[ENFP] ENFPs in a bad spot.

[Qlip]

I'm doing some ENFP research to justify my recent defection from the I camp. If anyone out there has some perspective, or stories, or theory about how ENFPs behave in ill suited environments for long periods of time. Also, what is the worse place for an ENFP to be in for her/his mental well being?

 

[Lady_X]

i think an environment where no one gets you and you're made to feel like your way of doing things is completely unappreciated and all of your values that direct your life are not valued by others and you have very lil room to shine...or do the things you're good at...or have deep conversations that stimulate your brain and strong emotional connections....i think you just kind of collapse into yourself and get all bewildered and confused and lonely and depressed.

which....would make it very hard to type yourself accurately.

 

[kyuuei]

i think an environment where no one gets you and you're made to feel like your way of doing things is completely unappreciated and all of your values that direct your life are not valued by others and you have very lil room to shine...or do the things you're good at...or have deep conversations that stimulate your brain and strong emotional connections....i think you just kind of collapse into yourself and get all bewildered and confused and lonely and depressed.

which....would make it very hard to type yourself accurately.

:3 I agree. My time in Iraq was one of the hardest times Ive had when it came to interactions, and my interacting with others. Everything was so backwards.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

defection from the whaaaat?!

ok, so a personal example: when i got out of a relationship, i had to decide where to go and live. i wasn't expecting the end of this relationship, was really in love and trying to make it work etc. so when it ended i felt like someone took a rug from under my feet etc, didn't know what to do, what to CHOOSE, my intuition wasn't working at all (i normally make choices intuitively) because the end of the relationship had made me lose total sense of perspective and priority....ok? so, made a total random decision........ in this new place i found myself in i was feeling horrible: the city was DULL, conservative, my workplace similar, people were not very empathetic, not very talkative, my boss was terrible etc. I wanted to escape. BUT i knew that for my better good (financial reasons mainly) it was important that i stayed for a whole year.....so i postponed my feelings and became really rational (Te in full force). After some months total PSYCHOSOMATISATION - gigantic, out of nowhere, BACKPAIN.....i couldn't understand where it came from.....trying to make a reasoning out of it, started having ANXIETY. Basically went from a cycle of either having anxiety or backpain. The backpain appeared when i COULDN'T deal with feelings,being afraid,anxiety,etc. The anxiety appeared when i was trying to solve my backpain (understand the issue underlying it etc). The only thing that made me stay above the water was my friends. Jeesh I have a huge safetynet that are my friends, they are my base in life and the only thing i need to be alright. So after that year, and "with a little help from my friends", I did some sacrificies, worked really hard, finally managed to go live in the place I wanted and do what i wanted, and now i'm a happy pigeon

 

[Qlip]

defection from the whaaaat?!

Well, believe it or not I tested as an INTP and started hanging out at INTPc. It's been a long road.

Hah.. my story is different than yours, but all your capped letters are relevant. And you did mention the thing I was wondering most about, becoming ultra rational.

I'm convinced I'm ENFP because all the functions make sense to me, and so does the profile, except maybe on a toned down scale. Other types I've tried on I've found partially bewildering.

I grew up in this cultish religion that basically makes you wear suits way too much, get nice clean haircuts and everybody snitches on everyone else if they aren't conducting themselves in a 'Godly' manner. I left them and then I married at 17 to a very uncommunicative older than me lady who put a lot of pressure on me to be like her dad. Her family is very conservative. I actually was out watching a movie with a friend (male), which was a very rare occurance, and one of her aunts happened to be in the same shopping mall and 'tsk-tked' me for being out without my wife and had disdainful things to say to the in-laws.

I'm just barely getting perspective on it, but I became hyper rational. I didn't trust myself and my impulses, and everything I did was very empty and dictated by 'shoulds'. I'm married, so I should plan on a family, I should get a career, I should get a house. So, I ended up at 19 starting in a very conservative company as a computer programmer, owning a house and having my first kid. I wasn't feeling any of it and spent the next decade trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

It's great that you had close friends to help you out. Happy endings are what it's all about.

 

[Lady_X]

aww wow...that's a lot. forced into a life you weren't ready for...and with someone who wasn't right for you...trying to play grown up and father children before you even came to terms with yourself as an adult or your own childhood...damn...that's just a lot q.

so...now you're just starting life over completely and figuring out who you are and where you want to be in your life. well...i'm so happy to hear that you've made changes and are on your own path now....things will get so much better.

 

[Qlip]

aww wow...that's a lot. forced into a life you weren't ready for...and with someone who wasn't right for you...trying to play grown up and father children before you even came to terms with yourself as an adult or your own childhood...damn...that's just a lot q.

so...now you're just starting life over completely and figuring out who you are and where you want to be in your life. well...i'm so happy to hear that you've made changes and are on your own path now....things will get so much better.

Hah.. I wasn't fishing for sympathy, but the story does sound pretty pitiful.. thanks . Oh, things are geometrically better, and I can't see anything but good ahead.

 

[Lady_X]

oh sorry i know ya weren't and i didn't mean to sound like oh you poor dear...just damn...that was a lot! and i'm glad things are changing for the better.