[NF] NF Male and Masculinity

[rav3n]

Because you are the one who is accusing me of having a victim mentality. I certainly don't view myself that way. Am I venting? Sure. Many people do. Romance is what it is. Feelings aren't always rational and people aren't going to necessarily make rational decisions when it comes to choosing a partner. You can agree or disagree with me. I don't care.

Why would anyone resent an entire gender for a few who don't find them attractive?

 

[Antimony]

Entropie: That should be 'were'. If I 'were' you

And Jenaphor, are you taking a stance against being universally attractive?

 

[Epiphany]

Why would anyone resent an entire gender for a few who don't find them attractive?

I don't resent women. I resent their prevailing preference for certain behaviors in men. You can try to pretend that such a thing doesn't exist, but I won't believe you.

 

[entropie]

Entropie: That should be 'were'. If I 'were' you

And Jenaphor, are you taking a stance against being universally attractive?

Is it the day of "we correct entropie" today ? Is it my fault that you dont speak gangster ?

I go to bed now before I vomit on myself

 

[Antimony]

Mask: I think that most women would prefer more sensitive guys. From what I have seen, it is the idiots who prefer the macho man. I'm quite surprised you haven't seen this trend, or that it isn't occurring where you can observe it.

Entropie: I'd make a bad gangster, what can I say

Please don't vomit on yourself- I can't handle that mental image.

 

[Elfboy]

I don't resent women. I resent their prevailing preference for certain behaviors in men. You can try to pretend that such a thing doesn't exist, but I won't believe you.

attraction isn't a choice. most of the women I know have great respect for feminine men, but they can't help it if they don't find them attractive.

 

[INTPness]

There seems to be a sense of misogyny that overshadows both genders. A woman who is considered to have a "masculine" personality, whatever that may be: vocal, authoritative, take-charge attitude, will probably be regarded as more attractive than a man who is considered feminine: sensitive, cautious, quiet-natured. Again, I don't think those qualities define either gender, but they seem to be stereotypes that are often reiterated in society, blatantly or subtly, by both genders.

I also disagree with the bolded. Not trying to "team up" on you, just simply stating that it hasn't been my observation. I think so-called "masculine" females face societal obstacles that are similar to "feminine" males. They each have different obstacles, but they are similar in nature - and not more "severe" than the other. I don't see "feminine males" as these "weird freaks of nature that have no place in society and whom women aren't attracted to", nor do I see "masculine females" as people who "no man would ever be attracted to".

I do think that maybe less people (as a percentage of society) would be attracted to these two personalities that we're talking about. I do think that "masculine females" and "feminine males" (these terms are actually ridiculous because they are terms coined by society - people are just people - you are who you are) potentially have a harder time finding a mate because they are "different" than mainstream personality types. But, as Jenaphor says, its just who you are. You are who you are, period. It doesn't make one less valuable as a person or anything. It just happens that you find yourself in a minority category of sorts, which all of us experience to some degree in some aspect of life. Besides, both masculine females and feminine males have strengths and positive attributes that they bring to the table and that benefit themselves, the people they know and love, and society as a whole. Being unique, I think, is actually a good thing. It means you add spice to the world, you add flavor. Who in their right mind...........would want to be "just like everyone else?"

 

[entropie]

Just dont become to german. Its a reason why I ran away from them, my english isnt always getting corrected on this forum

 

[rav3n]

And Jenaphor, are you taking a stance against being universally attractive?

Because it's an unrealistic and self-defeating view since no one is universally attractive. Take Megan Fox. There are enough men who don't find her attractive in her entirety which includes both looks and personality although it's more to do with her personality. Should she take up the position of resenting men as a whole, for the few who don't find her attractive? Or someone like Anna Paquin who both draws and doesn't draw men.

I'm using celebrities since they're people most know about.

I don't resent women. I resent their prevailing preference for certain behaviors in men. You can try to pretend that such a thing doesn't exist, but I won't believe you.

The bolded is the same difference. Frankly, that's unattractive no matter what gender we're discussing. To be resented as a whole, for something that encompasses a few or some.

 

[Antimony]

Ent: I promise I won't. Besides, that would be being an ass to do it toooo much. Your english is most remarkable, and I admire it greatly. I too shall speak german one day as well as you speak english.

