• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] ENFP's Golden Social Rule

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Though we all know among all NFs ENFP has the uncanny ability to scan/read/empathize people in general, I'm sure there are other social norms which might have set them apart from other NFs.

I once remembered an ENFP told me about one of his social rule: "Tried your best not to show any frustration and disappointment in people. Whenever you are starting to feel the negative energy, try to rationalize it since your projection could be one sided and that's isn't fair."

Another ENFP claimed she tend to think "1000 times first before offering any criticism, even if it's constructive."


What about other ENFPs? What's your golden rule of socialization (especially when encountering conflicts) to keep the coolness in you?
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
my golden rule is "make sure you understand what the person really means before you respond emotionally"
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Watch your words very carefully, as they are extremely powerful.

Words can pack a punch stronger than the world greatest heavy weight and they have an eternal shelf life.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
define the words by the person speaking them
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Always hit at 15.

Oh wait...SOCIAL rules.

Hmm...I will ponder this.
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Think 5 times before committing to something, because there's a pretty damned good chance that you've got too many things happening already.

When talking, there's a good chance that half of what you're trying to express you didn't say out loud yet, you were just thinking about it.. you might have to fill people in on that, or else they'll look at you funny.

When people look at you funny it doesn't mean that they hate you. That's an entirely different look.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.

Now that you've mentioned it, I notice there's a pattern of this among them!


I'm not sure if this is true among ENFPs, but I've noticed that they seem to be the first to break the ice as they're extremely uncomfortable about silence or awkwardness. I think that's an incredible ability to generate a more lively social atmosphere.
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.

This is brilliant. I'm stealing it.
 

Istbkleta

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2011
Messages
452
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Perhaps you meant principle, not rule.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Everyone has the right to their own opinion, and their own life, as long as their actions arent hurting anyone. If I do feel offended, I ask myself where that comes from, before I react, especially if the reaction I am having seems out of proportion with what was said, as it can teach me something about myself. I also try to give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt, and allow ample time for my first impression to be supplemented by additional info before settling at all on a more permanent impression. I hate misunderstandings and this is my standard way of trying to avoid them.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
^^ that first line was almost exactly what came to mind when i read the op just now...and then i saw i already posted

but yeah...just that everyone has the right to be just who they are unless it's hurting someone else.
 

Chiharu

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
662
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Always give simple thanks for major acts and overthank people for small things :D

(A simple, sincere "Thank you" carries more weight for larger things, and no one gets thanked enough for the little niceties that keep us from slaughtering one another).
 

Reverie

In orbit
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
I once remembered an ENFP told me about one of his social rule: "Tried your best not to show any frustration and disappointment in people. Whenever you are starting to feel the negative energy, try to rationalize it since your projection could be one sided and that's isn't fair."

Another ENFP claimed she tend to think "1000 times first before offering any criticism, even if it's constructive."
My husband is an expert on this. I know he gets frustrated when I get obsessed by some problem I can't solve and go on my "hit the library, google endlessly and talk his ears off" binge. He just suffers in silence... and waits for it to go away... :blush:
A few times it's been over something he doesn't in general approve of. .This one time I was into something very obscure and he was very patient for months until he had enough of what he thought was a colossal waste of time.... He just kind of suddenly burst into this monologue, which took me by complete surprise, and delivered the most insightful, warm and humane talk about me, my personality and that what I was trying to do did not make me live my life in a fuller more meaningful way and in general I was not following my true calling whis was _____ , I was wasting time and it was making him feel sad because he loves me... I didn't know wether to applaud him or what. It was spot on. Perfect. First I thought...thank you! ...then I thought...wish you had told me 4 months ago... ;)

Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.
I'm also stealing this. Doing it in reverse is a bad idea. I do that sometimes when everyone loves an idea, just because I get so carried away by the huge wave of happy emotional fuzziness emitting from people because they love the idea andare so happy and excited...and...and... ....to later find out when I'm alone that I-just-can't-do-it-after-all because I don't really want to do it at all... (cursed Fe!!!! )... So I'm printing these wise words. Making a card, laminating it and putting it in my purse just in case.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Look for the similarities then thrive on the differences.
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I am pretty good in noticing when something has changed in a peson's behavior (even pretty minor stuff) but I don't usually have any idea why. So, most of time my observations are correct but conclusions about the reason wrong. So i should't make any conclusions about why somebody's behavior has changed and I really should't speculate about it.:D
 
Top