Until she retired, my ENFJ and I were both in the military and she was senior to me. This made our sexual relationship complicated because fraternization is against the rules and required quite a bit of discretion. She felt somewhat guilty over breaking the rules and was also understandably nervous about what getting caught would do to her career and reputation. This caused her to push me away, very strongly at times and at one point she told me that if I seduced her again she’d cut me off completely – hurt and angry at her (and at myself for being hurt and angry when I knew logically and morally she was in the right*) I decided I would preempt her by cutting her off completely first.
For about a week and a half I avoided being in the same room as her wherever it was possible. I did not say ‘hi’, or respond to her ‘hellos’ when we passed in the hall. At meetings, briefings and training sessions I made sure to be on the other side of the crowd and did not even look at her side of the room. (emotional maturity is not an INTP’s strong suite, and she was right – if we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other then it was the only logical thing to do)
Then, late one evening while I was doing some electrical repair work on the ship’s mess decks (were we eat) the ships choir, which hadn’t met in month and which she just happened to co- lead showed up on the mess decks and began practicing four feet from where I was working.
I knew that she knew that when she sings I go all gooey inside. So I stopped what I was doing, grabbed a chair and probably set there grinning like a fool as I listened to them practice for about an hour. The under-handed, manipulative, conniving wench knew that would break me and she orchestrated a choir meeting for the sole purpose of doing so! The shear deviousness of what she was doing to me, and the way she was using others to get it done without them even knowing what was going on left me in awe of her.
The moral of the story being that a ENFJ may be initiating contact after all, but being clever enough about it that you don’t notice or thought it was happenstance that you bumped into each other.
*When an INTP know his emotions are making him behave illogically, or that feeling a certain way about something is illogical and he or she can't help feel that way any it usually only makes the situation worse for them.