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[ENFJ] How can you see yourself as others see you?

Lily flower

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Jun 28, 2010
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Is it possible to be able to see yourself as others see you? Is there some specific skill or something you do that enables you to see yourself from outside yourself?

I feel like I have absolutely no idea how I come across to people. I realize that some people will like or dislike the exact same attributes in someone, but I would kind of like to know in general how I come across.

I get two things all the time "You're really funny." and "You share stuff that everyone else is thinking but no one wants to say." That's all the feedback I ever get.
 

Malkavia

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My ENFJ friend and I would actually give constant feedback to each other, but it was an intentional thing.

We made a list of each other's strengths and weaknesses and how we could work on them. It was eye opening for both of us on some points.
 

Lady_X

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post a video and we can give you our impressions....won't be as accurate as asking your friends and family tho so maybe just do that.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Interesting question. I had considering starting a similar thread, but never did. I have the same trouble: hardly anyone ever gives me direct feedback other than work-related performance feedback, and I do not know how much one can glean from indirect cues. In general it doesn't matter, since I can judge my successes or failures myself, but the additional information might prove useful.
 

FunnyDigestion

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You gotta send out moles, secret agents, double agents, hidden cameras, microphones, infrared see-thru binoculars & telescopes, one-way mirrors... the budget can get overwhelming but it's worth it. How else do you go about building your hit-list?
 

wolfy

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Listening to what people say, becoming aware of your own tendencies, most importantly what others do and how they react. It's irrelevant what others think in a way, because it is so dynamic.
 

skylights

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My ENFJ friend and I would actually give constant feedback to each other, but it was an intentional thing.

We made a list of each other's strengths and weaknesses and how we could work on them. It was eye opening for both of us on some points.

that's awesome. makes me want to do that with my enfj friend. would you mind sharing the most surprising things?
 
0

011235813

Guest
I'm always surprised by how people see me: not only when they see traits that I didn't know I possessed (some are misattributions but others do provide food for thought) but also when they spot things that I thought I'd kept hidden safely from prying eyes. I'm generally oblivious so I'm always mildly amazed when other people dazzle me with their powers of perception.

In terms of practical measures, perhaps you could try setting up Johari and Nohari windows and inviting feedback from others?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Listening to what people say, becoming aware of your own tendencies, most importantly what others do and how they react. It's irrelevant what others think in a way, because it is so dynamic.
I can hear what people say, and watch what they do, but I never know how to interpret any of it, short of an explicit statement. It seems far too easy to assume something completely different from what they really think.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I can hear what people say, and watch what they do, but I never know how to interpret any of it, short of an explicit statement. It seems far too easy to assume something completely different from what they really think.

You'll never know for sure.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Idk, I can see myself from the outside, but I still can't see what others do.
 
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