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[ENFP] The ENFP "investigative journalist mode"

autumn

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I have seen a couple of references here fairly recently about ENFPs "mining people for information" by trying to get them to open up and asking them all kinds of questions. I thought this was kind of curious, since I don't think I do this. I really find that I am a private sort of person, and, accordingly, I also try to respect the privacy of others. I often want to ask questions and learn more about people, but if anything I ask too few questions and sometimes wonder if I leave people thinking I'm not interested in them and how they're doing, when in fact I really do want to know more about them (what they've been doing lately, what they think about certain things) but don't want to invade their privacy.

ENFPs, what have your experiences been in this regard? And those of you who know ENFPs, how have your experiences with them been with regard to this?

autumn
 

SillySapienne

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I love getting to know people via asking them questions.

It's a pretty signature move of mine to ask a "new" person a 101 questions, lol.

Wait, I still tend to ask old friends of mine many questions as well. I think I am just inherently an inquisitive person.
 

nemo

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Yeah, I've witnessed this; both in real life and on these forums.

I'm not an ENFP, but I personally love it when they're trying to take me apart.

Especially if I like the other person and their attention. :heart:

I think it's a good thing in general. I wouldn't worry about privacy so much, that's usually easy to pick up on and you can just graciously drop it if you find them uncomfortable.
 

alcea rosea

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I do it but I always adjust myself according to the people I'm having a conversation with. So I'm not interrogating people. :laugh: I'm very interested in people and I do ask lots of questions but I usually sense it quite fast if somebody doesn't want to talk about something and then I usually stop trying and change subject.
 
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Griffi97

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My best friend is ENFP and she definitely does this. When we went to parties together it wore me out just watching her. :) I'd also say she generally only does it with new people and she seems to get bored with them fairly quickly.
 

WobblyStilettos

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I want to murder my ENFP sister for this sometimes. I'm not saying any of you do the same as her :hug: but she can't accept 'I don't know' as an answer, she keeps on and on with questions like 'But roughly how much would you say?' 'Somewhere between 1 and 10?' 'But if you had to pick...' even when I say I don't know :BangHead:
 

Butterfly

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Yeah Im quiet nosey too :p
But I try to get my information through various ways- both direct questioning and indirect methods eg devils advocate, reactions, body language, unspoken words, their eyes etc.
Im am interested in people and want to know about them. Even though each person is unique, its not hard to categorise them into various kinds. Most of the knowing is intuitive though.
I usually dont open up to new people. I mean I have layers...and they can see the outer couple of layers...but not whats in the core :devil: I show that to my inner circle. :D

As for privacy, well you will notice when your pushing it...so you will automatically back off i guess. :)
 

Butterfly

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I'm not an ENFP, but I personally love it when they're trying to take me apart.

Especially if I like the other person and their attention. :heart:

.

Nemo, thats interesting. Because most people DONT like being taken apart. So its refreshing I guess. :)
 

SillySapienne

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Hold up, I soooooooo would not classify myself as being nosy!!!

I sincerely respect people's privacy, and have a disdain for gossip. I enjoy getting to know people who enjoy revealing themselves, if at any point I sense resistance, I simply stop. I am never one to *pry*, but if the person is a *willing* participant, then yes, I am one to ask, and ask, and ask!!!

;)
 

SillySapienne

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I want to murder my ENFP sister for this sometimes. I'm not saying any of you do the same as her :hug: but she can't accept 'I don't know' as an answer, she keeps on and on with questions like 'But roughly how much would you say?' 'Somewhere between 1 and 10?' 'But if you had to pick...' even when I say I don't know :BangHead:
WOW, this however, I am guilty of at times. :blush: I think that when we hear, "I don't know" as a response, we see room for progress/growth. In my personal experience, many excellent conversations have essentially begun, and ended :huh: with such ominous words.

In that sense I totally admit to being a "peeler", in my frequent attempts to uncover *why* that person "doesn't know". LOL.
 

