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[NF] NF's and a clean house

Lily flower

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Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

Any good solutions?
 

Amargith

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I tend to use commercial breaks to clean up when I watch tv. That way I don't waste time sitting around, I know that I won't be doig the boring task for more than 5-10 minutes, and it gets done, while I get to do something fun. We also divide and conquer. I do the shopping, he does the dishes, I cook, he vaccuums. The reason? I reall really hate the sound of the vaccuumcleaner, and doing the dishes. He really hates going to the grocery store and doesnt have inspiration for dinner every day. Divide and conquer.

Lastly, we accept that we're never going to keep it as clean as we both ideally woud like unless we get a housekeeper. But we can keep it managable ;)
 

Qlip

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My house is perfectly clean once every two weeks or so. I've just wrapped up whatever it is that looked like a bomb exploded in my living room. Then I want to make sure the slate is clear for the next one and I go on a cleaning frenzy. No, no advice here.
 

OrangeAppled

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^ I have cycles of hurricane messes & spotless cleanliness also :D

That said, the following (which probably seems terribly obvious, but was not always so to me) helps it stay clean longer & not become such a huge disaster when it does get messy:
- Try and put stuff away immediately. Some examples: when the dishwasher stops - put the dishes away NOW. Keep the dishwasher empty so you can load up the dirty dishes as you eat off the plates & cook with utensils. If you don't have a dishwasher like me, then wash every little thing as you go. Hang up clothes right away after taking them out of the dryer. Put dirty ones in the hamper, not on the floor; it's only a few extra movements. The little extra effort NOW saves you a lot in the future.
- Create organizing systems which allow you to be lazy. Storage is hugely helpful here, the kind of storage which allows you to shove stuff into it quickly. Most decorative stuff & furniture I have doubles as storage in some way. Making storage visually appealing is a good as it appears you've left it out on purpose, or it's just furniture that happens to have drawers or a closed cabinet space. For instance, I toss my jewelery onto a decorative tree branch stand or in an open jewlery box I've decorated with a postcard & seashells. The haphazard presentation looks artful. My printer sits atop a filing cabinet (which makes it "table-like"), with one drawer filled with empty folders & a sharpie I can quickly shove paperwork into & label the folder, so I can still find it easily later, but now it's put away. My nightstand has a cabinet in it to shove bedside books, TV remotes & other stuff I stash on my nightstand. I have plastic bins on wheels filled with shoes under my bed, so I easily can kick my shoes off into them & then slide them under the bed. I'm not the kind to line my shoes up neatly in a closet like my INFJ (as he is a stereotypical J when it comes to organizing). I also have an armoire, so when I am truly lazy I can toss unfolded clothes into it instead of leaving baskets of clean laundry around. Drawers & closest require folding & hanging, which of course, is more difficult :tongue:. Basically, all of my clutter can quickly be tossed away in some nearby storage & easily be accessed later because I have so much storage it does not require much organization within it.
- Keep quick cleaning supplies around. If you do little cleanups here & there, again, it won't turn into a huge mess. It's easy to do this if you shell out a little extra for the pricey, but convenient quick cleaning supplies. The #1 mess in my bathroom is makeup on the counter, so I keep some cleaning wet wipes under the counter to swipe over the counter when I don't have the motivation to get a rag & spray bottle out.
- Make cleaning as fun/laid-back as possible. I blast music, take breaks & eat a snack (but not too long, so momentum is not lost), and promise myself I will be able to relax or do something fun afterward, which will be much more enjoyable with a clean house. Be reasonable about what you can do in time period, dividing up the house if it is large, or cleaning one area thoroughly & the other areas quickly "just for now". In my family, we call this "a lick & a promise" cleaning :D. Don't be a perfectionist (this used to hang me up).
- Be efficient - I switch back & forth between different chores in different rooms to maximize the ease & speed of cleaning everything. Letting stuff soak a bit helps a lot, and in the meantime I do something else, instead of scrubbing my fingers raw. For example, it will be easier to scrub the shower clean if you spray some cleaner on it & let it sit while you do other stuff. The more efficient you get, the less daunting it will seem to clean again in the future.
- Stir your sense of shame - invite people over :D. I will clean like a madwoman if I know people are coming over. It's not just embarrassment at being viewed as a slob, but I also don't like people to be uncomfortable. I don't want them to be scared to use my bathroom or drink out of a glass. So inviting someone over like once a week keeps my messy habits in check, because the messier it is the harder it is to clean quickly in preparation for a visitor.
 