Its still bullshit. There are a dozen woman on this world who are more educated and who not only look for a partner but a soul mate.

Only 12 women? Or is it a bakers dozen, 13? In any case, that is so few!

Because it's an unrealistic and self-defeating view since no one is universally attractive. Take Megan Fox. There are enough men who don't find her attractive in her entirety which includes both looks and personality although it's more to do with her personality. Should she take up the position of resenting men as a whole, for the few who don't find her attractive? Or someone like Anna Paquin who both draws and doesn't draw men.

I'm using celebrities since they're people most know about.

The bolded is the same difference. Frankly, that's unattractive no matter what gender we're discussing. To be resented as a whole, for something that encompasses a few or some.

Ah, I didn't know it was for resentment. I think it is natural to want to be attractive to a large number of people. I tend to take universally as 'on the whole'

 

[entropie]

Ent: I promise I won't. Besides, that would be being an ass to do it toooo much. Your english is most remarkable, and I admire it greatly. I too shall speak german one day as well as you speak english.



Only 12 women? Or is it a bakers dozen, 13? In any case, that is so few!




Ah, I didn't know it was for resentment. I think it is natural to want to be attractive to a large number of people. I tend to take universally as 'on the whole'

Ok that last sentenced saved your soul, I was already becoming pissed .

"A dozen" is a german expression by the way, its often used as an understatement. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Understatement

And now I really have to go to bed, have to get up at 4 am again Gn8

 

[rav3n]

I think it is natural to want to be attractive to a large number of people. I tend to take universally as 'on the whole'

Then maybe I'm unnatural since it would mean for me to have to bend to external pressures of what's considered universally attractive. Consider men and women who are addicted to cosmetic surgery to appeal to many. Consider people who lose their sense of self, to appeal to many. So counterproductive as a whole when all it takes is to shift perception to the realistic even if it feels brutal to self. It's really okay to only be attractive to some. Really!

 

[Antimony]

Do you consider yourself attractive to only some?

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I nominate this for the most ill-informed, 'typology'-infested bullshit comment of the month.

I found some posts quite insightful and serious, while others turned this into a complete "me Me ME!" thread.

 

[rav3n]

Do you consider yourself attractive to only some?

For certain, I'm not universally attractive. That is fact.

 

[Elfboy]

I found some posts quite insightful and serious, while others turned this into a complete "me Me ME!" thread.

it's not my fault if I give a personal anecdote and people feel compelled to comment on it. frankly I wish they would do so less of the time

 

[Vasilisa]

it's not my fault if I give a personal anecdote and people feel compelled to comment on it. frankly I wish they would do so less most of the time

Did you forget your strikeout tags around the word less?
They are [./s]

 

[Crescent Fresh]

There's another element to this whole thing that I think will especially resonate with most NF males, and that's the need for a Purpose in Life. This is actually where I'm stuck right now, so for the time being I got nothing on how to discover and integrate this. But I do believe that a lot of things fall in place once an NF male is directing his life towards fulfilling his Purpose, and perhaps that is one of the most powerful expressions of masculinity that we can offer the world.

That's why I've always drawn into having deep conversations with NF male. I really like to explore the sensitivity among NF males as I always felt I can be in sync with them. I think extrovert types can easily mask this by constantly being outgoing and active as it helps to draw introverts out of their shells.

Though I think many NF male would assume that it's not an ideal option for them to share such side of sentimentality (as long as it's not overtly emotional) with women as I found that's one of the strongest qualities NF males have in common, apart from other types. Most often they may seem to confuse that as being viewed as weakening their masculinity. I always felt that's what they draw people in.

 

[Elfboy]

Did you forget your strikeout tags around the word less?
They are [./s]

oops, I don't know why I typed "less most".
"frankly I wish they would do so less of the time"
edited

 

[wolfy]

I think it is liberating to feel you only appeal to some people. In all aspects of yourself.

I don't fully understand what feminine or sensitive men actually do so I don't have much to say on that. I feel balanced masculine/feminine is actually most attractive. It's more the indulgent, spray it all over everybody side of both that is unappealing.