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[INFP] INFP's secret desire to be center of attention?

FaboVI

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
6
Hey, this is my story. I do get energized at the thought of being the center of attention, being a rockstar, pro sports-star and I crave people to cheer me on or feel sympathy for me. But when I am actually in a situation like a party, being the center of attention makes me nervous and I do not handle it very well. I think I am an introvert who wants to be the center of attention without actually talking to the people (thats why I want to be a music star, sports star, someone performing for a crowd) but I do not like it at parties. I seem to want this attention infront of a large crowd.

Someone told me that INFP's have a hidden agenda to be the center of attention - is this true?
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
Not for me. I like a lot of one on one attention with people, but I hate being the center of attention of a group. Worst thing imaginable.

INFP usually want their loved ones to recognize something unique about them I think.
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Messages
2,227
Well, it sounds like you just want a lot of love and praise. Who doesn't feel good when they're boosted up by a bunch of people? Who HASN'T imagined being super famous for something the world over?

If you always need to be interacting with people, it's iffy that you're an introvert, but wanting to be famous and boosted up, to me, doesn't indicate either an introvert or an extrovert: it just means you're human and want to be special and leave your mark like most other humans do.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
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Do most people *really* want to be famous? I would never want to become well known, I would hate to lose my privacy of my real name and location. I would be okay with being a well known writer under a penname though.

Look at the hell famous people go through...no privacy. Would be hell for an introvert.
 

FaboVI

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Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
6
Thanks for the response.

I'm very confused because I always want to interact with people and get energized at the thought of going to a party but once I'm at that party I am very shy and have a hard time starting conversation. It's like I transform from extreme E to extreme I, haha. Maybe that's why I want to be famous so badly, I can be the center of attention w/o actually talking to people? Oh and I posted this here because I'm an xNFP. :)
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
Do you feel energized by being in the big group even though you feel a bit shy and nervous?
 

FaboVI

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
6
Do you feel energized by being in the big group even though you feel a bit shy and nervous?

Yes! I just stink at conversation, that's why I want to be a sports star/music star - I get the attention but don't have to do any talking. I sometimes have thoughts about getting injured during a sports match and people being worried about me. I'm a weirdo, maybe I just wasn't loved by my mother enough...
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Messages
2,227
Do most people *really* want to be famous? I would never want to become well known, I would hate to lose my privacy of my real name and location. I would be okay with being a well known writer under a penname though.

Look at the hell famous people go through...no privacy. Would be hell for an introvert.

Well, I agree. I think aside from the harsh face of fame, being praised and boosted up seems like a pretty sweet deal. If you could remove all the negatives of fame (loss of privacy, large masses of people pouring their hate on you once they see a weakness, people treating you almost inhumanly), I think most people would enjoy being considered special, talented, and worthwhile by a large population of people. Leaving a mark and establishing a legacy seems like a pretty worthwhile thing, even if it's usually only a fleeting desire. I think a lot of people think it would be pretty sweet to be considered famous posthumously, like Hemmingway, Longfellow, etc.

Basically, it's just a very human desire to want to be liked, to want to belong, to want to be supported and cared for by others, and the most positive side of fame is that something about you is considered worthwhile by many people. That side of fame is something I think most people would enjoy. I'm not saying everyone wants to be famous, because, as you pointed out, even I look at the negatives of fame and don't want fame because of it, but the self-esteem boost of fame is something I can understand daydreaming about.
 

FaboVI

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Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
6
I never thought of that. I guess that makes sense. Because I do get energized by other people but I have a hard time opening up (honestly doesn't happen unless I'm drinking) and I have a difficult time speaking loudly. Guess I'm an ENFP then?

If this helps - I'm always trying to be like someone else and I can adjust my personality to any type (I just "sense" their style and act like them naturally to minimize conflicts) - is this an ENFP or INFP thing?
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Messages
2,227
I never thought of that. I guess that makes sense. Because I do get energized by other people but I have a hard time opening up (honestly doesn't happen unless I'm drinking) and I have a difficult time speaking loudly. Guess I'm an ENFP then?

If this helps - I'm always trying to be like someone else and I can adjust my personality to any type (I just "sense" their style and act like them naturally to minimize conflicts) - is this an ENFP or INFP thing?