Elfboy

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Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

Any good solutions?

hire a maid service. you can get your entire house cleaned for $40-$60 once a month and save 10-15 hours or so that you can use to actually enjoy your free time :yes:
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
^ I have cycles of hurricane messes & spotless cleanliness also :D

That said, the following (which probably seems terribly obvious, but was not always so to me) helps it stay clean longer & not become such a huge disaster when it does get messy:
- Try and put stuff away immediately. Some examples: when the dishwasher stops - put the dishes away NOW. Keep the dishwasher empty so you can load up the dirty dishes as you eat off the plates & cook with utensils. If you don't have a dishwasher like me, then wash every little thing as you go. Hang up clothes right away after taking them out of the dryer. Put dirty ones in the hamper, not on the floor; it's only a few extra movements. The little extra effort NOW saves you a lot in the future.
- Create organizing systems which allow you to be lazy. Storage is hugely helpful here, the kind of storage which allows you to shove stuff into it quickly. Most decorative stuff & furniture I have doubles as storage in some way. Making storage visually appealing is a good as it appears you've left it out on purpose, or it's just furniture that happens to have drawers or a closed cabinet space. For instance, I toss my jewelery onto a decorative tree branch stand or in an open jewlery box I've decorated with a postcard & seashells. The haphazard presentation looks artful. My printer sits atop a filing cabinet (which makes it "table-like"), with one drawer filled with empty folders & a sharpie I can quickly shove paperwork into & label the folder, so I can still find it easily later, but now it's put away. My nightstand has a cabinet in it to shove bedside books, TV remotes & other stuff I stash on my nightstand. I have plastic bins on wheels filled with shoes under my bed, so I easily can kick my shoes off into them & then slide them under the bed. I'm not the kind to line my shoes up neatly in a closet like my INFJ (as he is a stereotypical J when it comes to organizing). I also have an armoire, so when I am truly lazy I can toss unfolded clothes into it instead of leaving baskets of clean laundry around. Drawers & closest require folding & hanging, which of course, is more difficult :tongue:. Basically, all of my clutter can quickly be tossed away in some nearby storage & easily be accessed later because I have so much storage it does not require much organization within it.
- Keep quick cleaning supplies around. If you do little cleanups here & there, again, it won't turn into a huge mess. It's easy to do this if you shell out a little extra for the pricey, but convenient quick cleaning supplies. The #1 mess in my bathroom is makeup on the counter, so I keep some cleaning wet wipes under the counter to swipe over the counter when I don't have the motivation to get a rag & spray bottle out.
- Make cleaning as fun/laid-back as possible. I blast music, take breaks & eat a snack (but not too long, so momentum is not lost), and promise myself I will be able to relax or do something fun afterward, which will be much more enjoyable with a clean house. Be reasonable about what you can do in time period, dividing up the house if it is large, or cleaning one area thoroughly & the other areas quickly "just for now". In my family, we call this "a lick & a promise" cleaning :D. Don't be a perfectionist (this used to hang me up).
- Be efficient - I switch back & forth between different chores in different rooms to maximize the ease & speed of cleaning everything. Letting stuff soak a bit helps a lot, and in the meantime I do something else, instead of scrubbing my fingers raw. For example, it will be easier to scrub the shower clean if you spray some cleaner on it & let it sit while you do other stuff. The more efficient you get, the less daunting it will seem to clean again in the future.
- Stir your sense of shame - invite people over :D. I will clean like a madwoman if I know people are coming over. It's not just embarrassment at being viewed as a slob, but I also don't like people to be uncomfortable. I don't want them to be scared to use my bathroom or drink out of a glass. So inviting someone over like once a week keeps my messy habits in check, because the messier it is the harder it is to clean quickly in preparation for a visitor.

