that people feel like the INTJ is seeing right through them because of their beady eyes when NFs tend to not make it obvious but may have more natural aptitude at an early age.
 
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