Hmm. Landmines, for me, are tidbits of information that are pertinent to my daily life and have emotional effect. I'm more prone to share them, especially because they aren't in the depth of my core (which ENFJ will protect like no tomorrow), but they are also used as a sort of weeding through process with people. Basically to see who can't handle it and gets blown up, or what people will tolerate of the ENFJ-emotional-mind-self.
I wouldn't say it's intentional, but it becomes predominant when I don't feel that I can be vulnerable with someone - or unsure of if I can let them into the core. It's a bombardment and I've noticed the ones that get blown up by it end up having skewed views of what my priorities are. They then base their opinions of me on how they were landmined. They don't actually know anything of relevance, but they think they do.
There is a secondary depth to landmining, which is seeing what they do with the information they were landmined with. Usually it is on the very border of a friendship/relationship, but what they do with it can prove what value and understanding they do or don't have. Best case scenario- they can work themselves straight into the core from being on the outs, but that's rare.
What it does is protect the ENFJ core. You give a more public, safe glimpse at your emotional realm- which isn't false, but keeps from a lot of damage until you know you can really let someone in.
The downside could be if a person would respond far better to the actual core than the landmining. However, that leaves room for a lot of vulnerability and core-upset, which definitely isn't desired.
- Do I think your ENFJ is landmining you? Doesn't seem like it. However, I'm concerned about this addiction involving other people. As far as I know, ENFJs will try to damage-control themselves and we don't tend to have people who are our pillars. Perhaps he was trying to do this and failing, but your calling him out on it snapped him from trying to do it on his own.
Either way, it can definitely take a long time for us to peacock the depths of ourselves to people. I've personally only felt comfortable doing this somewhat quickly with ENFxs. They have more of a capacity to get it. INFPs are good too, but they take a lot more time to weed through. Sensing types are on another planet to me lol.
