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[INFP] INFP's secret desire to be center of attention?

Eileen

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Apr 19, 2007
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Absolutely. I'm one of the latter.


As am I. Those contexts are very specific, but sometimes I surprise myself with how gregarious and outgoing I am at those times.

And then there are other times when I'm so shy that I can't speak.
 

Nadir

Enigma
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Dec 17, 2007
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Absolutely. I'm one of the latter.

As am I. Those contexts are very specific, but sometimes I surprise myself with how gregarious and outgoing I am at those times.

And then there are other times when I'm so shy that I can't speak.

I'm the same way. Sometimes it feels like I'm contradicting my self, but really it can be quite refreshing. It's made me ponder about the I/E dichotomy before, but by now I'm certain of the introversion preference.

On topic, I'm more INFJ than INFP, but I find being the center of attention a troubling possibility most of the time, as I pretty much can't "carpe diem" my way through such situations if I'm not in some way prepared for them.
 

Noel

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Apr 23, 2007
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613
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INFP
Hey, this is my story. I do get energized at the thought of being the center of attention, being a rockstar, pro sports-star and I crave people to cheer me on or feel sympathy for me. But when I am actually in a situation like a party, being the center of attention makes me nervous and I do not handle it very well. I think I am an introvert who wants to be the center of attention without actually talking to the people (thats why I want to be a music star, sports star, someone performing for a crowd) but I do not like it at parties. I seem to want this attention infront of a large crowd.

Someone told me that INFP's have a hidden agenda to be the center of attention - is this true?

The concept of attention intrigues me but I have a hard time accepting any sort of praise in reality. Like Heart, I enjoy attention in smaller groups rather than larger groups.
 

kelric

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Hey, this is my story. I do get energized at the thought of being the center of attention, being a rockstar, pro sports-star and I crave people to cheer me on or feel sympathy for me. But when I am actually in a situation like a party, being the center of attention makes me nervous and I do not handle it very well. I think I am an introvert who wants to be the center of attention without actually talking to the people (thats why I want to be a music star, sports star, someone performing for a crowd) but I do not like it at parties. I seem to want this attention infront of a large crowd.

Someone told me that INFP's have a hidden agenda to be the center of attention - is this true?

I think, like folks have already said, that everyone has a desire to be appreciated, and the "good" parts of fame are appealing. But I don't think that you can equate being a rock star or other type of famous performer to being the center of attention at a party. When you're performing, you're not really "a part" of the crowd, and there's a very different dynamic going on then when you're expected to socialize - you can focus on the performance instead of maintaining social concerns, etc.

I don't think that it would be particularly unusual for a very shy or introverted person to prefer being on stage than a focus of a party. It definitely applies for me, anyway.
 

AfterHours

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I don't like attention focused directly on me in crowds or with people I am not close to, though I sometimes have felt the need to prove my worth to people who don't know me well by achieving some sort of success. I don't know why I would need other people to validate my sense of self. (Usually I don't much care what people think about me.)
 

GZA

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Speaking for myself, I love to perform. I love the sound of cheering. When I hear cheering at the beginning of a live record... I love it. Its not a secret desire or anything, its totally upfront. I love to play my guitar for people. I love to do presentations for people in classes. I love to make people laugh.

I think, as others have said, there is a totally different dynamic between socializing and performing. Socializing you are immersed in a group, but performering you are still seperate. I think maybe introverts kind of work in the extreme ends in that sense; either receive information (sitting quietly and observing/thinking) or giving information (doing a speech or performance). This is why small groups are preferential (giving and receiving is more controlled).

Maybe this is also related to how some INFP's want to inspire others. For example, I'd love to use music to inspire people, and performing would be one way to do that.

I don't think its a "I want everyone to love me" type thing, or centre of attention... maybe its just one way the need to express one's self materializes.
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
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It depends on what I'm expected to do. If I have to talk off the cuff, then no, get me out of the spotlight. If it's my birthday and everyone is singing and cheering, then yes, gimme some sugah baby. If I'm singing or reciting a poem, I have more control over the intention of what I'm saying - entertainment and inspiration vs. persuasion or argument - so am more comfortable.

If I'm facilitating a small class for vulnerable clients, I can rise above my anxiety and focus on serving their need. If I have to give a speech or even lead a meeting for colleagues, supervisors and executives, the anxiety level markedly increases.

In general, I much prefer dyads over groups, even triads. Someone's attention is always divided, even among 3 close friends. Then there's the drain on introverts of extraverting one's energy and attention. It's draining to be the center of attention because, while it may be obvious that everyone is paying attention to me, what's not so obvious is that I feel an obligation on some level to pay attention to everyone in return. And that can be overwhelming to my ability to regulate my energy.
 

