[Fe] Is Fe fake or manipulative?

[jixmixfix]

If you feel you need to abide by a social standard by smiling, laughing and making other "positive" gestures when inside you feel the opposite that is a sign of being "fake". I'm not saying one type is better than another here I'm just pointing out the flaws that come out in Fe doms. Also Fe doms can be real for sure especially when you get to know them and they trust you but they can also be "fake" to some degree.

P.S please just use "they" next time so your sentence isn't a mess.

 

[Resonance]

not my fault you're slow.

nice logic, I concede

I'm not saying one type is better than another here I'm just pointing out the flaws that come out in Fe doms.

Ok, but whether or not it's a flaw is completely local to your perception. You haven't given a reason for anyone to care what you think.

also, please use punctuation so your sentences are less messy

 

[Rail Tracer]

If you feel you need to abide by a social standard by smiling, laughing and making other "positive" gestures when inside you feel the opposite that is a sign of being "fake". I'm not saying one type is better than another here I'm just pointing out the flaws that come out in Fe doms.

P.S please just use "they" next time so your sentence isn't a mess.

So I am being fake because I think I should wake up feeling happy instead of being sad and tired like many people in this world.
A depressed person is feeling fake because that person is taking meds to stop being depressed, which is what that person is actually feeling...depressed.

P.S. "they" is not grammatically correct when I am speaking about a Fe user and not Fe users.

 

[stalemate]

If you feel you need to abide by a social standard by smiling, laughing and making other "positive" gestures when inside you feel the opposite that is a sign of being "fake". I'm not saying one type is better than another here I'm just pointing out the flaws that come out in Fe doms. Also Fe doms can be real for sure especially when you get to know them and they trust you but they can also be "fake" to some degree.

P.S please just use "they" next time so your sentence isn't a mess.

Why is it fake? And why wouldn't it be fake for them to ignore their desire to abide by a social standard?

If their burning desire is to abide by a social standard, and they do that by smiling even when they are feeling the opposite inside, I think they are really following what is real for them, which is abiding by the standard. To abandon it if they value it so highly would be fake. But then again, if they want to abandon it then they didn't value it that highly in the first place so that person is being real too.

How can you ever be fake?

And... who are any of us to say that someone else's reason for smiling is "fake?" It is their reason, they just might value different things than I do...

 

[onemoretime]

If you feel you need to abide by a social standard by smiling, laughing and making other "positive" gestures when inside you feel the opposite that is a sign of being "fake".

No, it's not. It's a sign that abiding by the social standard and making others feel good are a core part of who a person is, and that this person may be acting in such a way because it helps them feel better. That even if one personally feels like shit, at least one can take solace in others' happiness.

I'm not saying one type is better than another here I'm just pointing out the flaws that come out in Fe doms.

It's not a flaw, no more than your stereotypical tendency to overthink everything.

Also Fe doms can be real for sure especially when you get to know them and they trust you but they can also be "fake" to some degree.

As is everyone, as we all see each others' personae. You always see another person's mask.

 

[jixmixfix]

So I am being fake because I think I should wake up feeling happy instead of being sad and tired like many people in this world.
A depressed person is feeling fake because that person is taking meds to stop being depressed, which is what that person is actually feeling...depressed.

P.S. "they" is not grammatically correct when I am speaking about a Fe user and not users.

No it has nothing to do with the person and how they feel about themselves, it has to do with how people are viewing that person the message is being sent the wrong way.

P.S: There is more than one Fe user in the world.

 

[skylights]

If their burning desire is to [create social harmony], and they do that by smiling even when they are feeling the opposite inside, I think they are really following what is real for them, which is abiding by the standard. To abandon it if they value it so highly would be fake. But then again, if they want to abandon it then they didn't value it that highly in the first place so that person is being real too.

How can you ever be fake?

And... who are any of us to say that someone else's reason for smiling is "fake?" It is their reason, they just might value different things than I do...