Seanan

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Yes, I have a couple of email buddies (ENFP and J) who do it and that, per se, doesn't bother me. What does bother me though is getting a letter asking me this or that about myself.... what I think or how I'm feeling. I reply and they don't reply back. Its like WT they got the info.. satisfied their curiosity and just dropped it. That does make me feel like less than human to them.
 

Mikesen

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I do it all the time. Sometimes I go overboard on my questions.

But more interesting I think is the reason you don't ask questions. It sounds like privacy is your dogmatism. You're "life principle" if you will. It sounds a lot like a dogma that you live by. I have the same thing, but it's a different principle. I try as hard as I can to avoid living by faith in my life. If I believe something based on faith I try as hard as I can to destroy that belief as fast as I can, and this is for reasons I won't bother getting into. It would take pages.

But I'm wondering if NF's, or more specifically ENFP's, have a dogmatism they live by. Maybe this is just a rehashing of the "life principles" thread, but it seems like it's an exclusive thing that no one else has.
 

alcea rosea

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I sincerely respect people's privacy, and have a disdain for gossip. I enjoy getting to know people who enjoy revealing themselves, if at any point I sense resistance, I simply stop. I am never one to *pry*, but if the person is a *willing* participant, then yes, I am one to ask, and ask, and ask!!!

;)

I agree on this. This is what I mean when I wrote on my post that I do ask questions but I stop if I see I made somebody feel uncomfortable.
 
S

sammy

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I enjoy the ENFP shower of questions. I especially love it when they don't hold back on their curiosity --no matter how taboo the area of my life may be to discuss!
 

SillySapienne

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I agree on this. This is what I mean when I wrote on my post that I do ask questions but I stop if I see I made somebody feel uncomfortable.
Yup, that's how I do, pretty much!!! ;)

I enjoy the ENFP shower of questions. I especially love it when they don't hold back on their curiosity --no matter how taboo the area of my life may be to discuss!
:hug:

Gotta love the people who appreciate this about us, much love!!! :wubbie:
 

LostInNerSpace

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I have seen a couple of references here fairly recently about ENFPs "mining people for information" by trying to get them to open up and asking them all kinds of questions. I thought this was kind of curious, since I don't think I do this. I really find that I am a private sort of person, and, accordingly, I also try to respect the privacy of others. I often want to ask questions and learn more about people, but if anything I ask too few questions and sometimes wonder if I leave people thinking I'm not interested in them and how they're doing, when in fact I really do want to know more about them (what they've been doing lately, what they think about certain things) but don't want to invade their privacy.

ENFPs, what have your experiences been in this regard? And those of you who know ENFPs, how have your experiences with them been with regard to this?

autumn

I don't mind being mined, but if I feel it's an invasive procedure, like I'm being drilled for an answer to a question I don't particularly want to answer I will ask the same question of the other person because it will probably be a question they don't particularly want to answer either.
 

Butterfly

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In that sense I totally admit to being a "peeler", in my frequent attempts to uncover *why* that person "doesn't know". LOL.

Hi CC, nice posts.
But with due respect, I would classify this as being 'nosy'. :)
 

autumn

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I do it all the time. Sometimes I go overboard on my questions.

But more interesting I think is the reason you don't ask questions. It sounds like privacy is your dogmatism. You're "life principle" if you will. It sounds a lot like a dogma that you live by. I have the same thing, but it's a different principle. I try as hard as I can to avoid living by faith in my life. If I believe something based on faith I try as hard as I can to destroy that belief as fast as I can, and this is for reasons I won't bother getting into. It would take pages.

But I'm wondering if NF's, or more specifically ENFP's, have a dogmatism they live by. Maybe this is just a rehashing of the "life principles" thread, but it seems like it's an exclusive thing that no one else has.

While respecting privacy (my own and that of others) is important to me, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a life principle. I do think there are other things that are both more important and more primary. The idea of a "personal dogmatism"/life principle is an interesting one, though.

autumn
 
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