Pseudonym_Alpha

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Sep 14, 2007
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Not for me. I like a lot of one on one attention with people, but I hate being the center of attention of a group. Worst thing imaginable.

INFP usually want their loved ones to recognize something unique about them I think.


I totally agree. Being the center of attention would scare me half to death.

:shock:

Then again, thats the very big "I" showing itself :p

I make a lot of friendships, but I'm not a "crowdish" person. I prefer the small groups and when the opportunity presents itself for 1 on 1, I jump at it :)
 

EsoteriEccentri

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Dec 23, 2007
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No...
Shy ENFPs that think they're INFPs, maybe.

It's the INFP's worst nightmare, really.
Though they do want to be recognized and cared about, I think.
 

Verania

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Apr 21, 2008
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Hey, this is my story. I do get energized at the thought of being the center of attention, being a rockstar, pro sports-star and I crave people to cheer me on or feel sympathy for me. But when I am actually in a situation like a party, being the center of attention makes me nervous and I do not handle it very well. I think I am an introvert who wants to be the center of attention without actually talking to the people (thats why I want to be a music star, sports star, someone performing for a crowd) but I do not like it at parties. I seem to want this attention infront of a large crowd.

Someone told me that INFP's have a hidden agenda to be the center of attention - is this true?

It might also have to do with enneagram. You might be a 4x3.
 

Gauche

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Nov 12, 2008
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Do you feel energized by being in the big group even though you feel a bit shy and nervous?

But imagine everyone admires you and you are the unwritten leader of that group and you entertain everyone, so you arent shy, just for that one moment, not always; wouldnt you like that?

I think its the thing of Ne.
 

BlueScreen

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I never thought of that. I guess that makes sense. Because I do get energized by other people but I have a hard time opening up (honestly doesn't happen unless I'm drinking) and I have a difficult time speaking loudly. Guess I'm an ENFP then?

If this helps - I'm always trying to be like someone else and I can adjust my personality to any type (I just "sense" their style and act like them naturally to minimize conflicts) - is this an ENFP or INFP thing?

I'd go ENFP from the way you write. The way you work sounds pretty ENFP too. And we are one of the best readers of people and type mimics, like you said you do to minimise conflict.

ENFPs are also known as the introverted extrovert. Sometimes it can be hard to tell which we are. We go through silly sessions where we speak too loudly and get overexcited, and play the court jester. Then we can have a four hour quiet conversation about the meaning of the universe, or just sit there and admire the silence and nature. Welcome also :).

p.s. I don't want to be famous but I want to reach my full potential. Really, the whole fame idea scares the s**t out of me.
 

Nonsensical

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wait, is this for real? I thought that we were INFPs partially because we don't like to be the center of attention. I use to be more extroverted, and turned inward because I felt uneasy round a lot of other people..
 

souffle

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Watch me revive this old thread.. BAM. Mwahahahaha.

I agree with the OP alot. I'm personally really into acting, and I spend alot of time fantasising about the performance night (there's one coming up for me VERY soon), where I will do absolutely awesomely, impress everyone, the play will get a huge applause, and then later, people will come up to me and tell me what a fantastic mind blowing job I did.

I've actually found this is why I'm so attracted to theatre acting; there's the opportunity to be the centre of attention and admired by others, but at the same time not be presently aware that you are- it's a requirement that you ignore the existence of the audience. This is unlike singing or public speaking, where you actually have to be aware of the audience and engage them. So really it's a best of both worlds for me. :D
 

Bubbles

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I act so innocent and adorable, but deep under I am SUCH the prima donna. I love the limelight. I am vain. I gloat over praise. I love congratulatory hugs.

I just look too cute and naive for you to know. ;)
 

OrangeAppled

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I agree that I may daydream of praise, acknowledgment, accolades, etc, but I do not want to be the center of attention. I suppose I just want to do something brilliant and have it confirmed by others as brilliant, but literally being the focus in a room makes me squirm or feel almost faint.
 

Scott N Denver

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I agree that I may daydream of praise, acknowledgment, accolades, etc, but I do not want to be the center of attention. I suppose I just want to do something brilliant and have it confirmed by others as brilliant, but literally being the focus in a room makes me squirm or feel almost faint.

:yes:

Its taken a lot of time and experience for me to be comfortable being the center of attention, even briefly. I still don't like it....
 

Bubbles

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I agree that I may daydream of praise, acknowledgment, accolades, etc, but I do not want to be the center of attention. I suppose I just want to do something brilliant and have it confirmed by others as brilliant, but literally being the focus in a room makes me squirm or feel almost faint.

Actually I agree. Having a party thrown for me will make me incredibly awkward. Being applauded onstage? I will revel in it.
 
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