I do a lot of this. Right now half of my house is spotless... and the other half is "what.... crime... occurred.... here...?!!?"

I usually blast some fun workout type music and whip of a list of what i want to accomplish. every sunday I do certain things like, wash my sheets, wash clothes, pick up kitchen. on the first of every month i wash my mattress pad and any blankets I am using. every three months i wash my pillows....

Every two to three weeks I have a cleaning jihad where I wash floors, vacuum, clean my bathroom, clean out the fridge, etc.
 

Lily flower

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Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.
 

King sns

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SONG GAME IS A LIFE SAVER!!!!!!!!

So basically, put on your favorite pandora mix, and clean each room with a song. (A song for the kitchen, a song for the bathroom.) Go in circles around the house until it is clean or the time is up. You may have to adjust the formula. (Like, I have 3 songs for the kitchen to two songs for the bedroom to one song for all the other rooms.) But it just makes cleaning less routine and more fun. It was invented by my ISFJ(?) friend who has 4 kids under 5, and is pregnant with her fifth. (It's a good-sized house.) She plays it in small increments throughout the day. I just do it all in a half an hour or 40 minutes a day. Depends on the size of your house and living situation.
 

King sns

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Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.

Hahaha. :) That reminds me of the time when my heat broke and my house was TRASHED! I'm usually pretty clean after the invention of song game, but not on this particular day. Dishes everywhere. It was extremely cold out and snowing, probably in the single digits. As I waited for the guy to come out, I put on layer after layer of clothing. No shower. So he walked in to a girl with about 4 heavy layers, fleece pants, a bathrobe, hat, scarf, and gloves. Alcohol glasses all over the counter. It looked SO BAD!!!!!! :laugh: (Thankfully this guy is like a down-home hick guy with no teeth, very pleasant, has come by a few times before for the heat. I don't think he cares too much.)
 

nomoreshallwepart

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Ha, you've just found a big hole in NF relationships. My mum and dad are SFs and are super tidy, I'm a bit of a slob. I'm still thinking that I'd rather have the company of an NF in an untidy house or have to do more housework.

Why don't you have a schedule? You are a J and would tend to be good at composing and honouring schedules. I like to set plans either on paper or mentally for things I'd like to put off. I find that I am good at planning and following through but it is not an inherent habit.
 

Billy

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Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

Any good solutions?

You're an INFJ, you poor Fe enslaved creature, do as I do, invite more people over, you'll be terrified of them seeing what a slob you are and spend more time cleaning. Seriously. If its just me and her I will be like, meh ill do it tomorrow... if I have a guest on the way, its like QUICK! we must clean!
 

ceecee

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Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.

I'm not an S but I love a clean and organized home. My ENFJ is less hung up on it but he wouldn't tolerate cluttered/dirty. Here's some drill Sargent type help. It does work.

http://www.flylady.net/
 

kafkacat

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ha-ha i can so relate, i really need strong motivation to clean. My partner comes over and complains about the mess all the time, i've gotten to the point where i just tune him out. I do make an effort for him, but it never seems to be good enouph. He is really anal about cleaning, he would waste half a lifetime doing it. To me it's a waste of time, as long as everything is organized it doesn't matter if its messy. One can be messy and organized at the same time. I just hope my partner can learn to accept this untidy aspect about my charachter, i care about him and want him to be happy when he is in my environment.

Maybe his nit-picking is just a phase?
 

Thalassa

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ha-ha i can so relate, i really need strong motivation to clean. My partner comes over and complains about the mess all the time, i've gotten to the point where i just tune him out. I do make an effort for him, but it never seems to be good enouph. He is really anal about cleaning, he would waste half a lifetime doing it. To me it's a waste of time, as long as everything is organized it doesn't matter if its messy. One can be messy and organized at the same time. I just hope my partner can learn to accept this untidy aspect about my charachter, i care about him and want him to be happy when he is in my environment.