Could be either. Sounds like an NF thing, or even an F thing in general, because all Fs consider the impact of their actions on other people (in contrast to Ts, who are more concerned with efficiency and results). NFs are known as chameleons, but simply wanting to "minimize conflicts" is definitely a quality of feeling and therefore applicable to all Fs naturally. Keep in mind, though, that we all have feeling and thinking in our top four functions, so the lines can blur a little, especially as people age. Ts can have well-developed F, and Fs can have well-developed T, so it's not uncommon to find balanced individuals who consider the impact of their actions on other people and consider efficiency and results at the same time.

I was going to inquire along the same lines as Heart. If you feel energized by people yet nervous around them, it might be a confidence issue. Introverts can be very confident and purposeful in social situations, and extroverts can be very unsure, but the stereotype is that extroverts feel at complete ease in social situations while introverts have no clue what to do. I know an ENFJ who has social anxiety disorder and tends to drink beer to loosen up at parties; she's also afraid of public speaking and voicing her opinions in class.

You seem like an extroverted feeler to me, very possibly ENFP. Welcome, by the way! Enjoy the forum. :D
 
B

ByMySword

Guest
I like it when I'm the center of attention, but I don't want to have to do anything to be there. Moreover, I don't know how to get to that point. I'm not good socially in that aspect. When I am the center of attention, it feels like I'm walking on a slippery pole and I'm about the fall off at any minute. Its very stressful. But I feel good about myself when people notice me in a positive light. But then again, who doesn't?
 

Wandering

Highly Hollow
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
873
MBTI Type
INFJ
Do most people *really* want to be famous? I would never want to become well known, I would hate to lose my privacy of my real name and location. I would be okay with being a well known writer under a penname though.

Look at the hell famous people go through...no privacy. Would be hell for an introvert.
My secret dream is to become as rich and successful as, say, J.K. Rowling, but WITHOUT the fame. A penname would be ideal, yes. Nobody knowing who I am, and not even my friends knowing that I am rich and famous. The best of both worlds.
 

Frank

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Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
689
Hey, this is my story. I do get energized at the thought of being the center of attention, being a rockstar, pro sports-star and I crave people to cheer me on or feel sympathy for me. But when I am actually in a situation like a party, being the center of attention makes me nervous and I do not handle it very well. I think I am an introvert who wants to be the center of attention without actually talking to the people (thats why I want to be a music star, sports star, someone performing for a crowd) but I do not like it at parties. I seem to want this attention infront of a large crowd.

Someone told me that INFP's have a hidden agenda to be the center of attention - is this true?

I think it is just human nature to want fame or power in some shape or another regardless of type.
 

Ender

Large Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
1,090
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w%
Not for me. I like a lot of one on one attention with people, but I hate being the center of attention of a group. Worst thing imaginable.

INFP usually want their loved ones to recognize something unique about them I think.

Yes :)

I generally don't like large groups of people. I prefer smaller groups even down to the attention of just one specific person. I have no real desire to be famous at least not on a large scale.

My actions at times can cause me to end up as the center of attention since theres certain situations where I will jump in and take the lead. Tho in most cases once I realize I'm the center of attention of more then a few people/one specific person I'll start trying to get the attention away from me.
 

Eileen

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Apr 19, 2007
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2,179
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6?
There's definitely such a thing as a shy extravert... and at least context-dependent outgoing introverts.
 

am_i_evil666

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Joined
Apr 3, 2008
Messages
325
YEEEEEEEES!! totally!! INFPs are so longing for attention. they use the "bohemian" appearance, and honestly, they seem really interesting. but in the end, some of them are just posers.
 

SolitaryPenguin

Active member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
824
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Anyone can be a poser, some of us are just better at it.

I can't stand attention, although I love appreciation. i have often likened it to the Wizard of Oz. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." I think we belong behind the scenes, making everything work and look pretty. Just don't forget to tell us what an awesome job we're doing once in a while, that definitely helps motivate us to keep doing it.
 

Ender

Large Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
1,090
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w%
Anyone can be a poser, some of us are just better at it.

I can't stand attention, although I love appreciation. i have often likened it to the Wizard of Oz. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." I think we belong behind the scenes, making everything work and look pretty. Just don't forget to tell us what an awesome job we're doing once in a while, that definitely helps motivate us to keep doing it.

Yes, stop trying to open the curtain :tongue: Unless your Dorothy.. then come on in :devil:
 
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