[NF] Have any of you NF males mistaken yourselves for gay?

[Elfboy]

I was going to name this thread "you're not gay; you're an NF male!" but that sounded a little extreme and I didn't want to deal with 50 "this thread is offensive!" posts.

...anyway
have any of you NF males out there mistaken yourselves for gay and/or questioned your sexuality more than most men?

 

[Mae]

... How does one mistake themselves as gay? Is it like, "I sure wish he'd put his penis up my butt! Ohh, wait. No, I was just mistaken."?
Anyway... my SF said that people just assumed he was gay growing up, females immediately stuck him in the friend zone, etc. But, I'm pretty sure he's never questioned his sexuality. Maybe it's just a common F male thing. A certain look and behaviors. It's been my observation that a lot of NF guys particularly have a "softness" about them. And as people tend to think of most gay men as effeminate...

 

[Lily flower]

Of the guys I know, one INFP was told repeatedly throughout his life that he was gay. He says he is not, but he lived with his future wife for two years and never even tried to kiss her, so I don't know about that one.

An ENFJ I know was not gay at all, but has been hit on by guys since high school. He is also over friendly and a few guys have thought maybe he was interested in them.

Another ENFJ I know is not gay, but he has a lot of effeminite moves, a high squeaky voice, and is very relational with people.

 

[Lily flower]

I should also say that those guys all say they have never questioned their sexuality, although I can't get in their brains. I think it's fairly easy not to question your sexuality when it lines up with what is societally accepted.

 

[Synth]

Ive questioned myself once when I met a man my age by the name of Courtney. Had this thing for hugging on and snuggling anything that laid down, didnt move, and was a human being. Mind you he spent a great deal more time trying this, successfully, on me, and it didnt bother me in the least. I came to terms later with the fact that Im not sexually attracted to men, and that I was just honestly surprised by his show of affection and lack of shame for social constructs. I think that more than any other factor caused me to question myself.

Other than that? No. I should also state that INFJ men are the most likely candidates out of all types to be categorized as homosexual. Im the running punch line of a lot of gay jokes my male friends throw around. Not a bad thing, as they care for me as much as I care for them.

 

[Billy]

No never, I love women. Oh wait you mean to say being gay as in stereotypically having feelings and being in touch with my feminine side and all that?

 

[animenagai]

lol kinda, yes. I like sensitive things like good chick flicks, musicals and I'm not afraid to show my emotions. Sometimes people misread that as being gay, and even though I know I'm not, sometimes my Ne goes 'hmmmmmm... I wonder'. I do find some guys attractive, but that just means that I can appreciate how they may do well in a dating setting or whatever, doesn't mean I want to bang them. So yeah, it's not really possible to not know your own sexuality, but I've wondered before.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Short answer: no. Long answer: not really. I seem to recall a similar thread specific to infp males in which I put a bit more thought into an answer. If I find it I'll copy and paste.

 

[Qlip]

When I was 15 I seriously questioned my sexuality when I found myself highly identifying with a gay TV character. But, it didn't take too long for me to figure out that it was obvious that I like girls. I don't know how that compares to most men. The times are different, the association has a lot less taboo on it. I've noticed the younger crowd are a lot more open to exploration in that area.

 

[Hazashin]

have any of you NF males out there mistaken yourselves for gay and/or questioned your sexuality more than most men?

Of course not, the attractive women are too attractive for that!

 

[The Third Rider]

There was a point in my life where I was very confused where I questioned it but only out of pure insecurity. Part of it was that I got molested by my stepfather as a child and it had some odd psychological effect on me and also at the time I was going under some extreme amounts of anxiety and a lot of other crazy thoughts were going through my head. Needless to say that was horrible part of my life and I can say with 100% honesty that I am straight. So is that what you wanted to know? Although I am not sure what happened to me had anything to do with being type related.

 

[mujigay]

I wonder if it just a thing for F males, in general, to be questioned, because of society's standards?

I have a pretty close male friend who's an ESFP. He's never doubted his sexuality at all, he's as heterosexual as they come. But even if he doesn't dress flamboyantly or hit on dudes or whatever it is people expect gay dudes to do, he's got a certain....theatricality and sensitivity about his demeanor that makes a lot of people peg him as gay at first sight. And if he tries to laugh it off and say that he isn't, they insist that he's in denial.

 

[Elfboy]

... How does one mistake themselves as gay? Is it like, "I sure wish he'd put his penis up my butt! Ohh, wait. No, I was just mistaken."?
Anyway... my SF said that people just assumed he was gay growing up, females immediately stuck him in the friend zone, etc. But, I'm pretty sure he's never questioned his sexuality. Maybe it's just a common F male thing. A certain look and behaviors. It's been my observation that a lot of NF guys particularly have a "softness" about them. And as people tend to think of most gay men as effeminate...

it didn't take me long to realize I was gay (I was 12 lol), but I know some people how have taken ages to figure it out

 

[cranez]

This is a very interesting topic. In my opinion, ENFJs are androgynous.

I say this because I am an ENFJ woman in a relationship with an ENFJ man.

My ENFJ man's behaviour, mannerisms and emotional responsiveness would make you question whether or not he was gay. He's very much straight. Some of my friends have asked if I'm his 'cover'. But we do things in private that prove he is very much a straight man. ;]

My behaviour on the other hand is emotional but more reserved, I don't like nonsense, I'm less 'showy' than he is but I do have my moments that I go all out.

Any who I stick with my statement. ENFJs are androgynous.

Anyone agree? Disagree?

 

[chickpea]

This is a very interesting topic. In my opinion, ENFJs are androgynous.

I say this because I am an ENFJ woman in a relationship with an ENFJ man.

My ENFJ man's behaviour, mannerisms and emotional responsiveness would make you question whether or not he was gay. He's very much straight. Some of my friends have asked if I'm his 'cover'. But we do things in private that prove he is very much a straight man. ;]

My behaviour on the other hand is emotional but more reserved, I don't like nonsense, I'm less 'showy' than he is but I do have my moments that I go all out.

Any who I stick with my statement. ENFJs are androgynous.

Anyone agree? Disagree?

i only know one enfj well, but i wouldn't call her androgynous at all. she's stereotypically feminine in a lot of ways.

 

[Savage Idealist]

I had some bi-sexual esq thoughts and thought that I may be bi-sexual, but as it stands now, that was mere sexual curiosity; I'm straight for the most part.

 

[BAJ]

yes.

I think I'm pretty gay...except for the part about lusting after the male anatomy. My attraction is very mild in that area. If that part were hot, I think it would actually make my life easier.

I used to read all sorts of books about this topic. I have a copy of "Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday life" somewhere.

Eventually I decided that I'm probably not mostly gay.

 

[ceecee]

Any who I stick with my statement. ENFJs are androgynous.

Anyone agree? Disagree?

I'm married to one and he is in no way androgynous. He's this tall, totally hairy, Viking looking man.

 

[amerellis]

I really wouldn't think that type and sexuality are connected but . . .maybe I'm wrong?

 

[Rail Tracer]

No.
I have not question my sexuality.
And I will not question my sexuality.