+1

i get what you're saying, jix, but all of us have the right to keep parts of ourselves private. if a Fe dom would prefer to smile and create social harmony despite feeling yucky inside, that's not being inauthentic. it's just choosing to keep that feeling private, and attempting to create external positivity.

as far as i understand i think they're two totally separate things... the thought process being less akin to "i will smile so everyone thinks i am actually happy even though i'm not", and more akin to "i choose not to show unhappiness, and i choose to smile because that will encourage pleasant external engagement". it's helpful to remember that many FJs tend to think in terms of behavior. smiling, a behavior, encourages others to be warm and open. it's not just an expression of self, it's also a social tool.

(going off what i've learned from ESFJ mom / ENFJ friend, FJs please feel more than welcome to correct)

 

[Ginkgo]

Tangent:

Do any Ti oriented people see Te as "fake"?

 

[jixmixfix]

No, it's not. It's a sign that abiding by the social standard and making others feel good are a core part of who a person is, and that this person may be acting in such a way because it helps them feel better. That even if one personally feels like shit, at least one can take solace in others' happiness.

I disagree with this as the act is not done in such a way to make the Fe person feel better it's used more as a mask to abide by social norm in such a case. Everyone has their defense mechanisms.

 

[Rail Tracer]

No it has nothing to do with the person and how they feel about themselves, it has to do with how people are viewing that person the message is being sent the wrong way.

P.S: There is more than one Fe user in the world.

How about that? Your message is being sent the wrong way. One person may be currently looking at your post thinking that you are mocking them. Another person may be looking at your post and think the same way you do. A third person may be looking at your post and completely disagreeing with you.

P.S. But I am currently talking about one Fe-user at the moment, not all/more than one Fe-user.

 

[Ginkgo]

No but I find dom Fe types to be blatantly fake more so than other types, they smile for the sake of smiling as oppose to actually feeling happy. They also use common polite gestures in awkward negative situations.

Everyone does that to some extent. That's just a matter of diplomacy, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Fe. I don't doubt that you witness Fe types do this, but is it fake?

While the feelings conveyed by the persona doesn't correspond with the persons' feelings, the persona itself corresponds with the persons' feelings - they feel that perhaps there was a need to be respectful or delicate when the situation calls for it. Is that not, in one aspect, authentic?

 

[jixmixfix]

How about that? Your message is being sent the wrong way. One person may be currently looking at your post thinking that you are mocking them. Another person may be looking at your post and think the same way you do. A third person may be looking at your post and completely disagreeing with you.

P.S. But I am currently talking about one Fe-user at the moment, not all/more than one Fe-user.

uhh ok?...ya you don't get the point. anyways good job.

 

[onemoretime]

I disagree with this as the act is not done in such a way to make the Fe person feel better it's used more as a mask to abide by social norm in such a case. Everyone has their defense mechanisms.

How do you know that?

 

[jixmixfix]

How do you know that?

I've seen it many times.

 

[Rail Tracer]

uhh ok?...ya you don't get the point. anyways good job.

I'll make the point you aren't seeing dry and simple.

What you see as someone being "fake" is not how someone else sees as being "fake."

 

[Glycerine]

One word: perception. Even the self proclaimed objective individuals can be rather subjective because of this.

 

[stalemate]

I declare this thread fake.

 

[wildcat]

Tangent:

Do any Ti oriented people see Te as "fake"?

It is kind of fake. So is Fe.

Ti is thinking. Te is demonstration of thinking.
Fi is feeling. Fe is demonstration of feeling.

Dichotomy: Passive/Active.

 

[jixmixfix]

I'll make the point you aren't seeing dry and simple.

What you see as someone being "fake" is not how someone else sees as being "fake."

I think the majority do perceive it as acting fake, while the minority don't.

 

[A window to the soul]

How do you know that?

Hey, don't badger the witness!

I think the majority do perceive it as acting fake, while the minority don't.

I think you love Fe. A lot...