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[MBTI General] How to piss an idealist off

A

Anew Leaf

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I usually feel upset (I think pissed is such a strong word) when people always making wrong quick judgements of me, without any serious attempt trying to get to know me first.

I'm also not really good at making a great first impression as I'm quite reserved, shy, and also having a cold exterior certainly doesn't help either. I just didn't really hate it when people make a blatant judgement on some one just based on a few conversations here and there.

Actually, I do judge a person based on what they say both in public and private, but I would keep collecting those cues inwardly without expressing them outwardly, especially if the judgement can be seen as somewhat negative.


Oh, another thing which can really upset me is when people who you thought they are important to you are not there for you when needed. I think most INFJs really cherish people who they are very close to, as that immediately implied that a massive amount of trust and patience has been invested in the relationship. I'm not sure if it has to do with how INFJs set their pars too high for others, but once we started dropping the signs of seeking reassurance from people, we are really desperate. And it can be really upsetting when these people can be around you.

I suppose being a counselor can be such a lone journey when there's no other counselors to assist us in return. :(

Yeah #4- being taken for granted.
#5- people who expect you to conform to their needs with zero desire to conform to yours.
 

Santosha

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Sa weet! They fixed my thread title without me asking. Must have been INCREDIBLY annoying. :wink:
 

Qlip

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Being stonewalled. That makes me angry. Say "No!", say that you need to think, you need time, you need space, but say something. Silence makes me feel like you think of me as an object and not a person.
 

Santosha

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I tend to run into ^--- "stonewalled" in my close relations with introverted thinkers. Not saying it's exclusive to them, but wow this is a hard one for me. First, I think that acknowledgment should just go without saying, being a respectful or decent reaction. Even if that is "I don't know what to say" like you mentioned. But it is sooo frusterating for me to understand "needing time to process" thoughts and feelings. It's just so foreign to the way I roll. All my thoughts & feelings are right at the forefront.. ask me whats on my mind or how I'm feeling and BAM- it's out my mouth. I sometimes bloviate outloud before I reach the key points.. but still. How can you not know how you think or what you feel? I wanted to start a thread topic on this alone.. in hopes someone might articulate what is going on in the mind with this.

Ofcourse, this is with what I perceive as simple communiation. I completely understand needing time to process on big decisions. Otherwise, I just don't get it...
 

Qlip

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I tend to run into ^--- "stonewalled" in my close relations with introverted thinkers. Not saying it's exclusive to them, but wow this is a hard one for me. First, I think that acknowledgment should just go without saying, being a respectful or decent reaction. Even if that is "I don't know what to say" like you mentioned. But it is sooo frusterating for me to understand "needing time to process" thoughts and feelings. It's just so foreign to the way I roll. All my thoughts & feelings are right at the forefront.. ask me whats on my mind or how I'm feeling and BAM- it's out my mouth. I sometimes bloviate outloud before I reach the key points.. but still. How can you not know how you think or what you feel? I wanted to start a thread topic on this alone.. in hopes someone might articulate what is going on in the mind with this.

Ofcourse, this is with what I perceive as simple communiation. I completely understand needing time to process on big decisions. Otherwise, I just don't get it...

Exactly. This was a major factor in my past relationships ending. There was a lot that I had to learn about the situation with the ISxJ but she never managed to meet me halfway on this one, and any progress on her part felt like pulling teeth on my part.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I tend to run into ^--- "stonewalled" in my close relations with introverted thinkers. Not saying it's exclusive to them, but wow this is a hard one for me. First, I think that acknowledgment should just go without saying, being a respectful or decent reaction. Even if that is "I don't know what to say" like you mentioned. But it is sooo frusterating for me to understand "needing time to process" thoughts and feelings. It's just so foreign to the way I roll. All my thoughts & feelings are right at the forefront.. ask me whats on my mind or how I'm feeling and BAM- it's out my mouth. I sometimes bloviate outloud before I reach the key points.. but still. How can you not know how you think or what you feel? I wanted to start a thread topic on this alone.. in hopes someone might articulate what is going on in the mind with this.

Ofcourse, this is with what I perceive as simple communiation. I completely understand needing time to process on big decisions. Otherwise, I just don't get it...

*coughs delicately* Hi, Enfp.... ;)
 
A

Anew Leaf

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You piss off an idealist by killing cats, bunnies, and bears for fur.:shocking:

Before you go on your killing spree, I could use some help with my bike. It's making this WEIRD noise... and the chain keeps catching... and I just don't understand these things.
 

Santosha

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Before you go on your killing spree, I could use some help with my bike. It's making this WEIRD noise... and the chain keeps catching... and I just don't understand these things.

Yes yes, but before he helps you with that Saturned, I wanted to ask him what types of motorcycles are best for women (if any) and where I might purchase one of those long, metal-ish objects used to pound things... I think they call it a hamurd or something....

=P

lol
 
A

Anew Leaf

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Yes yes, but before he helps you with that Saturned, I wanted to ask him what types of motorcycles are best for women (if any) and where I might purchase one of those long, metal-ish objects used to pound things... I think they call it a hamurd or something....

=P

lol

shhhhhh, I haz plan lak an INTJ! I waits until he bend over... WAY OVER... then I bop him on the head... drag him to the corner and inject him with my special "INFP" gene splicer cocktail. He will wake up needing a hug and to be fed some cheesecake. Might have a headache but that too shall pass.
 

jixmixfix

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Before you go on your killing spree, I could use some help with my bike. It's making this WEIRD noise... and the chain keeps catching... and I just don't understand these things.

ask bamboo he is much better with bikes than I am, weird noises can be many things the chain probably catches cuz something is wrong with your gears, they might need some tightening. :)
 

jixmixfix

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Yes yes, but before he helps you with that Saturned, I wanted to ask him what types of motorcycles are best for women (if any) and where I might purchase one of those long, metal-ish objects used to pound things... I think they call it a hamurd or something....

=P

lol

I hope your not trying to inflict any violence especially not with a hamurd. :yim_rolling_on_the_
 

Lady_X

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i cannot fucking stand for people to say or imply that my way of being or going about things is wrong. being judged for not doing things the way i'm supposed to. for not staying the fuck out of my business and keep your unwanted, unsolicited advice to yourself.
 
A

Anew Leaf

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ask bamboo he is much better with bikes than I am, weird noises can be many things the chain probably catches cuz something is wrong with your gears, they might need some tightening. :)

so long as you are distracted enough to not actually inflict any damage on any aforementioned critters.

earth is saved!!!

the crowd goes wild *hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
 

jixmixfix

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so long as you are distracted enough to not actually inflict any damage on any aforementioned critters.

earth is saved!!!

the crowd goes wild *hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
:thinking:

I'll never kill an animal for fur but I sure know how to piss off an idealist off :)
 

Lady_X

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Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved

how sad :(
but really... seems like normal t/f relationship issues.
 

Lady_X

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@ OP: Pick on someone vulnerable right in front of me or hurt someone I care about. It's a sure-fire way to make me really angry. I don't really like it about myself, it's almost like I can summon more care on behalf of others than for myself.
yes me too..cannot stand it! i get super protective.
 

stalemate

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i cannot fucking stand for people to say or imply that my way of being or going about things is wrong. being judged for not doing things the way i'm supposed to. for not staying the fuck out of my business and keep your unwanted, unsolicited advice to yourself.
yes
 

Thessaly

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Make them go to law school.

/end thread.
 
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