Maybe his nit-picking is just a phase?

LULZ...no. I'd guess you have yourself an SJ or mayyyyybe an NTJ. It's part of his character and you should accept it if you want him to accept yours.

Lack of external order drives some types nuts. I bet if you made some effort for him he'd pick up the rest of the slack if you guys lived together, because often that type enjoys cleaning, but doesn't want to clean up EVERYTHING if you're putting in no effort at all.
 

kafkacat

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Yup...most absolutely an SJ lol. I did suggest moving in together but he said it was to messy and he could never live like i do.
But i just brushed it off and thought it was bad timing to ask such a question. But now that i think about it, i take it to heart. : (
Does this mean that he could never live with me???? I don't know how to change, I am who I am, and would never be happy being someone different. Nutz...now i'm ruminating about this very issue. I don't want this to create more distance between us, i have a hard enouph time staying in a relationship as it is, and i really like this guy.....
 

Thalassa

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Yup...most absolutely an SJ lol. I did suggest moving in together but he said it was to messy and he could never live like i do.
But i just brushed it off and thought it was bad timing to ask such a question. But now that i think about it, i take it to heart. : (
Does this mean that he could never live with me???? I don't know how to change, I am who I am, and would never be happy being someone different. Nutz...now i'm ruminating about this very issue. I don't want this to create more distance between us, i have a hard enouph time staying in a relationship as it is, and i really like this guy.....

I don't know, I love my clean SJs..but I'm also willing to meet them halfway, like I don't want to disappoint their expectations of order, because I like for the environment to be clean too...just not THAT clean. Their level of clean almost seems like a talent to me, like it's cleanliness carried to an art form, like being able to draw really detailed pictures...I admire a man who vaccuums in the morning. I'm attracted strongly to external order...but yeah, no, I'm not as on top of things as they are and I'm content to let them be that person...while I still maintain a certain level of cleanliness myself, of course.

Is it THAT much of an issue? Like neat freak vs. total slob?
 

BAJ

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I'm cleaning right now.

Motivation: The owner (who provides my housing) is coming to stay with me this week. He is bringing VIPs. There is already lots of failures this year, and I worry about things. Much of the problems are not my fault, rather other people's duties and the economy. However, I've also be criticized that I need to clean the place in the past. I've been warned. HUGE MOTIVATION.

Previously I went and bought about 40 38 gallon tubs from the Wal-Mart. Today I bought more stuff, including a 50 gallon trash can with big wheels on it. I may go back tonight and get more 50 gallon trash cans so that I can have some for laundry management and other stuff. So I'm contemplating how many additional trash bins and/or tubs I need to manage things. In reality...probably NONE.

Maybe I should also buy a pressure washer and hedge trimmer. The former would be for the dishes, I imagine. There is not enough space for a dishwasher.

I'm also piling stuff of mostly sentimental value in a closet.

I cannot force myself to follow any system.

I also recommend the book "Organizing for the Creative Person" because reading is more fun than cleaning...so is reading internet forums.
 

nomoreshallwepart

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My dad is an ESFP but he is really obsessed with cleaning, it seems to go against the perceiving nature even though he seems a classic ESFP by most accounts.
 

KDude

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I'm afraid I'm borderline hopeless in this category.

Although I get these spurts every once in awhile where I pick up and clean like a madman.

Only to somehow have it all a mess again. No one amount of punishment ever changed me as a kid either. My mom was the opposite.. certified OCD clean freak.. and Asian to boot. She gave up.. and so should anyone else.
 

CuriousFeeling

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I prefer to keep my spaces clean, but sometimes I can get lost doing other things that I end up forgetting to do simple things like cleaning. If it gets too close to complete entropy, I end up going bonkers, and like to have places to store things in. What I find helpful to get motivated to clean the house is working with music, or cleaning the house while coming up with ideas and stuff for whatever project or thing I'm thinking of. It's a great moment to brainstorm, or just get lost in my head while running on automatic.
 
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